Monthly Archives: May 2010

Real Weddings | Kapolei, HI

Posted on May 6, 2010 by Alison in Real Jewish Weddings

Tim and Rachel first met as teens in Northern California and began dating their freshman year at the University of Arizona. Six years after their first kiss, Tim popped the question on a beautiful San Diego morning in September of 2007. Tim and Rachel planned to get married 11 months later after Tim finished the California Bar Exam, but decided to throw the plans to the wind and hit the beaches of Oahu with family and friends who could make the elopement. Tim and Rachel had anticipated a fair amount of wedding stress that they just didn’t want, so how does a couple avoid stress? They fly to Hawaii to tie the knot, of course! They had 3 short weeks to put together a wedding and even flew out the family rabbi to officiate. Together, with the closest Home Depot, they all created a chuppah while on the island and picked up Hawaiian floral yarmulkes at a local Chabad. With short notice came lots of flexibility. The JW Marriott Ihilani took care of many of the details as Rachel easily allowed her wedding coordinator to oversee the event.

Rachel proved to be the poster child for relaxed bride when the wedding ceremony entailed all kinds of chaos. From a move of the ceremony site to a wrong turn in the weather, Rachel and Tim accepted the changes with grace. The true test of love came when the ceremony was interrupted by fire alarms due to a fire in the hotel laundry room, but the couple and their guests continued on and now tell this story with giggles. The adventures of the wedding planning and big day were as fast-paced as the hula, but Rachel and Tim let the spirit of Aloha guide the start of their marriage!

Mazel tov, Rachel and Tim!

Venue – JW Marriott Ihilani Resort & Spa
Photographer – Dawn Nash of The Romance Specialists
Videographer – Prince7 Studios
Hair & Make-Up – Dorys Foltin
Bridal Salon – Here Comes the Bride
Gown Designer – Michelle Roth

Can’t Get Enough Of The Aufruf

Posted on May 5, 2010 by Alison in Inside Scoop, Jewish Traditions, Planning

You and your groom have been planning for months and months, probably. Every conversation involves the word “wedding” and every time you see white, you get excited. The wedding planning process consumes a big chunk of your life, but the wedding festivities don’t really begin until about a week before the special day.
On the Shabbat prior to the wedding, the couple goes to synagogue and experiences the Jewish custom called the Aufruf. In modern congregations, the bride and groom experience this together, but traditionally, the Aufruf is when the groom is called to the bimah for an aliyah and recite a blessing over the Torah. Judaism honors children and the gifts they bring to the world. Creating children means continued faith and Torah study for the Jewish people. Therefore, it is no surprise that the groom’s aliyah includes reading the letters of the Torah, which contain the ten utterances of creation.

When the Aufruf takes place in relation to the wedding day varies depending on the family of Jewish people to which the bride and groom belong. Ashkenazi Jews enjoy the Aufruf ceremony on the Shabbat before the wedding. The Aufruf is held for Sephardic Jews on the Shabbat after the wedding. So, to recap: Ashkenazi, before; Sephardic, after. It’s even in alphabetical order and everything. Add that to the catchy methods to learn things like PEMDAS for math or Every Good Boy Does Fine for memorizing lines on a treble clef staff. But I digress…

Here’s the best part of the Aufruf. The congregation throws candy at you!!! CANDY. Thrown. In your direction. It’s like Halloween for almost-married grown ups. Like everything in Judaism, it’s symbolic. The candy symbolizes a sweet and fruitful marriage blessed with many children.

After the Aufruf, the family hosts a Kiddush for the congregation. Clearly it is an unspoken Jewish law to eat after any sort of milestone, so Aufruf joins the company of such life cycle occasions.

Our Aufruf was fun and special. Just being up on the bimah together, holding hands, reciting an aliyah, and receiving the rabbi’s blessings reminded us that the wedding day was near where we would again be brought together under the chuppah to become husband and wife. If your rabbi offers an opportunity for an Aufruf, I highly recommend taking part in this custom because it’s a wonderful stepping stone on your path to the ultimate wedding experience.

Real Weddings | San Francisco, CA

Posted on May 4, 2010 by Alison in Real Jewish Weddings

Nicole and Michael met like many modern Jews do today: on JDate. Sparks flew immediately and the girl that never wore shorts fell in love with the boy who enjoyed nature. Michael is very calm and humble. Nicole is full of energy and passion. Opposites attracted and created an attractive couple. Together, they balanced each other out and spent the next two-and-a-half years enjoying the outdoors and doing everything and anything together. Nicole and Michael didn’t fall in love, as falling is never good. They grew to love each other for their differences and similarities!

In May of 2008, on an ordinary morning, Michael and Nicole crawled out of bed and put on sweats to get some exercise on the famous Lyon Street Steps of San Francisco. In the middle of their walk, Michael asked Nicole to slow down and stop so he could catch his breath. The feisty Nicole ignored his request because she wanted to keep her heart rate up. Determined, Michael asked if he could have a hug. How could a girl in love ignore that? As they embraced, Michael started to talk about love, and he was on his knee with a ring in his hand and that monumental question on his lips. In complete shock, Nicole cried and joined him on the ground. At a landmark in the city by the bay, Nicole and Michael filled their hearts in San Francisco, and a gorgeous wedding sprinkled with personal and traditional touches followed 16 months later.

Mazel tov, Nicole and Michael!

Venue – Ritz-Carlton San Francisco
Photographer – Jay Kelly
Floral Design – Nancy Liu Chin
Entertainment – DJ Solomon
Artist – Greg Kalamar
Dress – Jin Wang

Why You Should Yichud

Posted on May 3, 2010 by Alison in Inside Scoop, Jewish Traditions

I endearingly called May 25, 2008 The Wedding Olympics. No one was competing for any scores. There was no torch to light and pass. A Beatles medley played in place of national anthems. However, the day was full of events that had us leaping from place to place and it was tiring. We made it through on adrenaline and love, so the long jumps and the synchronized swimmings and badmintons of the day did not feel too exhausting. So as true athletes do (ohmygosh, I just had the audacity to compare my husband and myself to athletes… true ones, even), we basked in our glory and winnings (each other) and enjoyed some nice, quiet alone time after the ceremony, otherwise known as the yichud.

I’ll explain the traditional significance of the yichud, but I’m telling you now, that’s not exactly what we did!

The yichud translates in Hebrew to the word seclusion. Traditionally, unmarried men and women should never be secluded together so, in theory, the wedding day is the first time this ever happens between the bride and groom. This law came about after the rape of King David’s daughter when she was left alone with her half brother. It was then that David and his high court extended this prohibition to all unmarried girls. Typically, the laws of yichud are followed by Orthodox Jews but all Jews may interpret the laws to fit their ceremony or beliefs. In early historical times, the yichud was when the just-married couple would consummate the marriage and witnesses would be there to guarantee privacy and verify that it indeed happened because technically, this was a legal and required act.

Fast forward to 2010. Modern day traditional brides and grooms leave the chuppah and go directly to a private area or room for their yichud. For couples who chose to fast on their wedding day in order to start their life anew, this is when they would also break the fast and exchange gifts. Typically, the bride will bless the groom, saying “May you merit to have a long life, and to unite with me in love from now until eternity. May I merit to dwell with you forever.”

Not every modern Jewish couple chooses to enjoy a yichud after the ceremony, and that’s okay, too! Some just want to get right to the party or have to continue with photographs. My groom and I chose to do a very short and sweet yichud and it was one of the highlights of our day. Those ten minutes marked the first time we got to really talk and rehash our mornings and afternoons when we were apart. And we reminisced about the ceremony and the vows we said to each other and how the weather perfectly cleared up as we left the chuppah to “Here Comes The Sun.” We sat in a garden 50 feet away from our flower-kissed chuppah, hand in hand, excited for the kick ass party that was about to start inside, and gushed about the gold medal event that had just taken place: becoming husband and wife.

Image courtesy of Marlin Munoz