Another “Tales from the Veil” story is brought to us by Rachel Kitt who is the Executive Assistant at the Jewish Federation of San Diego County. She loves to run competitively and for pleasure, bake gluten-free sweets, and hang out with her hubby, a San Diego attorney. After eloping to the island of Oahu in December of 2007, Rachel finds herself looking back on her Jewish destination wedding adventure and laughing out loud. Her story will show you how any bride can take wedding disasters and turn them into wedded bliss. Lemons into lemonade. Grapes into Manischewitz. We’ll be hearing more from Rachel as a regular contributor to The Wedding Yentas.
Once upon a time, your first girlfriend got engaged and you were, shall we say, hmmmmm, a tad jealous. Not jealous, like, you are angry with her. But more like, seriously, why can’t the boyfriend hurry up and propose so you could be the one in her shoes. We may not admit it out loud, but we’ve been there. Anyway, you sucked it up (or drank some wine) and a year or so later, you went to your friend’s happy occasion. You thought, “the flowers are so pretty” and “wow, look at her dress.” Maybe you were thinking, “yikes, I wish the food tasted better.” But mostly, you thought about how beautiful it all was. How happy you were for your girlfriend! And then with each friend’s wedding, the cycle continued and continued and continued.
Until the day you got engaged.
The day you get engaged definitely changed your life, but you also began to see weddings you attended in a whole new light. Instead of “wow, she looks beautiful!” you started thinking “hmmmm, that looks good, but maybe I’ll do looser curls.” When you saw the bridesmaids, you thought “ooh, knee length looks less formal! I like that!” or “do I want a black-tie wedding?”
Me as a bridesmaid with my sister-in-law at her and my brother's wedding.
What I’m trying to say is that your weddings of your friends and family will be more than just their special day: it will be a walk-through for you. A mini trial. It’s a free and safe test run. You need to not only enjoy the festivities, but take note of what you liked and didn’t like.
When I was engaged, I actually would go home after a wedding and write down what I liked and didn’t like. You know, it’s almost like a real, live (but private) Pinterest. It’s not a critique on your friend’s wedding, or anything personal about her. It’s not about your friends, the bride and groom, at all, actually. It’s about you getting real world experience from a guest’s perspective with a bridal point of view. You may have never thought twice — or even once! — about the difference between passed hors d’ oeuvres versus an appetizer station. Food was food and you were eating it. But now, with a wedding to plan, you are thinking more about these very decisions you’ll have to make yourself.
My husband and I with our friends Lindsey and Jody at their beautiful wedding in 2010.
So go in there with an agenda. Borrow your friend’s experience. And when your wedding day comes, hopefully you won’t realize it, but rest assured that as you are walking down the aisle, at least one of your girlfriends will probably be looking around and thinking, “I love the flowers she chose!” or “Wow, natural looking make-up is the way to go!”
