{"id":18311,"date":"2013-08-01T10:20:22","date_gmt":"2013-08-01T17:20:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theweddingyentas.com\/?p=18311"},"modified":"2013-08-01T10:26:45","modified_gmt":"2013-08-01T17:26:45","slug":"how-to-write-your-own-ketubah-text-for-your-jewish-wedding","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.bryanfriedman.me\/yentas\/inside-scoop\/how-to-write-your-own-ketubah-text-for-your-jewish-wedding","title":{"rendered":"How To Write Your Own Ketubah Text For Your Jewish Wedding"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"From-The-Expert\"<\/a>
\nBy Anna Abramzon of Anna Abramzon Studio<\/a><\/p>\n

Ketubah text has been a hot topic lately, with the custom of a ketubah (or a decorative marital contract) becoming more and more popular among couples from all different backgrounds and faiths. A good way to think about your ketubah is as a \u201cmarriage\u201d between visual art and written word. So, you found the perfect art that speaks to you, but what next? If you are getting married with an Orthodox or Conservative rabbi then the choice is easy, at least for the Hebrew portion of your ketubah \u2014 there is a standard Orthodox Aramaic text<\/a> and what is known as the Conservative text with Lieberman Clause<\/a>. If you have a rabbi from one of the more liberal movements then you have more decisions to make. Either way, most rabbis don\u2019t mind if you pair the Hebrew or Aramaic with an English text of your choice, especially because the Orthodox and Conservative texts are pretty cut and dry. Ketubah websites and shops usually have a variety of texts for you to choose from, but what if none of them fully express what you want to say to each other? After all, it\u2019s a very personal conversation between you and your fianc\u00e9!<\/p>\n

Here are some tips for writing your own ketubah text:<\/p>\n

The Basics:<\/p>\n

A ketubah is a contract, so there is some information that it traditionally includes:<\/p>\n

The date of the week of the wedding<\/strong> \u2014 if you are having the ceremony on a Saturday before sunset, some rabbis prefer that you list your wedding as Sunday so you are not getting married on Shabbat. This is something to check with your officiant.<\/p>\n

The English date of the wedding
\n<\/strong>
\nThe Hebrew date of the wedding:<\/strong> remember, Hebrew days start at sunset, so if your chuppah is after sunset then you should list the next day\u2019s Hebrew date. Here is a great site that will convert the date<\/a> for you.<\/p>\n

The location of the wedding:<\/strong> Definitely the city and state, some rabbis also like to add the country.<\/p>\n

Your names and your parents\u2019 names:<\/strong> traditionally the names are written in this form: \u201cJennifer daughter of Jacob and Elizabeth\/Sam son of Michael and Rachel.\u201d Of course whether or not you want to include the parents\u2019 names is ultimately a decision for you and your rabbi. Most Orthodox rabbis prefer to just have the fathers\u2019 names, while Conservative rabbis are often times more open to including both parents\u2019 names.<\/p>\n

A sample first paragraph of a ketubah text:<\/strong><\/p>\n

On the _________ day of the week, the _________ day of the month of _____________, corresponding to the __________ day of the month of ______________ in the year _________________, here in __________, ____________, the bride ________________ daughter of ____________ and ____________, and the groom ______________ son of _______________ and _____________, come together before family and friends to affirm their commitment to one another as partners in marriage.<\/center><\/p>\n

Now the fun part:<\/p>\n

Think of ketubah text as vows you are making to each other.<\/strong> A good way to get started is to brainstorm your values as a couple. Some good starting points: respect, kindness, support, love, faith, nurture. Do you plan to have kids? You can include some values for raising children, such as \u201cwe will pass on our values to our children\u201d.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t be afraid to get personal.<\/strong> Want your partner to bring you a glass of water before bed every night? Here\u2019s your chance to get it in writing!<\/p>\n

It\u2019s OK to be funny. <\/strong>Some amazing clients of mine wrote a truly unique ketubah text that included that the bride \u201calways gets a maid.\u201d and \u201cIn return the (groom) will always have a microwave (lest he find himself stirring his oatmeal over an electric stove like some early-American pioneer);\u201d Another favorite of mine was a couple who were both teachers and ended their text with \u201cI vow to always be your greatest teacher.\u201d Remember, that humor is never bad for a relationship and is as old a Jewish value as the 10 commandments. \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n

You can write the paragraphs as vows you are saying to each other:
\n<\/strong>
\n

\u201cThe bride and groom declared to one another: \u2026.\u201d<\/center><\/p>\n

Or divide them:
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cThe bride, _______, said to the groom_________: \u2026.\u201d<\/center><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd the Groom,__________, promised his bride__________: \u2026\u201d<\/center><\/p>\n

Be true to your spirituality: <\/strong>If religion is an important part of your lives, then by all means include that in your text. You can draw on biblical passages, or mention conditioning ancient traditions. But if religion is not your thing, then don\u2019t feel pressured to mention it. This is your ketubah and it should reflect who you are as a couple.<\/p>\n

Ask for help:<\/strong> If you get stumped, ask for help! Studying others\u2019 ketubah texts can help you get ideas, but your rabbi, officiant, or ketubah artist could also be great resources. Remember, they deal with ketubahs all day long and you can\u2019t beat that kind of experience!<\/p>\n

Make it meaningful:<\/strong> When my husband and I were getting married, our rabbi said to us that engagement is like a microcosm of the rest of your lives together. You deal with all the big issues: budget, family, personal taste, etc., at once. Your ketubah text is a great opportunity to start a conversation and set a precedent for how you will work together as a couple.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t forget to proof read:<\/strong> Because wouldn\u2019t you hate to stare at a typo on your wall for the rest of your lives?<\/p>\n

Enjoy the journey. Remember, your ketubah will stay with you forever, so let this process be a wonderful memory that accompanies you both into old age. Mazel tov!<\/p>\n

\"AA1\"<\/a><\/p>\n

***********************************<\/center><\/p>\n

\"AnnaToday, Anna Abramzon of Anna Abramzon Studio<\/a> chimes in as a ketubah<\/a> expert on The Wedding Yentas! They say she started drawing before she started walking, but that may be an exaggeration. As soon as she did start walking though, Anna started traveling, sketchbook in hand. She has lived all over the place and her travels have infused her artwork with color and life. Anna specialize in mixed media, combining collage with gouache, watercolor, pencil and ink. Anna met and married her husband in Jerusalem, Israel, and thought their wedding was a wonderful opportunity to create some love-inspired art, so she painted their ketubah<\/a>, their invites, their thank you notes, and pretty much everything else that she possibly could for their wedding. Next thing she knew, other people started asking her to create artwork for their weddings. And that’s how Anna became a ketubah<\/a> artist. She lives in Houston, Texas with her husband and daughter. Shop for your ketubah and keepsake art at Anna Abramzon Studio<\/a>. <\/em><\/p>\n

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