Wedding guests who are coming from out of town must really love you! No, really, this isn’t meant to be a guilt trip, but people who take the time and spend the money to travel to be at your wedding are people who hold you near and dear to their heart. So it’s truly an honor when out-of-town guests RSVP “yes!” to your wedding and Yentas etiquette recommends you do your best to make them feel at home and accommodated while they’re visiting you on your home turf.
You want to make their stay an enjoyable and memorable experience. Group rates on hotel rooms help them make the most of their wedding travel buck. It’s easy to do: Call two to three hotels, tell them you’re expecting a ballpark figure of wedding guests, and negotiate a group rate for a block of rooms. For your own sanity — and bank account — make sure the hotel doesn’t require you to pay a minimum. Some will, some won’t. Depends on the property. Just be aware that this is policy from time-to-time and you should be fine. Once you’ve secured your room rates, send advance notice to your out-of-town guests to let them know their options and rates. Include addresses of the hotels and approximate distances from the wedding-related events they would be invited to attend. Usually there’s a hotel deadline to reserve a room at the provided rate, so don’t forget to include the book-by date as well so guests don’t miss out and blame you!
You may want to provide welcome bags to your out-of-town guests. This is not a requirement, but it is a nice gesture and a popular wedding trend. The welcome bag can include basics like water, some snacks, an extra invitation or a print-out of the dates, times, and locations of wedding-related events, a list of things to do in the area, and maybe even a novelty item. The last wedding I went to was in Chicago and I loved how the couple included iconic Chicago items in the bags: packs of Wrigley gum, Garrett’s popcorn, and yummy potato chips made by a local company. Including a thank you note for coming shows your out-of-towners that you appreciate the extra effort and expense it took to travel to your wedding.
For your reference, use this checklist to help you organize and plan for your out-of-town guests:
Hotel
- Reserve a block of rooms
- Confirm reservations
Transportation
- Set up shuttle service to the ceremony
- Set up shuttle service to the reception
- Set up shuttle service to the hotel(s)
- Set up shuttle service to the planned events
Meals
- Plan a pre-wedding dinner (Shabbat dinner, rehearsal dinner, welcome cocktail hour)
- Plan a post-wedding brunch
Information
- Supply directions to the hotel, ceremony, and reception
- Supply maps of the local area
- Supply brochures of attractions in the area
- Mail information to guests prior to their departure
- Supply hotel with the information
Welcome Gifts
- Prepare welcome bags
- Prepare welcome letters
- Prepare schedule of events
- Deliver welcome gifts to the hotel(s) to be handed out at guests’ check-in
