Monthly Archives: January 2014

From The Expert: Perfecting Your Jewish Wedding Registry With The Perfect Guide

Posted on January 15, 2014 by Alison in Featured, From the Expert, Inside Scoop, Jewish Traditions

Today’s Expert: Dena Siegel of Chai & Home: Jewish Life, Beautifully Lived

I didn’t listen to my mother when I was setting up my wedding registry. My mother had a reputation for expensive tastes and spending quite freely, especially other people’s money: at least that is what Dad said. Anyway, when she expressed dismay at my registry full of general household goods and encouraged me to remove that stuff to instead list a proper set of china, crystal, and a real silver set, I was incredulous.

When I was setting up my registry, my fiancé and I were very aware that we didn’t want other people to see us as money-grubbing and desirous of expensive gifts. We placed practical items on the list: a wok, lamps, some small cooking appliances, towels, and the like. It was stuff we really needed everyday and most of it was inexpensive. I thought the guests would appreciate my practicality and see items they could easily afford.

Fast forward 10 years. Do you know what I have left from those gifts: One set of crystal candlesticks — and these weren’t on my registry! They were given off-list and I can only assume because the giver wanted to give me something that would last and they didn’t see anything like that on my registry. Since then, the wok and towels wore out and the lamps and electric items were left in England when I moved back home to Los Angeles. But I use the candlesticks regularly for Shabbat and now I know what my mother meant.

Here is what I know now but didn’t know then:

1. THE WAY YOU LIVE AND ENTERTAIN NOW ISN’T NECESSARILY HOW YOU WILL ENTERTAIN IN 5 AND 10 YEARS. You may not hold Passover now or many other formal dinners. But when you have kids and a beautiful home and your parents are older, by golly, you will be doing just that.

2. YOU THINK OF THE GIVER AND YOUR WEDDING DAY EVERY TIME YOU USE A GIFT FROM THE REGISTRY. This is really true so most items on your registry should be beautiful and elegant because that is how the giver will be remembered, and they know it.

3. YOUR GUESTS (PARTICULARLY YOUR RELATIVES) WANT TO GIVE YOU TIMELESS ITEMS. They have the wisdom to know how important these gifts are and they don’t want to be the one remembered by the vacuum cleaner because they know how temporal and banal the vacuum cleaner is.

4. YOU MAY NOT BE IN A POSITION TO BUY FINE ITEMS LATER. You may be feeling flush now because you have two incomes and no children, but when you are starting a family and establishing a home, it might be years and years before you are in a position again to buy a gold-rimmed set of china. And it might never happen.

So do your future self a favor and listen to this yenta: plan your registry very carefully.

Here is a tool to help. Chai & Home’s A Very Jewish Wedding Registry. This is a downloadable and printable guide to all the key items you will need in establishing a beautiful, Jewish home. With it you can create a meaningful wedding registry that your guests will be pleased to contribute to and that will set you up for your future household.

You will see there is an emphasis on Judaica and tableware and almost no cookware or appliances. When chosen wisely, the Judaica and tableware should last you lifetime. Not only do cookware and appliances not last, but they have an air of mundane practicality that most givers don’t want to be associated with.

May the gifts of your wedding registry display the joy and love your family and friends have for you during this magical time in your life.

L’Chaim!

Download the full registry checklist now!

Dena Siegel writes Chai & Home, a style blog about elegant, modern Jewish living. Through Chai & Home, Dena shows how Jewish life is beautifully lived by bringing you the best in accessories and Judaica available today. New ideas mixed with centuries old traditions will enliven your practice and stimulate yourself, your family, and friends. Visit Chai & Home or swing by to “Like!” the Facebook page.Visit Chai & Home or swing by to “Like!” the Facebook page.

All this pretty stuff! After you’re finished making some additions to your wedding registry based on the tips from Chai & Home, try to get your hands on MORE pretty stuff! Enter for a chance to win the grand prize of our current sweepstakes, sponsored by Emily Kuvin Jewelry Design!

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Pingback: A Guide to Stocking the Jewish Home | Chai and Home
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{Real Jewish Weddings} Freedom, NH

Posted on January 13, 2014 by Alison in Real Jewish Weddings

Ariel and Josh met on a plane to Australia, where they were both heading to study abroad with a mutual friend. They fell in love and Josh proposed to Ari while they were traveling in Nepal. The couple now lives in Colorado, but planned their wedding at Camp Cody on Lake Ossipee in New Hampshire. They clearly have an adventurous spirit and love to experience the world!

About their wedding day: It was a chilly, blustery day, but the sun came out just in time and it all ended up being wonderful! The guests were treated to a fun-filled weekend of activities, crafts, and camping in cabins — a grown-up summer camp experience! Ari & Josh provided everyone with water bottles stuffed with snacks, ear plugs (for bunk sleeping), and mini flashlights (so people could get back to their bunks at night). The Bedekken and Ketubah signing were brimming over with emotion and joy, and everyone was clearly overjoyed to see these two get married! Even Josh’s grandmothers may have had the best time, dancing their hearts out and loving on the bride and groom! The dance floor was not only packed, but Josh and Ari’s guests had to be asked to sit down for dinner because people wouldn’t stop dancing! As the reception wound down, they still wouldn’t leave the dance floor, so everyone sat right down on it as one of the bridesmaids gave a final, lovely, toast. It was clear that everyone in attendance had a fabulous time!

Mazel tov, Ariel and Josh!

Photographer: Krista Photography
Venue: Camp Cody
Invitation Design: Lila Fagen
Wedding Music: Shirim Klezmer Orchestra
Wedding Dress: David’s Bridal
Ketubah: Ketubah.com
Hair Stylist: Davis Hairdressing

Were you inspired by Ari and Josh making their wedding a true reflection of them? You can do the same, especially starting with your wedding day jewelry! Don’t forget to enter for a chance to win the sweepstakes sponsored by Emily Kuvin Jewelry Design going on RIGHT NOW!

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{Real Jewish Weddings} Minneapolis, MN

Posted on January 9, 2014 by Alison in Real Jewish Weddings

Gabriella and Michael were married in Minneapolis and made every inch of their wedding a reflection of them. The play-by-play of their special day is here in Gabriella’s words.

We had a great time getting ready out the beautiful Grand Hotel Minneapolis. They were extremely accommodating and lovely to work with. They gave us the Presidential Suite (totally unexpected!) for me and my bridesmaids. My sister Jessie and I spent the night before at the hotel and we had a great time enjoying all the beautiful amenities with my bridesmaids!

Mike and I did our “first look” at the hotel. I made a grand entrance coming down the staircase, and it was truly magical. Being that Mike’s Russian, he doesn’t always show his emotions very openly, as compared to me (Brazilian and Egyptian); I wore my emotions on my sleeve! He was very emotional and looked at me as if he was looking at me for the first time. It was a very special moment that I will never forget.

We did photos with our bridal party at the gorgeous Guthrie Theatre in Minneapolis. It was a lot of fun, and the view is truly breathtaking.

Mike’s tish was held on the balcony of the main ballroom, with all guy friends, male family members, and groomsmen. We signed our ketubah on the venue’s bridal suite. While we were researching ketubahs, we spent a lot of time online until we found the perfect one! We approached this part of our wedding and marriage as if it were a piece of art. We wanted it to be unique, special and reflect us as well as the tradition. We found a fantastic ketubah artist on Etsy, who was not only able to incorporate our logo/monogram, but also added 2 angels (archangel Michael and Gabriel), in honor of our namesake. I truly believe that these angels brought Mike and me together.

The ceremony included all of the important traditions that have been part of Jewish weddings for generations and generations. Part of the magic of the ceremony was the venue. The setting was so important to our overall vision. We knew we wanted something unique, spacious, modern and truly unforgettable for our wedding. We wanted it to be a reflection of us and our taste, and most importantly, we wanted to infuse our vision in the space…rather than the vision of the space taking over the wedding. I had my heart set on the Jeune Lune even before we were engaged! While celebrating the 2011-2012 New Year, Mike and I and a few friends went to a New Year’s party hosted at the Jeune Lune. It was the venue’s inaugural debut from being a theater to becoming a premier venue hall in the Theater District of downtown Minneapolis. I remember walking in to the Jeune Lune and being completely mesmerized by the space! I leaned in to Mike and whispered in his ear: “This would be the perfect spot for a wedding.” And it was.

At our reception, we had a very fun sweetheart table! Each table is slightly different. We wanted a very intimate atmosphere without table designs. We chose all different shades of white and pink flowers, and also had a lot of candles as part of the decor.

Since ARIA was previously a theatre, we entered stage left onto the dance floor, and had the DJ get everyone up from the chairs and onto the dance floor! It was so much fun to walk into the venue and see our guests already up, animated and having a great time!

We went right into the hora after the grand march, and that was a HUGE highlight for me! The cantor and our good family friend Yossi sang a medley of Jewish dancing longs LIVE with an accompanying track, played by the DJ. I think we looped that medley at least 3 times, and we were dancing for a good 15 minutes! Having him sing Hava Nagilah was one of the most memorable moments for us and our guests. He has such an amazing voice, and the energy level was through the roof!

My dad surprised us right after the Hora with a special treat! He had a belly dancer do a performance and then everyone got the chance to shake their stuff of the dance floor! Since my family is Sephardic, we almost always have a belly dancer and Middle Eastern music accompany our family celebrations, so this was no exception. For Mike’s Russian family and guests, this was a lot of fun!

Since this was a little more than half a Russian wedding, we HAD to include Vodka! And boy, did we. There is a very well-known Russian restaurant in St. Paul, MN called Moscow on the Hill and they distill their own flavored vodkas. We ordered several cases of various flavors (Ginger, Spiced Pear, Raspberry, Caramel, Tiramisu & Horseradish) and hosted a “Vodka Social” on the balcony in the main ballroom. It was just a great time! After the meal portion of the reception, and right around the time desserts were being served, we invited our guests to sample the different vodka flavors on the balcony.

Mazel tov, Gabriella and Michael!

Photographer: Yuriy Kormin
Linens/decor: Natalya Kormina
Videographer: Matt Jasper Motion Design
Catering: Crave
Venue: ARIA Le Jeune Lune
Officiant: Rabbi Avram Ettedgui
Florist: Aneta’s European Floral
DJ: Nora Events
Hotel: The Grand Hotel Minneapolis
Ketubah: Jerise via Etsy
Hair: Marni Force Flores Makeup & Hair
Makeup: Julie Martin Makeup

And don’t forget to enter the custom jewelry giveaway! After enjoying all the bling in Gabriella and Michael’s wedding, aren’t you wanting a little bling of your own?

Enter below!

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GIVEAWAY!! Emily Kuvin Jewelry Design Wants to Make You Look Purty!

Posted on January 8, 2014 by Alison in Contests and Giveaways, Featured, Inside Scoop

I seriously have to pinch myself when I have the opportunity to share such wonderful wedding vendors and products with you! And providing you an opportunity to win stuff? Well, color me giddy!

Emily Kuvin and I agree on a lot of things. We agree that you deserve to look maaaaahvelous on your wedding day. We also agree that you should continue looking maaaaaahvelous on every other day, and especially on future special occasions, which is why you deserve to have jewelry that’s unique and personal, made with only the highest quality bling, and created by a true artist who knows her stuff.

Here’s the thing: You spend hours and hours and hours shopping for THE DRESS. You look through a zillion magazines and web sites, you visit all kinds of stores and boutiques, you try on gown after gown, picking through miles of fabric until you find THE DRESS that makes you weep with joy. This is something you wear on your body, to represent your bridal style, and, unfortunately, only gets worn for the duration of your wedding day. If only it was socially acceptable to don your wedding gown in the frozen foods section of Trader Joe’s! (I’m not kidding. IF ONLY! Sigh.).

So if you spend that much time and thought and decision-making on your dress, shouldn’t you treat your jewelry with as much respect, especially since you can wear it over and over again through life’s special occasions? Fact: I still wear my wedding day earrings to most formal events I attend. It makes me feel happy to give myself a little wink-wink, nudge-nudge that those puppies still look great and are artifacts from one of my most favorite days ever. And hey! They’re the last of my wedding gear that still fit! (I have not gained any weight in my ear lobes! Can you believe it?!)

So this is why I want you to look your best and feel your best, knowing you are wearing jewelry that’s been commissioned JUST for you! Who says only movie stars and first ladies should get this kind of treatment?

Here’s where winning comes in. Emily Kuvin Jewelry Design wants to give you a chance to win a $250 credit toward a custom designed necklace. The winner will also receive 10% off additional jewelry designs for your bridal party because, yes, jewelry makes for awesome bridesmaids and mothers gifts! What a great way to tie in your wedding look!

And, because Emily and I think you’re all winners — awwww — everyone who enters automatically gets 10% off toward their custom jewelry purchase.

Get inspired now. Visit Emily Kuvin Jewelry Design on Facebook (“Like” the page!) and browse her web site. Pretty stuff!

So, nuts and bolts:

From now until January 15th at 11:59 p.m. PST, enter for a chance to win a detailed consult to discuss your jewelry dreams with Emily which includes tons of thorough communication and designs, a $250 custom necklace, and 10% off your wedding party suite.

All entries are automatically awarded a 10% off coupon code which will be emailed on January 16th after the completion of the giveaway and after the winner has been announced. Winner will be notified via email and announced by The Wedding Yentas on Facebook and Twitter. This sweepstakes is open to U.S. residents. Entries do not have to be Jewish or a bride in order to qualify.

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Good luck, Yentas!

From The Expert: Exploring Your Name On The Ketubah With Rabbi Rayzel

Posted on January 7, 2014 by Alison in From the Expert, Jewish Traditions

By Rabbi Rayzel of Shechinah.com

Working with couples on their weddings for the past 20 years, I have had the privilege to enter their hearts at a very special time when they are filled with love and hope for the future. My willingness and intention to officiate at interfaith weddings has always been to become a “loving portal” of connection to Judaism. I believe that a friendly rabbi goes a long way to serve the “yet to be affiliated” interfaith family.

I have met many different kinds of couples over the years. Those with one strongly-identified Jew, or two “we’re not so religious” types, or perhaps the Jewish partner is the ambivalent one and the other partner has strong faith in a spiritual force. It has been fascinating to witness what becomes important and meaningful as the wedding planning unfolds. When I explain the Jewish wedding customs and offer contemporary meanings for them, it is often the partner who isn’t Jewish who insists on breaking the glass or wearing a kippah!

One of my favorite conversations to have during in the planning is in regard to the ketubah, the wedding document. To me this is the defining moment of what direction a couple’s lives will take, and can determine whether they will raise a Jewish family. The ketubah has come a long way; earliest versions guaranteed that the groom would provide food, clothing, and sex to his wife, and in exchange she became the property of her husband. The then black and white printed ketubah was put away somewhere in a drawer — it wasn’t seen as anything more than a contract. Although the traditional ketubah, using this guaranteed exchange and printed out simply, is still used in Orthodox circles, most of my interfaith couples select a gorgeous flowery text in Hebrew and English, beautifully calligraphic, and embellished with other design features to hang on their wall.

Ketubah by Anna Abramzon

The ketubah is not generic: both partners’ names are included in the text. While most Jews are given a Hebrew name at or shortly after their birth, interfaith marriages provide a challenge. How do we fill out this ketubah using Hebrew names when one partner does not have a Hebrew name?

I have always found it odd to transliterate “Chris” or “Christine” in Hebrew for a ketubah. I have used this moment in discussion with my couples to raise the issue of Ger Toshav (Hebrew for “resident stranger”). I explain that there were two kinds of converts in ancient Israel: the righteous convert (ger tzedek) and the one who dwells among us (ger toshav). I explain, “It’s like having your ‘green card’ with the Jewish people.” The Ger Toshav agrees to raise their children with Jewish customs, to be an ally of the Jewish people. To be a Ger Toshav can also but not always begin a journey towards conversion.

One couple, an ambivalent Israeli bride and a lapsed Catholic groom, grappled with what to do with the future children. “A little of both,” they agreed. However when we got to the moment of deciding what Chris should be called in Hebrew in the ketubah, he immediately said, “‘Shlomo’ — I’ve always loved that name.” The bride was shocked; he had never said that before. At that moment I knew that taking a Hebrew name would change his destiny forever.

Jews believe that names carry power. We don’t even mention the name of our God it is so powerful. (Instead, the names used in prayer are nicknames.) We have a tradition of changing a sick child’s name to Chayim (life) or Alter (old) to fool the angel of death. So when Chris became Shlomo, I knew that this moment would define him and his spiritual journey for years to come — even if his bride was ambivalent about her tradition.

Using the category of Ger Toshav also clarifies a murky status. I had a counseling session with an interfaith couple who were stuck on how to raise the children. The groom, grandson of Holocaust survivors, was adamant that his children be Jewish. The young Catholic bride burst into tears saying, “Give me the rationale for why I should put aside my faith to raise these children Jewish. I’m not Jewish!” I replied, “Perhaps your own efforts to raise these children Jewishly will go a long way on some cosmic level toward the healing of the Christian history towards the Jews.” “But I won’t be Jewish or Catholic, I’ll be nothing,” she countered. My response was to tell her that as a Ger Toshav, you align yourself with the mixed multitudes who left Israel creating the paradigm of freedom. The Jewish people have a deep and rich history; by your willingness you help pass on ancient wisdom and meaning you further this history. This satisfied her angst and she agreed to bring the children up Jewish. She’s now in search of her Hebrew name for the ketubah.

I use the ketubah moment to begin the discussion of children, allegiance and affiliation with the Jewish people, taking new names, and spiritual journeys. It opens many avenues to discussion and is clearly a defining moment of transformation.

For more information about ger toshav, click here!

This article was originally published for InterfaithFamily.com.

Rabbi Geela Rayzel Raphael is a rabbi in private practice in the Philadelphia area. She has a specialty in interfaith weddings and welcomes couples to her home on Shabbat. In addition, Rabbi Rayzel is an award winning singer/songwriter. She is a proud member of The Wedding Yentas family and is available to discuss your needs for lifecycle events. You can visit her at Shechinah.com.