Monthly Archives: September 2011

Tales From The Veil: Cloudy With A Chance Of Hotel Fire

Posted on September 21, 2011 by Alison in Tales from the Veil

Another “Tales from the Veil” story is brought to us by Rachel Kitt who is the Executive Assistant at the Jewish Federation of San Diego County. She loves to run competitively and for pleasure, bake gluten-free sweets, and hang out with her hubby, a San Diego attorney. After eloping to the island of Oahu in December of 2007, Rachel finds herself looking back on her Jewish destination wedding adventure and laughing out loud. Her story will show you how any bride can take wedding disasters and turn them into wedded bliss. Lemons into lemonade. Grapes into Manischewitz. We’ll be hearing more from Rachel as a regular contributor to The Wedding Yentas.

Like life, weddings are not meant to be perfect. Our wedding, our wonderful wonderful wedding, was filled with so much calamity and hilarity that I think it deserves its own post to explain why and how we turned lemons into lemonade and made some disasters into laughter. Our 40 attendees got a wedding they will never ever forget. And why not get married with a bang? Or, um, a fire? Yes, there was a fire at our wedding, but I’m saving that one til the end. For now, though, here’s a list of moments we are now able to chuckle at as we remember our quickly-planned Jewish wedding in Hawaii.

Someone called my mother my grandmother and thought I would die. After a long day at the beach, a friend, who shall remain nameless, accidentally assumed my mom was my grandmother. And he called her my grandmother in front of me. But worse, in front of her and a hot tub full of wedding guests. “You look so much like your grandmother,” the friend said to me. Heaven help us! He almost died of embarrassment and she almost died too. It became a hilarious joke throughout the weekend. Our friend is such a sweet person that he spent the rest of the time in Hawaii calling my mom Mrs. Hoffman and telling her how beautiful and wonderful she looked. “Oh Mrs. Hoffman, you look so lovely this evening.” “Mrs. Hoffman, what a beautiful dress!”

Our rehearsal dinner was a big group of people. By “big group of people,” I mean the whole group. How could we not invite all 40 people who had flown from California to Maryland to be in Oahu on 3 weeks’ notice? We selected a nearby restaurant and created a special menu to make it easier on the kitchen and faster to get our food. You can imagine the laughs we had when instead of seeing “Rehearsal Dinner for Rachel Hoffman and Tim Kitt” it said “Tom Kitt.” This is funny because they mixed up a letter and my dad’s name is Tom! Oops, wrong man! We unassumingly said that if this was the worst that would happen, that would be great. Little did we know… little did we know.

My dress was too big. I was so afraid that I wouldn’t be able to stay in wedding dress-shape during our pre-wedding vacation that I changed my diet to fruit and yogurt only. So those last five pounds I lost were not on purpose, not welcomed, and not happy with a strapless dress. It is actually possible to lose too much weight for your wedding, ladies. Trust me.

It rained. We were on Oahu for ten days and the only time it rained was during the 30 minutes of our ceremony. Thankfully my dad was smart to cover the ketubah so it didn’t get wet, my brother-in-law sat in the wettest seat but didn’t care, and my mascara did not run. All was okay!

There was crazy wind! It was so intense that I thought my sister was pulling my veil as we got ready to walk down the aisle, but it actually the wind, pulling my veil out of my perfectly coiffed hair. Sorry again, sis! I really didn’t mean to get mad. I now know it was the wind’s fault!

Our wedding album has no beach pictures. Seriously. Have you ever heard of a bride having a destination Hawaiian wedding and not have any beach photos to show for it? Thanks to the rain and wind, I was not in the mood to go to the beach and get dirty and sandy. So, we don’t have any photos with tropical scenery, but we did find a nice little piano to take cute photos on at least.

The hotel caught fire during our ceremony. This is not a joke. There was literally a fire. In the hotel. During our ceremony. Apparently a towel got caught in the laundry room at the hotel and caught fire. And the hotel alarm went off. And then a fire engine roared to the hotel. Three times. Then we saw black smoke. Apparently the hotel wanted to stop our ceremony but our wedding coordinator, in her smart move of the day, stopped them since we were far enough away from the hotel. Thank goodness we did not get married inside or we definitely would have been evacuated. There’s truly nothing more romantic that stopping a wedding ceremony, right? You get thirty minutes in your life that’s completely devoted to you and your love, and during our thirty minutes, the fire alarm and three fire engine sirens interrupted. Awesome.

So when you have a snag in your planning or on your wedding day, just know it could always be worse. It’s these crazy moments that make your wedding the most memorable wedding you or your guests will ever attend. Just ask our friends if they remember a wedding more than ours. Rain, wind, and fire showed up at our wedding as uninvited guests and the rest of the invitees are still talking about it! Always expect the unexpected even on wedding days and happily ever afters. Then, laugh!

Real Weddings | Beverly Hills, CA

Posted on September 20, 2011 by Alison in Real Jewish Weddings

It all began in the winter of 2007 on the very first Pathways Israel trip. Through a series of random seat changes, Danielle and Jason ended up sitting next to each other on the eleven-hour plane ride from New York to Israel. Needless to say, that was plenty of time to establish a connection, and they both enjoyed learning about their Jewish heritage and visiting cultural sites together during their two weeks in Israel. After the trip, Danielle went back to Michigan and Jason went back to California. However, as fate would have it, Danielle landed a teaching job in California and moved across the country eight months later.

As time went on, Jason and Danielle grew together in their Jewish observance. By the time Jason proposed during a visit to Ojai, California the weekend before Danielle’s birthday, the couple knew that they wanted to have a traditional Orthodox wedding. Jason made a beautiful speech at the tish as Danielle greeted all of her guests. Danielle’s most emotional moment was when she and Jason saw each other for the first time in a week as Jason placed the veil over her face during the bedeken. After the ceremony, which was held in the beautiful main sanctuary at Nessah Synagogue, the couple and their guests danced to traditional Jewish music and enjoyed a delicious kosher lunch. By the end of the day, everyone was exhausted from all of the dancing. Guests of all religious backgrounds and observance levels had a blast.

Mazel tov, Danielle and Jason!

Venue- Nessah Synagogue
Photographer- David Miller Studios
Music- Nefesh Music
Catering/Coordination- Simply Perfect Desserts and Catering
Linens & Vases- Heavenly Party Decorations
Videographer- Video Keepsakes
Flowers- A Flower Snob
Jeweler- Sean’s Jewelers
Officiant- B’nai David Judea
Kippahs & Benchers- A1 Skullcap
Ketubah- Ketubah.com

real-jewish-weddings-|-beverly-hills,-ca

Wedding Party Planning

Posted on September 19, 2011 by Alison in Planning

A few weeks ago, my husband and I sat around the table eating and talking (it’s what our people do best, no?) with my sister-in-law and her boyfriend who, according to my crystal ball (and the boyfriend) will be engaged in the quite near future (hooray!). Soon, SIL will be another bride who scours wedding blogs (and we all know which one will be her favorite, right? RIGHT???), and she will be tasked with the millions of decisions that go into planning a wedding.

During our dinner table chat, we were discussing the difficult choices of selecting a wedding party. For SIL’s boyfriend, the options were pretty simple and easily assumed. For SIL, the situation was different: should she pick bridesmaids who she has history with and has known a long time, but isn’t currently close to? Or should she choose gals who she knows are true friends right now, but maybe don’t have seniority compared to others? Naturally one of her options is easy (ahem!), but rounding out the rest of her party requires more thought. And then, it dawned on her, should the amount of bridesmaids equal to the amount of groomsmen? This round table conversation went in spirals as we analyzed the ins and outs of choosing the wedding party.

I don’t necessarily think there’s one right or wrong answer. But for discussion’s sake, I’ll share our conversation and what it came down to.

The bridesmaids are part of an exciting time in a bride’s life. They definitely have a required presence on the wedding day, but usually play parts in the months leading up to the chuppah as there are dress shopping, bridal showers, and bachelorette party dates to add to the calendar. Since that’s a pretty hefty commitment, it’s in the bride’s best interest to choose women who will be around for a long time, preferably, ya know, for life. So, the tennis partner du jour at the country club is probably not the best option.

We also agreed that friends come in many different categories. Friends from the category called We’ve Known Each Other Forever And Passed Notes In Sixth Grade During Math Class And You Were There For Me When I Got My First Period And We Saw Each Other During Our Breaks Home From College But Don’t Really Talk As Much Anymore, well, as nice as it is to know people from that far back, probably don’t belong in your bridal party either.

So there’s a fine line. The Way Backs and the Right Nows. SIL and I decided that the Right Nows who will certainly turn into In The Long Runs are the best option. They are excited for your bridal adventure and they know you best as a bride and, most likely, your husband-to-be as well. The odds are in your favor that you have more in common with them during this stage of your life and that the quality of friendship is equitable on both sides. If you are a lucky girl to have that lifelong friend that you’ve stayed closed with through all the stages of life, then by all means, that is a girl who is going to be one rockstar bridesmaid. But don’t let nostalgia take over your wedding party. Embrace your current friends and tell them that they mean so much to you and you’ll enjoy the experience even more with them by your side on your wedding day, but also throughout your marriage.

As for the equal amount of ladies and gents in the wedding party: personal preference! SIL and her boyfriend were pairing up their potential bridesmaids and groomsmen together to walk down the aisle two by two, but when their amounts didn’t even up and there were some men without a lady, they scratched their heads — conundrum!– and I said “Feh! Why do they need to pair up? Give each one their time in the spotlight and let them do a solo mosey down the aisle!” Eureka! So, there’s that. Don’t have an equal group? That’s so okay. Pair some up? Sure! Make them all go solo? Fine! Do a three-way saunter, linked arms, Wizard of Oz-style? Why not!

And then we realized there are no rules. When it comes to picking out your bridesmaids or choreographing who walks with who and when, just remember, it’s your wedding! It’s going to be unique anyway because there are no two people like you and your lovey in the world. So, why should your wedding be like every other wedding in the world? Make decisions that suit you best, that you feel comfortable with, and that will make you happy for years to come as you look back on your wedding day.

So You Think You Can Hora Dance

Posted on September 15, 2011 by Alison in Jewish Traditions

You and your groom got through the ceremony. The glass is broken. You spent time alone. The guests are enjoying cocktails. It’s time for your grand entrance. You’ll probably show off your first dance. And most likely, right after, you and of your closest family and friends will gallop onto the dance floor and the Jewish instinct kicks in “Fiddler On The Roof”-style: you and your wedding guests grapevine your way into a festive hora dance.

Dance has always been a part of the cultural element of Judaism, usually incorporated into celebratory occasions as early as Exodus 15:20, which was when Miriam led the women in rhythmic dances after the crossing of the Sea of Reeds from Egyptian slavery to freedom. Today, dance also inspires spiritual expression.

So, it’s no wonder that the hora is the norm-a at Jewish weddings. It’s a time to celebrate and honor traditions!

The hora, also sometimes spelled, horah, is danced in 6 beats, usually to the song “Hava Nagila”:

Form a circle with your guests and hold hands
Step out on your left foot
Put your right foot behind your left
Step out on your left foot again
Kick your right foot out
Kick your left foot out
Repeat until you’re pooped!

Have you ever mushed up a bunch of Yiddish-sounding words and faked the lyrics, because, really, you have NO idea what the words are? Admit it, you have no idea. Thanks to the Yentas, now, you can dance and sing the right words:

Hava nagila (Let’s rejoice)
Hava nagila (Let’s rejoice)
Hava nagila v’nismecha (Let’s rejoice and be happy)

Hava neranenah (Let’s sing)
Hava neranenah (Let’s sing)
Hava neranenah v’nismecha (Let’s sing and be happy)

Uru, uru achim! (Awake, awake, brothers!)
Uru achim b’lev sameach (Awake brothers with a happy heart)

Uru achim, uru achim! (Awake, brothers, awake, brothers!)
B’lev sameach (With a happy heart)

Somewhere during the dance, your cousins or the fathers or even some shnockered groomsmen will grab some chairs, lift you up, and toss you around while you hold on for dear life. This makes for some fabulous photos! Word to the wise: Have your venue set aside two arm chairs near the dance floor just for this portion of the evening. Emphasis on the ARM chairs. You’ll want something to grab on to. Trust us!!

A mother or an aunt will probably toss a napkin at you. This is not because you have chicken skewer sauce on your face left over from cocktail hour. This is because there’s an Orthodox rule that women and men, including the bride and groom, cannot touch, therefore, dance together. When the bride and groom hold on to each end of the napkin, they can “dance” together up in the chairs without touching. Conservative and Reform couples usually incorporate this tradition in their hora dances due to its festive nature, even if they’re not having an Orthodox wedding.

And now we leave you with a video of a hora at a wedding by Perspective Video. It’s such a fun way to get the party started!

hora-chair-lift

Image courtesy of Next Exit Photography.

The Sounds of Your Wedding Video

Posted on September 14, 2011 by Alison in Inside Scoop

Music is a big part of your wedding day. Deciding on the music that will play as you walk down the aisle, the song that will orchestrate your first dance as husband and wife, and even the tunes that underscore your cake cutting are important choices as they help paint the picture of the mood you want to create.

But after your wedding day, you should still enjoy melodies that represent your day. Was it a dark, sexy, and romantic wedding? Was it a bright, cheery, and playful event? Was it modern and chic with the latest trends? The music of your wedding video should also complement the style of your wedding day.

While watching the fabulous work of Generations Cinemastories, I really noticed the music that played behind the cinematography. I found it so moving and representative of the kinds of weddings these couples created and the personalities of the bride and groom. A good videographer not only shoots and edits the highlights of your day, but will also weave in music that triggers important moments.

A wedding with rich Jewish tradition may have spiritual songs and warmth in its wedding video. A romantic and lavish affair will have a slow and instrumental ballad. You’ve hired your cinematographer because you wanted an artist who will capture your day in a visual style that matches your taste. But don’t forget, too, that the sounds of your video — the truly unique reason to hire a videographer — offer another opportunity to relive the feelings you felt on the day you got married. Because Generations Cinemastories and their colleagues are are excellent movie artists, you can trust that they’ll find the right music to showcase your day.

I love watching highlights reels and choking up when I hear sweet songs during the “First Look” or getting pumped up when I hear a party tune to go along with the guests’ showing off on the dance floor. Watch your video and enjoy. And then watch it again and give it a really good listen. Another layer unfolds.

And your ears will rejoice!