Category Archives: Planning

Engage In A Party!

Posted on January 26, 2011 by Alison in Inside Scoop, Planning

You’re engaged! Time to celebrate!

Most couples enjoy an engagement party to honor the upcoming nuptials sometime in the first few months of the popped — and accepted! — question. But what happens when it’s actually time to start planning an engagement party? What are some key points to think about and how the feezy does it differ from planning the actual wedding? Yentas, as usual, are here to help!

When should I have my engagement party?
Plan on celebrating your engagement soon after that ring is slipped on your finger. The exact timing, though, is all relative compared to your approximate wedding date. Ideally, you want to space out your engagement party from your wedding so that there isn’t too much of you two. With all due respect, as awesome as you and your partner are, an engagement party in one month and a wedding two months later is just a little… much. Most engagements are about a year to 18 months long. Consider holding the engagement party about a year from the wedding, if possible. If you haven’t solidified your wedding date yet, that’s okay. It’s likely you have a month, or at least the season, in mind. Start there and work about a year back. That said, you don’t need to have an engagement party before you can even finish answering yes to become a Mrs. It’s okay to go ahead and enjoy your new title as fiance before diving into engagement party plans. Take a couple months to soak it in, stare at your ring, share the news, stare at your ring, daydream about your dress, stare at your ring, and make a guest list.

Oh yeah, so regarding the guest list, who do we invite to the engagement party?
The absolute #1 rule of your engagement party: whoever you invite to the E-Party, must also be invited to the wedding. That means you better be sure that the engagement party peeps are going to be sticking around in your life for a long enough time that a year later, you’ll still be close and want them at your most special event. Really, though, if you invite all the people to your engagement party who are also invited to your wedding, you may as well have your rabbi and a chuppah on hand and just tie the knot at the engagement party! We suggest you keep your engagement party smaller than your wedding day. The stress, expense, and build-up to the wedding day does not need to be duplicated. Therefore, send invitations to your immediate family, bridal party, and close friends. Most likely, you’ll only want to invite 30 to 40% of your wedding guest list. Keeping it intimate, yet festive, is the way to go.

What kind of venue works for hosting an engagement party?
As long as you have an open space that allows for schmoozing, you can hold your engagement party anywhere. Parties can be at private homes, restaurants, country clubs, or even parks. Just make sure you have a private area so that you can enjoy conversation and kibbitzing.

What about decor and entertainment? How far do I go there?
Remember, you don’t want to give away all your goods at your engagement party. If you go to the same extent as your wedding, you’ll have no surprises up your sleeve for the day that truly matters! So, decor can be simple flowers or candles. You could probably take on the craft of arranging flowers yourself in Mason jars or vases. Candles on tables and open areas add a dramatic and beautiful look, while keeping costs and resources down. You can also reuse the candles on your wedding day if they’re not burnt too far down. As for entertainment, a mix or Pandora station that fits your party theme can absolutely suffice for entertainment. Since typically there is no dancing at an engagement party, mood and ambiance music is what counts. Save your bucks for the live music at your wedding reception. If you really want an element of live music, enlist a friend or college music major play some acoustic guitar or keyboard to set a more formal engagement party mood.

If I’m throwing the party at home, should I hire a catering company or just serve chips and salsa?
We think coordinating something in between a sit-down dinner and a cheese plate is probably acceptable. Depending on your budget and party space, heavy appetizers or a buffet can be acceptable and common offering for munchies. Pick a theme — Mexican, Italian, gourmet salads, BBQ — and run with it. Tray passed appetizers or a few tables with heated servers will suffice. You can even choose to do a desserts-only party and offer a slew of sweets from a cake to cookies and in between. Anything beyond that is, no pun intended, gravy. And as for booze, it’s up to you! You can hire a bar service or set up a cooler, but you can range from just wine and beer to heavier drinks. Either way, you’ve got to have a champagne toast!

So get your invitations ready (and, speaking of which, for more casual affairs like engagement parties, it’s acceptable to send online invitations or snail mail invitations), pick out a cute dress, and get ready to pose for the camera and show off your new bling! Your engagement party is a wonderful “first” during your wedding-planning experience. It’s like the opening ceremonies to the start of your wedding Olympics, sans any competitions because, after all, you already scored the gold when you found your love!

The photos above are from Anna and Sam’s engagement party brunch in Santa Monica, California. They worked hard to create an intimate party with personal touches including family wedding photos, speeches and gifts to their parents, and Mason jar floral arrangements that reminded Anna of her childhood.

Mazel tov, Anna and Sam, and may you have a wonderful wedding-planning experience!

Photos courtesy of Iconica Photography, Peter Garabetian
Venue: La Vecchia Cucina — Santa Monica, CA

Engagement Photos 101

Posted on January 24, 2011 by Alison in Planning, Real Jewish Weddings

If you are newly engaged, welcome to The Wedding Yentas! We wish you a hearty mazel tov and hope we can help you with all your Jewish wedding planning needs!

One of the many engagement milestones is a photo shoot, typically with your wedding photographer, that happens at some point before you actually tie the knot. This photo shoot is helpful for both of you: the couple and your hired photographer. You may think you’re comfortable behind a camera, but remember, every photographer has a different style and method, so taking engagement photos gives you and your betrothed a sneak peak into what you can expect from your photographer on the big day. Also, your photographer will learn about how to photograph you. Let’s face it, everyone is different — different angles, features, bodies, comfort levels — and this shoot will also allow your photographer to get a feel for what methods work for capturing you at your best. Plus, whatever, it’s fun.

These shoots are usually included in most photographers’ wedding packages when you book and it’s a good idea to put some thought into personalizing this kind of session. Make sure to ask if your wedding day reservation also includes an engagement shoot and then ask if you receive a DVD of the photos. Many couples like to incorporate their engagement shots in save the dates, escort cards, table numbers, guestbooks, or sign-in boards.

So, let’s fast forward: You’ve confirmed that your photographer does indeed shoot engagement photos and you’re amped to get started. What do you need to know?

Pick a date! Go with a date that doesn’t cause you to rush, so make sure your schedule is clear. Also, consider weather and how that plays into your shoot. If you know you want to wear cute, summery dresses, it’s probably not best to book a date in February. Make sure to think about where you want to shoot and how the date will affect your location as well. Some places are closed on the weekends. Check before!
Speaking of places, you can shoot your engagement photos anywhere, but maybe think of a location that’s special to you and your partner. We’ve seen engagement photos in the ballparks of the couple’s favorite baseball team! Perhaps you and your fiance are alum of the same university or met through Hillel at college; you might want to walk around campus and take photos at your favorite spots. Maybe you’re into cycling and the outdoors; we’ve seen adorable photos of couples hiking or on bikes by the beach. Think about colorful locations like piers or carnivals. The park usually has great color and open space as well. The possibilities are endless and we encourage you to think outside the box.
Confirm with your photographer what colors or patterns work on camera. Some may say no busy prints or white colors depending on their style and post-processing methods. This is important because you want to be sure that what you wear will be appropriately represented in your finished product. You also may be able to have two or three different looks in your shoot. This is something else you should confirm with your photographer. If you do have multiple looks, make sure you find a variety of outfits to wear. It’s fun to see engagement photos that feature the couple in casual and formal wear.
Be yourself! Don’t try to mimic your favorite model or celebrity. You’ll probably just end up looking silly (um, been there, done that). Instead, just smile and have fun! If you’re actually, really, truly having fun, your photos will look like that you are actually, really, truly having fun! Forcing poses or pouty lips doesn’t work. If you and your partner have fun acting goofy together, then let out your inner silly. If you’re more on the shy side and not really wild and crazy, that’s okay, too! Just be your usual in-love selves and the goodness will pour through the photos!

Tomorrow, we’ll be featuring a wonderful engagement shoot that showcases an adorable couple who followed our guidelines exactly! We can’t wait to show you! In the meantime, start considering our tips and let the fun begin!

For the Love of Pearl!

Posted on January 17, 2011 by Alison in Inside Scoop, Planning

When it comes to wedding day jewelry, you have many options based on your dress, the formality of your wedding, and your own personal style. But one thing’s for certain: the pearl necklace is a timeless, classic piece that screams Bridal with a capital B!

Hey, if you don’t dig the pearls, that is a-okay. We’re just saying, if you aren’t sure if you want to date your wedding with a trendy piece, or you’re not sure what will go with your entire wedding day look, you can be safe with a strand of pearls. Either buy them yourself, borrow your mom’s, or wait for a gift from the groom (HINT! HINT!). The good news about pearls is that despite their traditional and classic look, they still have a degree of varied styles. Check out some ideas for you to don on the big day!

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A Toon for You Two

Posted on January 12, 2011 by Alison in Featured, Planning

During your wedding planning and even after, you’ll be writing thank you notes or sending messages to friends and family. Send a note on special, personalized paper that will really impress its recipients. Sure, you can pick out your favorite font or design a monogram, ordering through a mass-producing paper printer, but it doesn’t quite make the same statement as cartooning yourself!

Yes, you read that right. Here’s your chance to really brand you and your partner as the Mr. and Mrs. to be adored! Miracards has a variety of designs and can even custom-illustrate your cartoon generated from a photo to really leave your mark on all of your snail mail correspondence. These cartoons are whimsical illustrations with a Jewish spin on your personality as a couple!

These cards make an adorable thank you note for shower or wedding gifts! You might even send a personal message to your rabbi or cantor thanking them for their assistance and support on your wedding day. A message of appreciation and love to your parents would be lovely on this note card as well! The possibilities are endless and it’s an original and thoughtful way to write words of gratitude.

a-toon-for-you-two

Commemorate your anniversary or make this a gift for someone you know who’s celebrating another year of love. This artistic tile is a beautifully-created memento that pays tribute to the best day of your life. This would look fabulous on a wall or on a shelf for all to see. Artist Mira Scharf can custom-design the piece based on your information, style, or pre-created logo. A simple reminder of your love and life together should bring a smile to your face every time you pass by.

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Really woo your loved ones with a delicately-designed cartoon of you! Just by submitting a photo of you together as a couple, Mira can replicate your look in cartoon form for an adorable way to brand yourselves on wedding stationery, ceremony programs, and table numbers. You decide! This is a unique way that you can personalize your wedding paper ensembles and we’re sure it will leave your family and friends talking about it for years to come! You choose the photo, the words, and if you want it to include Hebrew text. This is all about you and Mira works with you to make sure you’re just as happy in real life as you look in your cartoon!

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In Memoriam

Posted on January 10, 2011 by Alison in Planning

Weddings are joyous, beautiful occasions. It’s a time when family gathers from all over the world to celebrate one of life’s big milestones. Nobody wants to feel sad on a wedding day, especially a bride or groom, but if you have lost a parent or grandparent that you’re close to, no doubt, a part of you is missing. Planning a wedding without your mother or father is hard enough, but knowing the right way to honor a parent without creating a black cloud on your wedding day is a bit tricky. So instead of a black cloud, Yenta Nicky helped see a ray of light on her wedding day.

When I was 18 my father passed away. He was my rock and support in everything I did. I am exactly like him in every possible way down to my curly hair, dimples, and stress levels! When I dreamed of my wedding as a little girl, my dreams always included my dad. But after he passed away, I became aware that my dreams would not also be my reality. A huge important part of me was missing and no matter what I did, my wedding would never be as it was supposed to be. It was still, however, one of the best days of my life, and while I wish more than anything that my dad could have been there to see it, I take comfort in knowing that he would have been proud. I honored him with little touches that only I knew were there and created external symbols of my dad for all the family that missed him.

When it comes down to it, there isn’t a right or wrong way to honor family members that are no longer with us, but I thought I’d share some simple ways you can incorporate anyone you would like to remember on your wedding day:

A photo frame hanging from your bouquet: Bouquet jewels are beautiful, and adding a little frame with a photo is such a sweet, personal touch. The bouquet charm is with you all day and you can always look down to see a familiar face, knowing that your family member is smiling back at you. In the event you want to keep your tribute private, it’s also something that doesn’t have to be announced, but you know it’s there for comfort.

Have a grandparent walk you down the aisle: My grandfather had four sons. He never got to walk any daughters down the aisle. I was so honored that he was able to walk me down to my chuppah in what would have been my dad’s footsteps, but it was also a very special moment for him that we got to share.

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A family dance: The age-old father/daughter-mother/son dance is probably the hardest wedding moment to think about if you’re missing a parent at your wedding. As most people know, I am also a professional wedding photographer, and I spend many of my weekends at weddings, celebrating with couples and capturing their best moments. During the reception, the father/daughter dance still brings me to tears. It is the hardest moment for me to photograph at any wedding because I think about my own experience and how it was different. But when it was time to plan my wedding, I did not want to take away the mother/son dance from my husband and his mother, so we decided on a family dance. He danced with his mom, I danced with his dad, then I danced with my grandfather and brother, and my husband danced with my mom. It was like musical chairs for family members, and ended up being touching and memorable for more special people in our lives.

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Incorporate elements that your parent loved: My dad loved the beach and swimming in the ocean, so I chose to get married overlooking the Pacific. I also named each of my tables for beaches in the Malibu and Santa Monica area. I collected sand dollars, which was my favorite shell to find with my dad when I was little, and we put them in frames along with the table names. If there’s a theme or a symbol that your parent loved, feel free to get creative and find ways to include them in your wedding.

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Play a slideshow during reception with family photos: Creating a slideshow that documents your life from when you were a baby through your wedding day is the perfect opportunity to show photos of your parent. Be prepared to choke up or see your guests touched by these memories, but there is nothing wrong with a few tears of happiness and sadness all rolled into one! After all, going through old photos is a healthy way to remember the good times even if it’s difficult.

It’s important to know that no one expects you to ignore the fact that you’re missing a parent from your wedding day. Merely ignoring that fact doesn’t make you Superwoman. It’s okay to show emotion if you’re an extroverted person, and it’s okay to honor them privately if that’s the way you work. There’s no right or wrong way to handle this kind of situation, but no matter what, you should remember that your wedding day is about you and your partner. Your life together. Your future. Glance back in the past because it’s what’s made you you, but look forward to the horizon and embrace the big moments.