Bryan’s Ramblings

Either way you slice it, there is politics in theater – especially community or school theater. The people who are in the inside crowd nearly always get cast, and you really have to work and “pay your dues” (read: kiss lots of ass) to be let into that crowd. For those who really love theater, it’s of course completely worth it. However, for those of us who consider theater a passing hobby or an occasional creative outlet, it just seems like pulling teeth to get into a show.

When I was in high school, I was in the drama/theater circle, and I started my freshman year – kissing the asses of my teachers and also the seniors. By my junior and senior year, I was ruling the department along with my fellow insiders. We had really worked our way up the theatrical-political chain to the point of truly being the kings of the theater department. We got the leads, we made the calls, we ran the show.

Then, after being the big fish, I left that small pond and jumped into a different small pond (slightly larger) and shrank in size again. In college, I had to start all over – only I wasn’t that heavily involved. I was a Computer Science major; this was the total opposite side of campus, not to mention brain. So I auditioned for one show, didn’t get in, and pretty much gave up. It wasn’t worth it. My career in theater was over.

Or was it? I didn’t do a show again, acting or crewing, for five years (maybe six), and it didn’t seem to matter. Until that fateful day when I said “sure” once and “why not?” a second time and I found myself in not only a small Halloween show, but in the ensemble of a musical. This was one of those rare cases where I was on the inside crowd by association. I didn’t work to get there really, I was just close to the people who did. So I walked right in, until the day that I couldn’t anymore, and I haven’t done a show since.

Now, I don’t need theater as much as some people I know (like my sister), but I have that bug occasionally as I watch a live performance or sing in my car. It’s not that I’m particularly great at it, or that I really even enjoy the false sense of camaraderie that being in a production brings. It’s just that sort of creative buzz that I get from being involved in the whole process just a little bit. I’m too practical (and untalented) to make that a living – but it’s a nice escape from my too practical life.

All I’m saying is I wish I didn’t have to keep playing the games to get involved. I have to start up that theatrical-political ladder again, somewhere/anywhere just to have a shot at keeping my creative juices flowing. That’s why I always ramble about starting my own theater company – but of course, that’s just as much work or more as trying to be a true part of an existing one. So, I’m probably doomed to a life of simply singing in my car, but at least I often have a chorus with me…and they’re more theater crazy than me. That’s a scary thought actually.

Well, I still have my piano, and writing, and softball, and…school, I guess. And work, right? Oh man – I think I need to take up knitting or something.