He Finally Proposed!
The story of our engagement is …
He Said
She Said
Pictures
He Said
It was December of 2006 when I woke up one morning with an overwhelming desire to finally ask Alison to marry me. I can’t say specifically what caused it, but then I’m not sure any single thing caused it at all. I think it was just the stars finally aligning for me. She had been ready and I was finally there. Of course, I had to do a lot of planning first, so the first thing I did was call my future Best Man, Brian Becker, and break the news to him. He was glad to hear it and we talked over proposal ideas for a while, finally settling on a Napa Valley proposal during our trip in March. After Brian, I called my sister to share the news with her and she was super-excited. Finally, I wanted to share the news with my parents in person, but when I called them to make dinner plans, they of course guessed by the tone of my voice what I wanted to get together for. So with only these four people knowing, it was time to start figuring out my strategy.
First: the plan. The most important thing to me was surprising Alison. I really wanted to catch her off guard. The problem was, most great ideas (hot air balloon over Napa, hot-tubs in SLO, etc.) all seemed somewhat obvious to me. I kept thinking she’d be thinking "okay, this is it" and I did not want that. Ultimately, I settled on a plan that involved gathering our parents together (secretly) on the morning that we would leave for our trip and I would do it with everyone there before we took off for the extended weekend. It had all the elements: surprise, family, romance. It wasn’t perfect, but I was happy with it.
Next: the ring. I knew Alison had specific ring criteria and expectations (she only made it clear to me every other day), so I felt a little pressure on this one. However, thanks to the wonder of the Internet, I did ample research on the four Cs and finally settled on my place to purchase this prized possession. It was in Downtown L.A. in the Jewelry District, but they weren’t open on the weekends. I had already planned on going down there with Brian on a Saturday, but he instead convinced me to go on a whim, so I left work at lunch, picked him up and headed out. I picked out what I was sure would be the perfect ring, but once I had it in my hot little hands, I realized there was no way I could wait three months to share this with Alison. I was already having to keep up the facade of "I’m not ready" (as recently as the night before) and it was just too hard to keep it up. Plus, I now had this ring burning a hole in my pocket. So, on the ride home I pretty much just lost my mind and went crazy.
Then: insanity. Luckily, my partner in crime was there. Brian urged me to calm down and figure this out. It was clear I needed to propose as soon as possible and that pretty much meant that night. I had two problems. One, I hadn’t even told her parents about my intent yet, and two, I looked horrible. Neither of those would have been too big of an issue earlier in the day, but it was now nearly 5:00pm and I was stuck in traffic on the 10 freeway, at least an hour from even getting close to home. On top of this, my parents were leaving for Hawaii the following day. Brian calmed me down and helped me handle things. I then proceeded to make an unbelievable amount of phone calls while driving (thanks Hands-Free!).
First I called my mom who agreed that I was crazy but assured me that I had to do what I had to do. Then I called Alison and tried to convince her to meet me near her parents’ house for dinner, but she resisted, just wanting to stay in for the night in Sherman Oaks. When I hung up the phone with her, I was dejected and I felt ready to give up. How was I going to tell her parents, go home and change and go back to Sherman Oaks before it was just too late?! Once again Brian convinced me it was still possible. I then got to call Alison’s mom and break the news to her over the phone and in my daze didn’t think to even ask if her dad was there. So here I am telling her mom I’m going to propose tonight and she’s all alone…she had to call me back. I then called and made reservations for that night at Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse in Woodland Hills, anticipating that Alison’s parents would want to meet us soon after the event. I was skeptical that Alison would want to go out based on her resistance, but Brian assured me that a diamond ring would likely change her mind. Alison’s parents called me back shortly after and agreed to meet us. I could tell they were flustered, but no one was more flustered than me. I don’t know what I would have done if I’d been by myself.
So, I dropped Brian off at his house, he wished me luck, and I sped home to shower and change and become presentable. Then I drove all the way back to Sherman Oaks, planted the ring in my overnight bag, and headed for Alison’s door. She answered it in sweatpants and glasses, looking ready for an order-in movie night. She then insisted that I move my car from off the street into the parking garage. How could I argue with her? She didn’t know we needed to leave in 30 minutes. I got incredibly nervous, but finally got around to asking the question after stumbling over a pre-rehearsed speech that became an improvisation very quickly. Alison’s initial answer to my question was "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" so I figured I had caught her off guard as expected. She did finally say "yes" and I told her to change and get ready to go meet her parents for dinner. She transformed quickly and we headed out the door.
Finally: the celebration. Alison made many phone calls in the car, including ones to my parents, her grandparents, and her parents as well. Once we arrived, I felt much more at ease now that the weight was mostly lifted off my shoulders. We had a very nice dinner and discussion and I’ve never seen Alison more happy and overwhelmed all at the same time. I was thrilled things had worked out and actually happy I had chosen this route instead of one of the many I had considered carefully early on. Now it was time to begin the wedding planning adventure, but as far as I was concerned, the hard part was finally over.
She Said
Friday, January 12th was the end of a very…long…week. I think I’d been inundated with work and had just started rehearsals for Thoroughly Modern Millie so by Friday, I was exhausted. The night before, I was at Bryan’s house and in the middle of a playful tickle fight, we found ourselves discussing our future. Now, we’d done this before so this conversation wasn’t exactly foreign to us, but it was also my way of gauging his timeline in the proposal process. As it had been before, Bryan’s stance was that he loves me, knows he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, but doesn’t feel he’s lived up his bachelorhood enough yet. And, as it had been before, the conversation ended with whimpers and sadness from me, knowing that the man I love sits on a level much different from mine. We shut off the light, and I went to sleep with thoughts of me in a wedding dress at Coco’s with white hair, wrinkles and a cane.
On Friday morning, Bryan and I made plans to have a date night. I was glad and wanted to see him and not talk about weddings or lifelong commitment in any capacity — I just wanted his company and love. My work day got crazier and as my headache crept up and my eyes felt scratchy, I’d decided that our "date night" would consist of a stay-at-home night. Bryan called me in the afternoon to set up plans, but I told him that I felt so beat – that I just needed us to have a night in. He sounded disappointed on the phone, like he’d really wanted a nice dinner and a movie, but as his usual supportive self, Bryan okay-ed the stay-in night and we planned on seeing each other at my home in Sherman Oaks around 7:30.
The day was finally almost over and I had visions of pajamas and the remote control dancing in my head. Just as I was getting ready to leave work in Burbank, Bryan called me and asked me to drive out toward his house for our veg-in night. I snapped at him for asking me to drive in traffic on a Friday night into Simi Valley because a) I always spend the entire weekend in Simi Valley and we should enjoy my Sherman Oaks home at least once in a blue moon and b) he knew I was tired! I’d already explained that I was so exhausted, I felt sick and all I wanted to do was cuddle up in sweat pants and him! He sighed and as the usual best boyfriend he is, he said he’d see me soon at my place in Sherman Oaks. Atta boy!
As soon as my key unlocked the front door, I zipped upstairs, put on my glasses, ponytailed my greasy hair and got comfy in a pair of sweatpants and an old Arizona shirt. With my remote in one hand and my blankets wrapped around me and the TV on, I was in heaven. About 45 minutes later, Bryan showed up at my house and looked pretty spiffy in a button down shirt, slacks and "going out shoes." I interrogated him about his couture "veg-out" clothes and he told me that maybe he could convince me to go out after all. I snorted out a laugh and didn’t think much else. When I realized Bryan had parked on the street instead of the underground garage, I told him to move the car. On Saturday mornings, parking isn’t free on the street and since we were staying in for the night, it made no sense NOT to park his car in the secure garage. He hesitated and moved it. We were just a staircase away from my room and relaxation and I couldn’t wait. My soon-to-be movie night was just what the doctor ordered!
Once we got into my room, I started doing my bed routine — putting on lotion, fixing the blankets, the works. Bryan was on the other end of my bed and started to tell me how he felt bad about the "not yet" conversation we’d had the night before. He almost had tears in his eyes and I instantly thought that I’d made him feel guilty and that he resented it so much that he was just ending things altogether. So I told him that I felt bad it came up, too, and that I want him to take his time and be ready when he’s ready. So I walked away to take my slippers off and put them in my closet when he said that he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. While music to my ears, these words weren’t new to my ears either, as we’d expressed these sentiments before. So I replied in agreement on both accounts of love and life and I thought that was the end of it. I turned around and saw Bryan trembling. The ceiling fan wasn’t on… the window wasn’t open… how could he be chilly? So he repeated that he loves me and reached behind him and picked up a shiny, wooden box. We had just celebrated Chanukah less than a month ago and he gave me a pretty jewelry set so I couldn’t think of a reason why he’d be giving me jewelry again.
Bryan started to tear up so I met him on the other side of the bed and facing each other, he said that the conversation we’d had the night before was killing him because he’d had this planned for a while and he feels so relieved to finally ask me to… marry him! WHAT?!?!?!??!?!
He opened the box and I was dazzled by a gorgeous solitaire diamond ring! I looked at him, looked at the ring and looked back at him. In shock, I shrieked "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" and he said "yes!" and I laughed and cried and giggled and kissed him and after about two minutes of that very surprised and girly behavior, I realized I never said yes (although I’m sure body language made up for my lack of coherent words!). So I looked at my groom-to-be and said right into his pretty blue eyes, "Yes! Yes I’ll marry you!" and when he slipped the ring on my finger (which fit perfectly!), my greasy ponytail and plain face disappeared and I felt so beautiful. Just as I was realizing this major, life changing moment was real, he said to me "Now, get dressed. We’re meeting your parents for dinner at Ruth’s Chris in Woodland Hills!" I burst into more silly fits of giggles and tears and tried to throw on a dress and put on some makeup, but I was so distracted! I skipped down the hall to Annie’s room and told her we’d just gotten engaged and cheers filled the house! She helped me focus and get dressed (already proving her Maid of Honor skills) and by 8:30, Bryan and I were on our way.
Our engagement night was the most exciting night of my life so far. The phone calls to our families and constant gazes at my ring felt so dream-like. I stared at him all night and couldn’t believe how lucky I was – and still am! – to have found such an amazing man who loves me back! Free dessert at my favorite steakhouse is a great reason to get engaged, but knowing that the rest of my life will be filled with days of happiness and love is an even better reason!
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