Category Archives: Planning

You Have a Junior Bridesmaid. Now What?

Posted on February 25, 2013 by Alison in Bridesmaids, Inside Scoop, Planning

Your younger, but not thaaaaat much younger cousin whose hair you used to french braid for dance class every Thursday. The cute girls down the street who considered you their favorite babysitter when they were tiny and you used to gossip with their mom after she’d come home from work. Your fiance’s only niece and the other cute girl in his life who takes him up on every offer for a piggy back ride and tea party. None of these girls are young enough to be the toddling and cute-but-clueless flower girl who walks down the aisle. But they’re also not old enough to be a bridesmaid who can do and afford all of the bridesmaid-y events. So, you have an epiphany and say to yourself, “Self! I know! [Insert Name Here] can be a JUNIOR BRIDESMAID!”

Genius idea, but what the blintzes does a junior bridesmaid even do?

Well, a junior bridesmaid is like a watered down version of an adult bridesmaid and a totally upgraded model of a flower girl. She’s cute and gets time to shine like a flower girl, but fits in more with the adult bridesmaids. Best of both worlds, right?

Usually, the over/under for the age of a junior bridesmaid is between 9 and 14. None of the traditions are requirements, but you can take what you need and make up your own rules about how to include your junior bridesmaid on your wedding day.

Because a junior bridesmaid is not, like, working for The Man, she probably has no income to throw you a shower. Unless your junior bridesmaid is Dakota Fanning. Wait, I think she’s older than 14 now. But you know what I mean. So, even though she won’t dish out cash to help sponsor the shower, she should be included by planning to attend and assist with bridal shower duties like set-up and clean-up, making favors, cooking and baking, helping with gifts, and other very important tasks.

You can even include your junior bridesmaid when you go wedding gown shopping. Now, you are not required to follow her opinions or let her pick out The Dress, but certainly she can be there as part of the experience. This is really more appropriate if your junior bridesmaid is a sister or a daughter, but it’s a nice and special way to include her. And she’ll love all the pretty dresses!

Speaking of dresses, she’ll get to wear a similar, if not the same, dress as the bridesmaids! Sometimes, brides select a dress for the junior bridesmaid that may be a bit longer in length or something with straps. It can be the same fabric and color as the adult bridesmaids, but if your gals are sporting a sexy dress, nothing says “tacky wedding” like allowing the junior bridesmaid to wear the identical frock. So, you know, good judgement yada yada yada.

She can also hold a smaller version of the adult bridesmaids’ bouquet. There’s always the corsage option, but that’s a little too prom for my personal taste. Most would agree.

When it comes to the wedding events, the junior bridesmaid will be at your rehearsal dinner like the rest of the bridal party and she can also hang with the ushers (what younger girl wouldn’t want to rub elbows with cool, older, cute guys in suits?) by also seating guests, handing out programs, or standing by the yarmulkes. She’ll definitely charm the old Jewish men that way.

Your junior bridesmaid can walk alone down the aisle, with another young man (junior groomsman?), or with another adult member of the wedding party. No rule here. It’s up to you and how symmetrical you are in your planning.

Just keep in mind — and this is a reminder because most of us have tried to forget — that your junior bridesmaid might be going through the, you know, change. Puberty. So, when it comes to picking out her look for day, be cognizant of the fact that she might be self-conscious or unable to pull off the style you have in mind. Remember when we were figuring it all out? Yeah, that’s probably what she’s going through right now. She might be brushing her curls… not something I ever did. No, no. I would have never done that because it causes really annoying frizzy hair, which makes awkward pubescent years even more traumatic. Sigh.

So, even though she may be a wee bit underage to join you for your bachelorette party at Guido’s Chippendales, your favorite younger gal pal can experience your bridal experience in a more G-rated fashion. She’ll be honored to be by your side as you say “I do” to your love, and maybe even learn a thing or to about how to be the coolest bride ever for when it’s her turn in 15-ish years.

Never Too Soon To Talk Honeymoon

Posted on February 11, 2013 by Alison in Featured, From the Expert, Honeymooning, Planning

You may as well pack your e-bags and put on your “Just Married” flip flops because we’re about to take you on a tour of honeymoon options and locations. No airline fees, no mini hotel shampoos, and no layovers to your final destination — just your computer, your excitement, and The Yentas! It’s exciting to bring on Runya Simon, a Honeymoon Planning Specialist who is was a recent-ish bride and and now mother to baby girl Brynn! You may remember her gorgeous day we featured in Real Weddings! Enjoy!

just-married-getaway-car

Wedding planning can be quite a megillah: so many florists to meet, so many cakes to taste, and many gorgeous gowns to try on! While you are over the moon with excitement and busy hashing out all the details, don’t forget that after you say “I do” and after you dance your little tushie off at your reception, you and your honey will get that much needed alone time and relaxation on your very own vacation made for two: your honeymoon!!

There are many ideas of the derivation of the term “honeymoon,” one of which can be found in the Merriam-Webster dictionary that dates back to 1546: “the idea that the first month of marriage is the sweetest,” and in Hebrew it translates to “yerach d’vash,” or honey month.

With iPhones, Blackberries, computers, and iPads sadly taking over our everyday lives, going on a honeymoon is not only a chance to take the much-awaited trip with your honey and escape work and life’s responsibilities, but it’s also a way to truly unplug from the hustle and bustle and focus on your new life together as husband and wife. It’s also pretty awesome to bask in the glory with all the travel perks that come along with being newlyweds!

Couples always ask me when they should plan and book their “moon” and my answer is always right away. The ring is on your finger, the date and venue have been booked, so start thinking about the type of trip you want to take and when. Most traditional honeymoon locations book up and you want to stay ahead of the game and make sure you get exactly what you are looking for! Depending on the departure date of your honeymoon, be sure to prepare as best you can for the upcoming trip.

This is not just any old vacation; you have many things on your mind and wedding plans that are coming to fruition. So make yourself a checklist and ask these simple questions: Is my passport up to date? Do I need travel shots? Do I have the right wardrobe? Should I pack before or after the wedding? Should I wear my sparkler of a ring, or play it safe with a simple band? Your honeymoon planning should be totally stress-free, so don’t wait until the last minute to plan. Pamper yourself and use an expert honeymoon travel agent, such as myself, to help you with every detail to make this the dreamiest “moon” that’s all about you: the happy couple!

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Honeymoons have evolved over the years and I am here to tell you that it’s 100% acceptable to break the mold! Your “moon” should be special and specific to whatever you want it to be. There are no rules that apply! Traditionally, the couple leaves on their honeymoon the following day or two after the wedding, but this is not necessarily the case anymore. Couples are now carefully taking into consideration where they want to go, what they want out of their “moon” (besides just alone time, wink wink), and what time of year they want to make this sweet trip! Depending on the locale that you choose, you may need to wait a few month. Let’s be honest: if you get married in December/January and your dream honeymoon is a trip to Alaska, it’s probably not the best time to visit the land of glaciers and salmon. Likewise, if your wedding is planned for July and you love the idea of visiting Australia, you probably have forgotten that it’s mid-winter there! It’s okay to wait. You have waited so long to find your soul mate, and have patiently waited for your turn down the aisle, so it’s all right to take your time and plan your perfect honeymoon!

Your honeymoon doesn’t have to be completely paid for out of your own pocket either! Register for memories that will last a lifetime with a honeymoon registry! This is a popular option for couples that would like to add experiences to their gift list: great as a stand-alone registry or to complement a traditional one. A honeymoon registry lets you create a unique gift list of all the parts of your dream vacation, such as the fantasy suite you’ve had your eye on, relaxing massages, romantic dinners, and exciting excursions.

It works perfectly whether or not you know exactly where you want to go because the gifts are virtual and you receive the cash to use when you’re ready, however you like. Deposit a Gift is a perfect option for a honeymoon registry because of how user-friendly it is it is for you and guests: they offer pre-made lists for easy set-up (look for the blue ‘Rapid Registry’ button!), accept credit cards, and even offer a customer service number in case granny gets fermished.

Here’s how it works:

Users make gift registries just like people do with a traditional store registry, using a database of images or by clicking on a pre-made list.
Guests choose a gift to purchase, finding the right price point for their budget. They are not actually buying the present, but it feels more personal than sending a check. The money gets deposited into the recipient’s Deposit a Gift account.
When users are ready to spend the money, they cash-out in the form of check, VISA gift card or direct deposit.

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My husband and I got married in the month of March, yet we dreamed of a Greek/Mediterranean honeymoon, but we soon found that our “moon” would have to wait until June in order to have optimal weather and other tourism factors, so three months later, still newlyweds, we embarked on a wonderful Mediterranean Cruise adventure which we will never forget. Two days after the wedding we were lucky enough to escape to Maui for just a few relaxing days in paradise to unwind and enjoy our “Just Married” status (Brides, I know you want to wear your Mrs. ____ Juicy track suit on the plane!). If you choose this postponed honeymoon, you can always get away for a night, use air miles to go somewhere not too far from home, or drive to some romantic location for a few nights, all while your official honeymoon awaits you! If you are a traditionalist and must go on your honeymoon the day or two following your wedding — you go girl (and guy)! When and where you plan to celebrate the sweetness of your new nuptials doesn’t matter as long as you’re both happy. Whether it’s on a white sandy beach in paradise, or amongs lions and tigers on an African safari, you will be snuggled close with your beshert!

Honeymooning with your honey will be the icing on the cake, the cat’s meow and the bee’s knees! Saying “I do” is just the start to the many adventures you will have together, so don’t let your honeymoon be just an afterthought! This trip marks the newlywed phase of marriage and should you have a little too much fun “honeymooning,” you will soon need to book a Babymoon — but that is a whole other type of trip that we can discuss when the time is right!

Mazel tov and happy travels!

Runya Simon is a Honeymoon and Wedding Travel Specialist. Just like a wedding coordinator helps your wedding dreams come true, she assists you with every step of planning and booking the “moon” of your dreams. Runya is based in Los Angeles, but can help jet-setting brides and grooms everywhere. Her vast knowledge and passion for travel make her your ideal honeymoon coordinator. You can email her with questions and reservations at runya.simon@gmail.com. Runya is looking forward to hearing from you! Enjoy the rest of your planning!

How To Communicate With Your Bridesmaids

Posted on January 31, 2013 by Alison in From The Yentas, Planning

Your bridesmaids are like a potpourri of your life connections. Your collection of gals might consist of a family member, high school friends, and sorority sisters. Or maybe the girls from your college cheerleading squad make up your bridal party, but they’re scattered around the country, leading their different post-graduate lives. It’s very probable that the contact you have with your bridesmaids is via GChat during the work day and on the phone during your commute home in the evenings. Texting gets you quick fixes of inside jokes and updates, and your refrigerator serves as an exhibit of all the various things going on in everyones’ lives with birth announcements, bridal shower invitations, “We’re Moving” notifications, and wedding stationery attached to the door with magnets. Today’s bride rarely has in-person access to all or most of her bridesmaids and though it may seem tedious or complicated getting everyone acquainted and on the same page, it’s actually no big deal.

How do the bridesmaids know each other if everyone can’t be together? Well, introduce them! Send out an email to all the girls and do a mini orientation by listing their names and contact information. Give some context and explain how you know them. This breaks the ice so it’s not awkward for them to interact behind your back while they plan surprises and fun events for you.

In fact, just steal this:

Hi Ladies!
I’m so excited that you’ll be part of my big day!! You are all very special to me and having you by my side as I get married to Channing Tatum (just making sure you’re still with me) makes the day even more special!

Because not everyone knows each other, I thought I’d introduce the hottest bridesmaids in the world to… the hottest bridesmaids in the world!

My Maid of Honor is ________. I know her from ____________. Her email is __________ and I’m sure she’ll be sending you more messages as the time goes on.

{here, list the rest of your girls, how you know them, and their conact info}.

Thank you for everything! I can’t wait to celebrate with you all!

Love,
Your Name

Okay, so once you’ve done the hello and how-do-you-dos, how else can you build your team of bridesmaids? You’ll have to decide on what they’ll be wearing. However, you can’t possibly cater to every girl’s taste and body. Work with your Maid of Honor to be the spearhead for this task. You want to please — it’s your tragic flaw — but it’s just not realistic to get everyone together and go shopping. Once the dresses have been selected, your Maid of Honor should instruct the bridesmaids to go to a professional tailor or dress shop to get measurements taken. Each bridesmaid should send their measurements to the Maid of Honor so she has them and can place the order with the shop that is selling the bridesmaid dresses. Your Maid of Honor needs to communicate the dress selection to the whole bridal party and the dresses really should be ordered all together so that dye lots are the same.

The bride should send out messages to the bridesmaid group about dates and costs of things with plenty of notice and several reminders afterward. It’s not that the girls are flaky or uncaring, but everyone is living their individual lives. You can’t expect that your girls will be on top of every date for your wedding events. So, just send some emails with updates about dates (rehearsal dinner, bridesmaid lunch, wedding day, day-after brunch, etc.) or with travel information once you know it. Especially if your girls are scattered around the country, you’ll want to give them inside scoop as you learn it about airfare, hotel reservations, transportation set ups, and any other travel-related pieces of information.

Make sure you give clear deadlines for bridesmaid things that have hard dates attached like dress order-by dates or RSVPs for a shower thrown by someone other than them. You can also delegate this to your MOH since you probably are too busy slash you don’t want to deal with harassing bridesmaids about these kinds of things. But that’s why choosing a MOH who’s on top of her game is super important!

Even if you’re a control freak, I don’t care — the bride does not plan her own parties like showers and bachelorettes! Just make sure to tell whoever is hosting a bridal shower that bridesmaids should be invited even if they’re not local or available. Because they’re part of your wedding inner-circle, they should be included in all events, though it is up to them if they can make them. You should make sure to communicate with them that it’s totally okay if they can’t make the shower or party. They should know they’re invited, but not pressured to travel.

As for the wedding weekend, you’ll need to set up clear communication with your bridesmaids about when everyone arrives in town so you can coordinate pick ups and car rides and hotel accommodations. You are not expected to pay for these things, but you should manage the bridesmaid reunion for your wedding weekend events. Emails with reply-all settings will help everyone stay on the same page.

Enjoy this special time with your favorite ladies. You picked them for a reason, so now is the time to enjoy your unique relationship with each bridesmaid. From sorority socials to high school football games to summer camp Shabbats, you have hundreds of memories combined with this group. Get excited to form many more for your big day!

Heidi Ryder Photography

Attacking The Cocktail Hour

Posted on January 16, 2013 by Alison in Ask The Yentas, Inside Scoop, Planning, Witty

2012 was definitely the year of love, as my husband and I attended five weddings from August to December! By now, we feel we have memorized the general wedding ceremony and have mastered the art of leaving a guestbook message. Three of those weddings were Jewish weddings, so we definitely got our fair share of Horah time, and if I don’t do another grapevine for a couple more months, my feet (in heels!) will be OK.

No, really, weddings are fun, and we are lucky that members of our circle of friends and family are tying the knot and joining the Marrieds Club.

All this wedding-guesting, though, has gotten my husband quite a reputation as the Cocktail Hour Stalker. It sounds creepier than it is. What this means is that his favorite time of the whole Wedding Olympics is that glorious hour between the “I do” and the dancing: Cocktail Hour, AKA sixty minutes of miniature food items being passed around on trays, like a real life episode of Downton Abbey.

By the fifth wedding of the year in Chicago, our friends at the wedding checked in with my husband to make sure he was OK. Not because he’d fallen on aisle treatments. Not because he drank too much during the toasts. But to make sure he’d had enough of those coveted mac and cheese cups, or tomato soup shots and mini grilled cheese sandwiches duets, or beef satay wraps. Apparently, his consumption and approval of the hors d’oeuvre were a front-and-center concern.

Floataway Studio

Cocktail houring is basically an artform. If you have upcoming weddings on your calendar, here are some ways to enjoy this foodtastic time, as demonstrated by Husband Yenta (Yento?):

There’s the obvious Stand At The Kitchen Exit method. After the ceremony, find the space between the exit and the kitchen. Make like a lion in the Serengeti and lie in wait. When the unsuspecting cocktail hour server appears with tray in hand, pounce.
However, the above tactic won’t work if the servers get smart to your method. At the last wedding we went to, the servers sprinted out of the kitchen avoiding the area where people congregated to get their paws on the grub. In that case, head toward the back of the room. Servers will also tend to cover this section to accommodate some more sedentary guests, like older folks. I’m NOT condoning you steal appetizers out of the hands of senior citizens. I’m merely advising an additional location for prosperous appetizer consumption.
Split up. Make alliances. This is serious business. Partner up with your wedding date or another friend in case the servers are onto your shenanigans. Each of you can take turns picking up appetizers and sharing them. Maybe you are on chicken skewer duty while your partner is in charge of bruschetta. Divide and conquer.
Make friends with the servers. One of the servers at a 2012 wedding was a bit of a cranky pants. Every time we’d try to take an appetizer from her tray, she’d run away. She even began to appear from the kitchen with NAPKINS ON TOP OF THE FOOD to HIDE it from US. She was on a mission to keep food out of our hungry bellies. So instead, we found a young, cute, not-a-sour-puss server and told him that Scowly Face over there wasn’t stopping for us and could he help a sista out? His perfectly Crest-whitened teeth sparkled and I swore I heard a “ding!” when he smiled. Sure enough, all the mac-and-cheese cups were ours to enjoy for eternity… if the cocktail hour had gone on that long. Besties for life, yo.
If all else fails, drink. It IS cocktail hour after all.

Giving Out Love to Your Out of Towners

Posted on January 14, 2013 by Alison in Planning, Uncategorized

Wedding guests who are coming from out of town must really love you! No, really, this isn’t meant to be a guilt trip, but people who take the time and spend the money to travel to be at your wedding are people who hold you near and dear to their heart. So it’s truly an honor when out-of-town guests RSVP “yes!” to your wedding and Yentas etiquette recommends you do your best to make them feel at home and accommodated while they’re visiting you on your home turf.

You want to make their stay an enjoyable and memorable experience. Group rates on hotel rooms help them make the most of their wedding travel buck. It’s easy to do: Call two to three hotels, tell them you’re expecting a ballpark figure of wedding guests, and negotiate a group rate for a block of rooms. For your own sanity — and bank account — make sure the hotel doesn’t require you to pay a minimum. Some will, some won’t. Depends on the property. Just be aware that this is policy from time-to-time and you should be fine. Once you’ve secured your room rates, send advance notice to your out-of-town guests to let them know their options and rates. Include addresses of the hotels and approximate distances from the wedding-related events they would be invited to attend. Usually there’s a hotel deadline to reserve a room at the provided rate, so don’t forget to include the book-by date as well so guests don’t miss out and blame you!

You may want to provide welcome bags to your out-of-town guests. This is not a requirement, but it is a nice gesture and a popular wedding trend. The welcome bag can include basics like water, some snacks, an extra invitation or a print-out of the dates, times, and locations of wedding-related events, a list of things to do in the area, and maybe even a novelty item. The last wedding I went to was in Chicago and I loved how the couple included iconic Chicago items in the bags: packs of Wrigley gum, Garrett’s popcorn, and yummy potato chips made by a local company. Including a thank you note for coming shows your out-of-towners that you appreciate the extra effort and expense it took to travel to your wedding.

For your reference, use this checklist to help you organize and plan for your out-of-town guests:

Hotel

Reserve a block of rooms
Confirm reservations

Transportation

Set up shuttle service to the ceremony
Set up shuttle service to the reception
Set up shuttle service to the hotel(s)
Set up shuttle service to the planned events

Meals

Plan a pre-wedding dinner (Shabbat dinner, rehearsal dinner, welcome cocktail hour)
Plan a post-wedding brunch

Information

Supply directions to the hotel, ceremony, and reception
Supply maps of the local area
Supply brochures of attractions in the area
Mail information to guests prior to their departure
Supply hotel with the information

Welcome Gifts

Prepare welcome bags
Prepare welcome letters
Prepare schedule of events
Deliver welcome gifts to the hotel(s) to be handed out at guests’ check-in

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