Let’s face it. Our people always want any opportunity to get together and eat. Passover seders are basically dinner and a show and even when there’s a death in the family (pooh-pooh, spit, spit!), the mourners can always feel better knowing there’s a lavish deli platter in store. We eat. It’s just what we do. So on the weekend of your wedding, it doesn’t seem like it’s enough to have only a Shabbat meal, rehearsal dinner, and wedding reception entree. No, we need just one more chance to get together, discuss the previous night’s events (“Did you see how snockered Aunt Sylvia was last night at the wedding? Oy vey, she’s become such a shicker since she moved to Leisure Land!”), and sit around to eat… again.
So, where does this leave us? Presenting: The Day After Brunch.
As with all things wedding, this is not a required or mandatory event. If you’re not doing it or don’t want, forget it. You can go play Words with Friends and skip the rest of this article. But if you’re considering having a Day After Brunch, read on for a little guideline.
You need to make sure you know who you’d like to invite to the Day After Brunch before you send out the invitations. Typically, the guest list is made up of the out-of-towners and immediate family. Your boss at work and his girlfriend don’t need to be there. Your next door neighbor probably isn’t going to make the cut. Just think about the people you really don’t get to see often and who you’d want to spend more time with, and go from there. If it makes it any easier, usually the Day After Brunch is comprised of the same group from Shabbat and/or rehearsal dinner.
Make sure you send out the invitations separately from the wedding invitation. As a rule, each wedding weekend event should have its own invitation. They don’t all have to be the same wedding paper ensemble — oy! That would cost you a fortune! — but the Day After Brunch can be a simple, standard invitation that details the place and time of the brunch.
Sometimes it’s hosted at a hotel where most guests are staying or if it’s the wedding venue. Other times, a parent or grandparents has the guests over at their house for a catered brunch. The menu does not have to be elaborate. Regular “brunchy” items — fruit, cereals, bagels and lox — can absolutely suffice. Oh and coffee. Lots and lots of coffee. Especially for Aunt Sylvia types.
Here’s the one question that may be burning in your mind: What if the bride and groom are ticketed to run off for their honeymoon the very next morning after the wedding?
That’s a lucky bride and groom to be starting their lives together ASAP! But it’s okay if they’re not there. As much as everyone would love to see the new star couple, it’s all about the gathering of the family and friends. The Day After Brunch is also great closure for the parents of the bride and groom. They don’t get a honeymoon after the wedding. Life continues as usual. So here’s a chance to take a breather, transition from a wonderful night of seeing their children marry, and spend time with loved ones.
After all, it’s not just food that binds our people, is it? As guests trickled out of the wedding reception when it ended, they hugged and kissed goodbye as if they wouldn’t be seeing each other again. Individuals could be leaving for Siberia or heading off to war the way they carry on with the bear hugs and wet kisses. But then, 12 hours later, they’d all be re-gathering for another round of shmoozing with company and coffee. This phenomenon is called the Jewish goodbye. And the Day After Brunch is one heck of a Jewish goodbye.
