Category Archives: Planning

All in the Family

Posted on August 4, 2010 by Alison in Inside Scoop, Jewish Traditions, Planning

Jewish weddings are open to including family and finding ways to honor those who are closest to you. You may want to pay tribute to certain members of your very own tribe, but perhaps you’re not sure how. Today the Yentas give you ideas that say “Thanks! Love ya!” to the ones who are most special to you.

What You Wear:
We’re giving a new, literal meaning to the term “close-knit family.” Why not include, if available, a piece of your mom’s dress or veil somewhere on your own bridal body. This could include sewing in some fabric to your own dress, making a garter out of the remnant, or pinning a piece to your bouquet. If your mom’s wedding wardrobe is yellowed or long gone, you could also wear some of her jewelry or hair clip. Many accessories are timeless and will still go with your overall look.

If you’d like to honor your father or someone else equally as important the same way, you could take fabric from one of his “that’s SO dad” neckties and use it as a hankie (you will probably tear up at least twice) or glue into the soles of your shoes. You could also include a small photo in your bouquet or wear a necklace with a locket pendant.

It’s nice to think that while you begin the rest of your life with your new husband, you also have those who were always your biggest cheerleaders with you for support and love during the big day.

Chuppah Love:
If you’re feeling crafty, you can recruit some of your favorite relatives to help you make your chuppah. If the chuppah is not a free-standing structure, another way to honor family members is to include them in your chuppah ceremony by selecting four people to hold the poles as you, your partner, and rabbi stand under it.

Every chuppah needs a canopy, so you can use a grandfather’s tallit or a grandmother’s table cloth. If there’s a special garment that has significant meaning to a particular family member, this is another great way to honor those you love the most.

Picture This:
Showcase a Photo Table at the reception. Perhaps your venue has a side table near the bar, or a fireplace mantle, or even a closed piano and create a scape of family wedding photos. Guests love to see the bride and groom’s parents on their wedding days because some of them were probably there, and also to gush at the resemblance the “kids” have to their parents. Seeing the classic black and white photos from 60-ish years ago of grandparents and, if you’re lucky to have them, photos of great-grandparents, is very special. If there are relatives who are deceased, this is also a wonderful way to honor them and give them a place at the wedding day.

Make the Most of a Toast:
Ask one or two people you absolutely love to make a toast. You’ll probably have toasts scheduled to be given by your best man and maid of honor, so you don’t want to take time away from your reception with a zillion toasts. However, it’s okay to include a couple more interspersed throughout the reception if you’d like to honor an extremely special person or two. Perhaps one can give a speech welcoming everyone to the reception. If there’s a singer in your family, a song counts, too! What you don’t want to do is water down your festive wedding with lots and lots of speeches. Guests who aren’t involved will become bored and this eats up your time with your band or DJ. So, double-dip where you can!

If you really want to enjoy more speeches, it’s okay to include these special people at your rehearsal dinner where, usually, you’ll enjoy a more casual atmosphere that’s concentrated with many family members.

Let’s Holla’ for the Challah:
Around the time that you’ll sit down for dinner, it’s traditional to say Ha-motzi over a challah. You can honor a family member with the recitation of the blessing before the kitchen slices up the delicious challah. The blessing can be tailored to the newlyweds’ measure of tradition, so this is something you may want to confirm with your rabbi or cantor.

Don’t forget to provide the name of the person you’re honoring to your emcee or DJ. When you go over the timeline of your reception with your coordinator or entertainment, make sure to tell them that you’d like to include this tradition and you’ll work together to decide when this takes place.

You can honor an additional family member with the mitzvah of creating a challah cover! Perhaps you have an aunt or a grandmother who knits or sews. Ask her to make the challah cover used during the Ha-motzi and she’ll be thrilled to be a part of your wedding in this way.

Just in case, the blessing is as follows:
Blessed are You, Lord, our God, King of the Universe who brings forth bread from the earth. (Amen)

and in Hebrew:
Barukh atah Adonai Elohaynu melekh ha-olam ha-motzi lechem min ha-aretz. (Amen)

The wedding day is a personal expression of you as a couple. It’s so nice to honor those who’ve supported you in your lives and in your couplehood. Don’t feel restricted by rules or regulations. Do what feels right and everything will be!

Woo ‘em With Your Shoes!

Posted on August 2, 2010 by Alison in Featured, Inside Scoop, Planning

When it comes to the big day, you’re probably focusing on the big things: your dress, your veil, your hair, your jewelry. But there’s one thing that you can’t snooze about: your shoes.

After you choose your wedding gown, it’s important to make sure you settle on and purchase what’s going on your feet. Soon, you’ll begin having regular fittings and the seamstress can’t make the appropriate alterations if your wedding day height isn’t solidified. I, Yenta Alison, typically stand at a Herculean sixty inches, and on my wedding day, I suddenly grew an additional 2.5 inches thanks to the glory of heels. My feet were comfortable and I didn’t have to break my neck to kiss my new husband under the chuppah who stands at over six feet tall. Win-win.

Your tootsies need to look great and should be comfortable, so picking out shoes is an important and thought-provoking task. When thinking about styles, consider if you’d like to use your shoes as a way to splash some color into your ensemble or if you want to stay classically bridal. Perhaps you’ll want to have twinkle toes, detailing with gems or beads. Peep toe, closed-toe, or sandal: all kinds of shoes that define your personal and wedding styles.

Also remember that your wedding day is a long day involving dancing, posing, standing, and, of course, that sweet stroll down the aisle. We bow down to you brave ladies who strap some 4-inchers on your feet, but for brides who are looking into more comfortable options or have low tolerance for high elevation, 1 or 2-inch heels are abundant in many styles, colors, and details.

We’ve seen brides enjoy their wedding days in ballet flats, bedazzled tennis shoes, and for that downhome country girl, cowboy boots! You really can’t go wrong. Express your soul with your soles.

Wedding Olympics: The Shabbat Event

Posted on July 26, 2010 by Alison in Jewish Traditions, Planning

I may have mentioned before that I refer to the wedding weekend as the Wedding Olympics. Instead of star athletes, there’s a star couple! There’s a lot of promotion that goes into it for months prior (the real Olympics has a theme song. Do you?). People travel to be there and set up camps in Wedding Olympics Village, otherwise known as “hotel blocks for the X wedding.” Nikes and leotards are traded in for tuxes and dresses, but there still seems to be a costume or uniform of sorts. Oh, and the bride and groom get a prize instead of medals, they get each other! And there are so many events!

The wedding weekend is a concentration of events that could start as early as the Thursday or Friday before a Sunday Jewish wedding. One of the Friday events is usually a Shabbat dinner hosted by a family member.

Since Shabbat, the Jewish Sabbath, begins on Friday night at sundown, traditionally, this is a time spent at home with family and those who feel like family as everyone gathers over a delicious meal, sprinkled with laughter, warm discussions, and in-house recreation that shies away from impersonal distractions like television and video games.

Check out the Ivory Dove Candlesticks for your Shabbat dinner at ModernTribe! Image courtesy of ModernTribe

Including out-of-town guests, immediate family members, and available bridal partiers is a great way to marry (ha ha) the Shabbat tradition with the simcha of the wedding. This event can set the tone of your weekend. Plus, it’s never too early to start spreading warm, fuzzy joy.

About a week or so after the formal wedding invitations go out, you may send your Shabbat dinner invitations to the selected guests. It’s up to you how many people you want to include. It’s not expected that you coordinate a pre-wedding wedding! Typically, your Shabbat dinner will be smaller than your wedding guest list and it’s perfectly acceptable. Take into consideration, that Friday or Saturday may be travel days for some out of town guests, so it’s likely your attendance won’t be 100% anyway.

Check out these fun and colorful Shabbat candles on ModernTribe! Image courtesy of ModernTribe.

Obviously, before you can send invitations for the Shabbat dinner, you need to secure a location. This can be someone’s house who is generous enough to host. Shabbat dinners can also be planned at a synagogue’s reception hall, JCC, or even at a restaurant in a private room. We’ve heard of some couples paying tribute to a meaningful place by enjoying Shabbat dinner at their university’s Hillel center if they are both alumni of the same school and are local. Basically, there is no rule for the location.

Menu items can vary, but traditional Shabbat dinner usually include roasted chicken, brisket, noodle kugel, soup, and vegetable dishes. There is no rule that these foods have to be part of the Shabbat dinner spread; this is just what I’ve seen at Shabbat dinners that I’ve attended and hey, they were a hit! If you’re having a Southern wedding, by all means, have a BBQ and serve cobbler for dessert! Do what’s personal and traditional for you, the couple!

The Modern Jewish Mom's Guide to Shabbat is a great read for anyone! Image courtesy of ModernTribe.

There are some items that you will definitely want to have at your Shabbat dinner.

Here’s a checklist:
Challah
Kosher wine
Kiddush cups
Candles
Candlesticks
Matches
Pitcher of water and bowl for hand washing
Nice tablecloths
The best dishes and silverware
Wine glasses
Kipot
Booklets with songs and birkat ha-mazon (blessings after a meal)

Having a Shabbat dinner during your wedding weekend will also give you a chance to spend time with people you may not get to see much on the big day. The wedding day has its own set of events, so setting aside an extra festive day to honor family, friends, your partner, and Judaism is typically welcome.

If there’s one thing I learned every summer at Jewish sleep-away camp, it’s that Shabbat is separate from the rest of the week. On Saturday night, when Shabbat is over and the first three stars appear in the sky, a new week begins and another chance to experience life to its fullest is in your hands. The wedding day is also the start of a new life with your partner so welcoming the Sabbath Bride a couple days before you are the bride will be special and forever memorable.

Don’t Go to Jail for a Crime Against Your Veil

Posted on July 14, 2010 by Alison in Inside Scoop, Jewish Traditions, Planning

On Monday, we talked about the bedeken and the symbolism behind the bride’s veil.

So now we are dedicating a whole other post to veils, making mention of tips, styles, and photo must-haves!

Camo is a No No
If you choose to wear a detailed wedding gown that sparkles with beading or has serious texture like lace, consider wearing a veil that doesn’t clash or hide those elements. What a shame it would be to select your dream dress and then cover it up with a veil that hides jewels or fancy buttons. An elbow-length veil will still serve its purpose but then also not upstage your dress.

Caw! Caw! Wear a Birdcage
For serious drama or a vintage look, the birdcage veil is a classic. If you want a more traditional veil for your ceremony, you could always model a birdcage piece for photos or the reception. It’s a super-chic look that many brides love, but think they can’t pull off!! Just make sure your dress is in the same category of style. A very full and conservative gown might not mesh (haha, get it?) well with a birdcage veil, so go with a dress that’s sleek or sexy or vintage.

Image courtesy of Holladay Photo

Can’t We All Just Get Along?
Don’t let your dress fight with your veil. Instead, they should complement each other! If your dress has beading or pretty, sparkly doodads on it, then your veil should lean toward the plain side. If your dress provides simple beauty without jewels or lots of lacy additions, then your veil can have elaborate extras. But if you combine both, the veil and the dress will end up in a one-upping competition and you’ll lose the splendor altogether. This goes for your jewelry, too. The more detailed your veil is, the softer and simpler your jewelry must be. All three elements should definitely play well together, and not against each other. There is definitely such thing as too much of a good… bling.

Color Me Bride
Make sure to color coordinate! While you don’t want your dress and veil details to be too matchy-matchy, you definitely have to make sure your colors are! If you are wearing an ivory dress, it would be no bueno to wear a diamond white veil. Many bridal salons will offer you swatch samples to compare and be sure that both items match. There is no wrong color — it’s up to you to decide what works for your style and skin tone — but you definitely want to be sure that the color is consistent for both beauties.

Veil Types
You’d think that a drapey piece of mesh would be a no-brainer shopping experience. Wrong! If you’ve just started shopping for a veil, you’ll start to hear lots of body part-centric lingo that you didn’t know could describe a wedding day accessory. Basically, many veils are described by the body part they reach. There’s shoulder length, elbow length, fingertip length, knee length, and floor length (not a body part, but toe-length just sounds weird). Then, there’s church lingo that describes two other varieties of veils and let’s face it, Hebrew school didn’t prepare you for that kind of information. Chapel length veils extend to the floor, about seven feet from the top/head piece. A cathedral length veil trails anywhere from one to three yards behind the dress. The most formal style of veil is the cathedral length.

Bride, Groom… and Veil Photos?
You and your beloved will be taking a day’s worth of photos together. From posed shots to candid snaps, the two of you will get total paparazzi treatment and it’s your big opportunity to be fierce! Your veil can be a character in your photos, too! From romantic to playful, make sure to include your veil in your happy day. You’ll be happy you did… from head to toe. Here are some camera must haves to run by your photographer.

Image courtesy of eight20 photography

Image courtesy of Meghan Aileen Photography

Image courtesy of Jessica Claire

Image courtesy of Brian Dorsey Studios

Image courtesy of Jennifer Bowen Photography

Make Fireworks at Your Wedding

Posted on July 5, 2010 by Alison in Inside Scoop, Jewish Traditions, Planning

We’re still celebrating America’s birthday, so we’ve prepared a July 4th themed wedding because you can never have enough USA love!

The United States has two beautiful oceans. From Atlantic to Pacific, J. Crew bridesmaid dresses look great on every bridesmaid! We love this getup thanks to the bow and the ocean blue hue!

Silk taffeta bow monde dress from J. Crew

This necklace screams chic Jewish bride-to-be and would be great for pre-wedding celebrating at a rehearsal dinner! Birds are the “it” icon in fashion right now, the flower adds hip femininity, and the colors pay homage to patriotic spirit!

Nautical Escape necklace from Etsy seller RachelleD

Celebrate America from head…

Vintage Inspired Rose Hairpins from Etsy seller LarqueByjason

to toe!

Image courtesy of Eleise Theuer Photography

Your first home together is your chuppah, so in honor of our country, you could create a floral decor that’s inspired by America’s colors. This chuppah created by Sprout Flowers incorporates red and purple florals along the frames. The rings of flowers not only look cool, but symbolize the continuing and never ending love of marriage. This is a great example of a modern and clean chuppah that also complements the overall style of the wedding.

Image courtesy of Sprout Flowers

Your table scape can be a breathtaking sea of red, white and blue that looks modern and elegant at the same time! Consider red flowers with blue and white accents. Go with powder or aqua blues to pair with the red. This table scape by Martha Stewart is really fresh and playful!

Red flowers in a white urn, with a lacy aqua and white mat. Add candles for extra sparkle!

For a little celebratory explosion, you can mark the start of your marriage by breaking blue and red glass under the chuppah! Save the glass from the pouch and put it inside a mezuzah or a frame. Many Judaica shops sell these commemorative items.

Breaking the glass image courtesy of Luster Studios.

Even the guys can enjoy the patriotic theme of your wedding day! Consider these super cool cufflinks for dads, groomsmen, and of course, the groom himself. Clockwise, the goods are: Patriotic Lego Tile from Etsy seller Cufflinks, Captain America Vintage Image Cuff Links from Etsy seller blinkphoto, Uncle Sam 4th of July from Etsy seller wmdean, and American Baseball Cufflinks from Etsy seller qacreate. We Want YOU to love these cufflinks!

Lego, Captain America, Uncle Sam, and leather baseball cufflinks all make great fits for the men of your wedding!

We can’t think of any other way that screams “Go America!” more than sparklers! Create a magical grand exit with sparklers provided for your guests! We love the go-to wedding sparklers company called, quite appropriately, Sparkle. They offer a variety of sparklers lengths and a thorough information guide with tips and facts about their products. We love that they showcase creative ideas for displaying sparklers; they really are the epitome of character and fun! On the most magical night of your life, you totally deserve to exit in a sparkly, big way!

Images courtesy of Sparkle