Category Archives: Planning

Five days before Rosh Hashanah, Yenta Husband Bryan realized he needed a new suit for the holidays. It seems as though pregnancy had added a few extra pounds to both of us (but he’ll lose it fast! Oy! Men!), so we took a trip to Men’s Wearhouse to purchase a new get-up that would be appropriate for the High Holy Days as well as future dressy events like weddings, of course!

We were super impressed with the Men’s Wearhouse outfitters and the selection in store that was ready to wear. My husband is pretty traditional when it comes to suits. Tim Gunn would probably be bored by his taste. And I have a hard enough time picking out which socks to wear on a day-to-day basis, so I’m definitely no expert in the men’s suits department. We both learned a lot about current styles for young men. Ladies, if your groom is clueless about suiting up for the wedding day, here are some things you both should know if you’re going for a classic, modern look.

Eye on Ties
To the untrained eye, ties may all look the same, but since you and your honey are about to tie the knot, it’s only appropriate that he decides exactly how he wants to tie the knot — the tie’s knot!

The size of the knot should increase as space between collar points increases, so the groom should keep this in mind as he decides how he is going to wear the tie. There are three main styles to wear the tie, each with a different level of formality.

The Windsor Knot
The most traditional knot is called the Windsor knot. This style, which is named after the Duke of Windsor looks best for the businessman in a professional environment, but can also be an option for a less formal wedding. The Windsor knot has a triangular knot that’s most appropriate for wide-spread dress shirt collars.

The Half Windsor
The half Windsor piggybacks on the general Windsor look, but has a small triangular knot. Therefore, consider wearing the half Windsor with a dress shirt that has a more regular spread collar. Formal to business casual are good looks for the half Windsor.

The Four-In-Hand
For a quick-to-tie look, this knot is smaller and narrower and looks great for a modern and fashion-forward man who likes to keep up with the most current trends. A narrow collar opening works for this knot and can be anywhere in the range of casual to modern formal.

It’s A Shoe In
When it’s time to step on that glass, you want to make sure that the groom’s footwear is as exciting as the big fat “mazel tov!” that will come from your guests.

Typically, when we think of footwear for formal attire, we think of patent leather shoes. Patent leather is the standard style for tuxedos. These shoes are usually plain toe, lace-ups that look appropriate with a tux.

If patent leather is a little too fancy shmancy for the groom, it’s easy to decrease the formality of the look with a sleek shoe that’s not as shiny.

No matter what, though, dress shoes for a formal wedding should be black, have a plain toe design (which means no wingtips, split-toe, or cap-toe styles), and be able to be shined with high gloss.

The “It” Jacket
Tuxedo jackets aren’t much different than a regular suit jacket when it comes to general fit. First, decide on a single or double-breasted look, and then choose the style of the lapel. Usually the lapel is made out of satin which guarantees a formal and traditional look.

Typically, the lapels are notch or peak styles, but there’s also the classic shawl collar which doesn’t have any notches at all and rounds from the shoulders to the bottom of the chest. A super formal wedding might call for coat with tails or a cutaway, but this isn’t as common and we don’t see a lot of these styles at modern Jewish weddings. However, you as a couple must decide what works for you! You two make the rules!

Rent or Buy?
It may take a toll on a wallet, but if there are a lot of upcoming formal events that would require a tuxedo, it’s usually more economical to buy a tuxedo. Typically, buying a tuxedo saves money in the long run — same reason we buy in bulk, right? — and it’s always nice to know that there’s something tailored and ready to go hanging in the closet for each occasion to come.

Arranging rentals for the wedding party is easy! Visit Men’s Wearhouse or your local tuxedo shop to pick out favorite styles for the VIP guys of your wedding. You’ll want to decide if you want the look to include vests, suspenders, cufflinks, bow ties or long ties, shoes, and the pattern on the pants and coat. Have your groomsmen send you their sizes to liaise with the rental vendor who will reserve the tuxedos for pick up before the wedding. Remind the guys to try them on before leaving the shop to be sure everything fits, but they shouldn’t have to do much work beyond that. Easy!

Ever received something like this?

The day, the dress
The bride, the groom
The joy, the tears
Will all come so soon

Will you be my bridesmaid?

Ah, yes, the infamous poem that propositions your girlfriends to buy a dress, throw you a shower, and party in your honor as you take the steps to go from Miss to Mrs. And because your ladies are your favorite posse members ever, you want to shower them in gifts of appreciation to be paired, in a cutesy way, with your bridesmaid poem, right?

Jewelry, t-shirts, and tote bags may have crossed your mind as desirable gifts, but guess what? They’ve crossed the mind of every bride who’s wanted to say “thank you” via presents. So do something different! Think unique!

Jewelry is probably the go-to bridesmaid gift, but instead of buying your girls identical shmaltzy necklaces to wear on the day of your wedding (and probably never again), make the bling come from the heart. They’re your best friends, these girls, right? So give them something they’d like best; something that is special — like they are! — and represents why you’ve chosen them to stand next to you beside the chuppah. For the gal who loves delicate dainty pieces, go with a simple charm or symbolic pendant. A bridesmaid who like to make a statement may be the perfect recipient of a bold and chunky string of baubles. Shop etsy and use keywords to narrow in on your search for each girl. There are tons of options and you’ll shop for them in the comfort of your home. Either way, showing your appreciation means knowing your gal pals, so personalizing their jewelry will leave a lasting impression of your gratitude.

Gift baskets can be perfectly customized with trinkets and tokens that each individual bridesmaid would enjoy. If your best friend has an obsession with Tootsie Rolls, champagne, and bird jewelry, toss it all together and create a thank you pack that speaks to her. But for the girl who likes gnawing on jawbreakers, throwing back a beer, and 80s movies, you can create a completely different basket that she’ll enjoy. Take the time to know your girls and coordinate a gift that represents her as an individual or an aspect of your friendship’s history. Gift baskets look great to give and receive and a collection of fabulous, little things is more exciting than one just-okay thing.

Lots of brides do t-shirts or tanks that say the name of the bridesmaid along with other wedding-ish information like the date and the name of the couple. Well, this may or may not be news to you, but it’s highly unlikely that the bridesmaid will wear that piece of clothing again. It may be cute on the big day, but save yourself some bucks and personalize items that can actually be used again by the bridesmaid. Consider items like makeup bags, mirrored compacts, totes, reusable water bottles, and even keychains (check out Lea Joelle Handmade Hamsas for artistic and customizable pieces). These are just a few ideas, but ordering something nice and personalizing it that will work for future use will mean a lot morebthan a cheapy flask made out of tarnishing fake silver.

Photo collages were popular in college. Your freshman year dorm room was probably filled with mashups of old high school photos from prom, rallies, and football games. So what’s the grown up version of teenage collages? Photo books! Coffee table books that are professionally bound make great gifts. Gather up your digital images of you and each bridesmaid and make a book that offers not only appreciation, but a level of sentimentality that will be cherished for ages. Sites like Shutterfly or MyPublisher make great photo books.

No matter which path you choose for your bridesmaids’ gifts, just be sure you give them sincerely. Have fun with this creative process of wedding planning that’s not about inanimate objects like table linens or aisle runners, but about your friendships with your inner circle of women.

If you are newly engaged, welcome to The Wedding Yentas! We wish you a hearty mazel tov and hope we can help you with all your Jewish wedding planning needs!

One of the many engagement milestones is a photo shoot, typically with your wedding photographer, that happens at some point before you actually tie the knot. This photo shoot is helpful for both of you: the couple and your hired photographer. You may think you’re comfortable behind a camera, but remember, every photographer has a different style and method, so taking engagement photos gives you and your betrothed a sneak peak into what you can expect from your photographer on the big day. Also, your photographer will learn about how to photograph you. Let’s face it, everyone is different — different angles, features, bodies, comfort levels — and this shoot will also allow your photographer to get a feel for what methods work for capturing you at your best. Plus, whatever, it’s fun.

These shoots are usually included in most photographers’ wedding packages when you book and it’s a good idea to put some thought into personalizing this kind of session. Make sure to ask if your wedding day reservation also includes an engagement shoot and then ask if you receive a DVD of the photos. Many couples like to incorporate their engagement shots in save the dates, escort cards, table numbers, guestbooks, or sign-in boards.

So, let’s fast forward: You’ve confirmed that your photographer does indeed shoot engagement photos and you’re amped to get started. What do you need to know?

• Pick a date! Go with a date that doesn’t cause you to rush, so make sure your schedule is clear. Also, consider weather and how that plays into your shoot. If you know you want to wear cute, summery dresses, it’s probably not best to book a date in February. Make sure to think about where you want to shoot and how the date will affect your location as well. Some places are closed on the weekends. Check before!
• Speaking of places, you can shoot your engagement photos anywhere, but maybe think of a location that’s special to you and your partner. We’ve seen engagement photos in the ballparks of the couple’s favorite baseball team! Perhaps you and your fiance are alum of the same university or met through Hillel at college; you might want to walk around campus and take photos at your favorite spots. Maybe you’re into cycling and the outdoors; we’ve seen adorable photos of couples hiking or on bikes by the beach. Think about colorful locations like piers or carnivals. The park usually has great color and open space as well. The possibilities are endless and we encourage you to think outside the box.
• Confirm with your photographer what colors or patterns work on camera. Some may say no busy prints or white colors depending on their style and post-processing methods. This is important because you want to be sure that what you wear will be appropriately represented in your finished product. You also may be able to have two or three different looks in your shoot. This is something else you should confirm with your photographer. If you do have multiple looks, make sure you find a variety of outfits to wear. It’s fun to see engagement photos that feature the couple in casual and formal wear.
• Be yourself! Don’t try to mimic your favorite model or celebrity. You’ll probably just end up looking silly (um, been there, done that). Instead, just smile and have fun! If you’re actually, really, truly having fun, your photos will look like that you are actually, really, truly having fun! Forcing poses or pouty lips doesn’t work. If you and your partner have fun acting goofy together, then let out your inner silly. If you’re more on the shy side and not really wild and crazy, that’s okay, too! Just be your usual in-love selves and the goodness will pour through the photos!

Photos by Marianne Wilson