The Wedding Yentas™ | A Guide for the Jewish Bride!™

{Real Jewish Weddings} Charlotte, NC

Posted on October 1, 2013 by Alison in Real Jewish Weddings

James and Nancy met online, and coincidentally, their first date happened to be on the one-year anniversary of her twin sister’s marriage. They hit it off immediately and quickly fell in love. One year later James and Nancy got engaged at the romantic Grove Park Inn in Asheville, NC. She said YES and the wedding planning began!

The vision for their special day was to be surrounded by Jewish tradition and old southern charm. The original plan was to have everything outside, but since there was a 90% chance of rain, the hard decision was made to move the wedding and reception inside. Thankfully it only sprinkled off and on. The highlight prior to the ceremony was going on a golf cart photo adventure, zipping around and dodging raindrops. Despite the threatening weather, the wedding was absolutely beautiful.

James and Nancy included many Jewish traditions in their ceremony. One of the favorites was the signing of the Ketubah. The moment was meaningful and a beautiful symbol of their covenant which will be displayed in their home forever. Nancy’s paternal grandfather gave them a Kiddush cup that had been used at her grandparents’ own wedding 71 years ago, and the other Kiddush cup was a gift from her twin sister. Their Chuppah was the centerpiece of the ceremony and was handmade by a friend of the family. The rabbi was very special to the couple since they are friends; he did an excellent job at explaining all the Jewish traditions during the ceremony as they are an interfaith couple. The bride and groom and all of the guests had a wonderful time at the wedding and have memories that will last a lifetime!

Mazel tov, Nancy and James!

Venue and Catering: Ballantyne Country Club
Photography: Whitney Gray Photography
Cake: Cakes by MaryAnn
Florist: The Place for Flowers
Makeup Artist: Bethany Gregory
Band: Mo’ Money by East Coast Entertainment
Dress: New York Bride
Ketubah: Jerise on Etsy
Invitations/Stationery: Wedding Paper Divas
Jeweler: Skatells
Rabbi: Rabbi Michael Shields

{Real Jewish Weddings} Burlington, VT

Posted on September 24, 2013 by Alison in Real Jewish Weddings

Ben and Cambria’s wedding was a beautiful, sunny, summer wedding! In addition to hiring awesome photographers to document their love in still pictures, these two film and photo buffs included Super Eight cameras to capture the day in all of its vintage and handmade glory. So many of the details were creatively and heartfully designed and assembled by the couple themselves, and they were so lucky to have wonderful friends who helped in all facets of the getting ready time, ceremony, and reception. Thinking outside the box allows a couple to keep a wedding reasonably priced and also still beautifully memorable. Hard work clearly went into this wedding, but that’s why their love looks easy! What a wedding to be proud of and a life ahead to enjoy together.

Mazel tov, Cambria and Ben!

Photographer: Ampersand Wedding Photography
Venue: Intervale Center
Cake: Caketopia Cakes
Jeweler: VK Designs

Jewish Wedding Traditions Should Not Be Greek To Your Vendor Team

Posted on September 23, 2013 by Alison in From The Yentas, Planning

The Wedding Yentas was one of the inaugural editors of Two Bright Lights. For non-industry folks, Two Bright Lights is a fabulous site that connects photographers and their works with many different kinds of blogs, allowing for quick and easy transfers of photos and info. In fact, over half the weddings published on this here little blog have been matches made by Two Bright Lights, so it’s a system I’ve been loving since Day 1.

On Two Bright Lights, there’s a little profile for The Wedding Yentas — it explains that it’s a wedding blog for Jewish and interfaith weddings and then also includes info about what’s required for submissions. It’s pretty simple, but it’s no secret that it’s a Jewish wedding blog.

I love getting new submissions and it’s so exciting to pour over a batch of photos, getting to know a couple through the photographer’s point of view. Once in a blue moon, I’ll get a submission that’s a tease — a beautiful wedding, great details, wonderful vendor info… but it’s not a Jewish wedding. The wedding is usually submitted to 50 other blogs and you can tell that the photographer took no time to personalize the submission, pretty much just clicking a bunch of boxes to see what sticks. These photographers are lazy jerks.

But then I just decline the submission, click “Not a fit” and “Submitted to too many publications” and hope they understand what they did and learn a lesson.

Last week, I received a submission from a photographer and like all the other times for the past three years, I opened it up, excited to see what I might be able to share with all of you!

It was tagged as a Jewish wedding and it was only submitted to The Wedding Yentas. This was a good sign.

I looked at the names of the couple. Hmm… not exactly a Silverstein or a Goldenberg, but OK, Judasim and its affiliations can cross over many cultures, right?

I waited for the photos to load and while my MacBook gave me Pinwheel shpilkes, I looked at my editorial calendar to see when I had an opening to publish this wedding. Two weeks. Perfect.

Finally, I worked my way into the album. Good looking couple. Brunette. Very elaborate details. Gorgeous dress. Beaming family of women surrounding the bride as she got ready.

Indoor ceremony. Big crowd sitting in… pews? Hmmm. OK, they must be in a synagogue but the photographer didn’t list it as a venue. Must remember to follow up in an email about that for proper credit.

The decor inside had a stained glass window like so many synagogues have and then my eye skimmed down to a wall of gold plated murals of — record screech — Jesus?

Lots of Jesus and Jesus-like figures. Lots of crosses. Lots of not-a-Jewish-wedding symbols.

The wedding officiant was definitely not wearing a yarmulke and his version of a tallit had even more crosses on it. This was no rabbi.

It was then that I recognized the setting from a fabulous and funny movie that starred Aidan Shaw when he wasn’t Aidan (and yes, I was Team Aidan and not Team Big. Sue me). And it was confirmed when I saw the beautiful wreaths draped over the bride and groom’s head — the Greek Orthodox crowning ceremony.

This was not a Jewish wedding. It was a beautiful wedding. It made me wish I was the publisher for a Greek wedding planning blog. It was a lot of things, but it was not a Jewish wedding.

But you know, ethnic rituals, big family, lots of celebrating… sure, why not intentionally submit to a Jewish wedding planning blog and even tag it as a Jewish wedding?

This is not OK.

And this is why I tell you: make sure your vendors — ESPECIALLY your photographer! — know you’re having a Jewish wedding. Or another kind of wedding. Or is clued into what you’re doing at your wedding if it includes any other wedding tradition than a kiss.

You are paying someone a lot of money to follow you throughout the day. This vendor will use you for marketing tools (which is fine) and will blog about you and put your face on social media pages. This vendor will spend time with you and get to know your likes, dislikes, quirks, and family (sometimes the former two can be redundant — ha ha). Do you really want to hire someone who isn’t even going to understand the values and traditions on which your marriage begins?

I don’t know if this photographer was trying to pull one over on me or if the photographer was actually just really ignorant about cultural differences among the many different wedding ceremonies that photographers have the privilege to document. I also feel badly for the couple, who was clearly not respected enough for the photographer to even know the uniqueness and traditions of their special day and their heritage that fueled it.

Most of us are required to practice cultural sensitivity in the workplace, whether it’s at school or a corporate environment. Shouldn’t it be the same for professionals in the wedding industry?

Luckily, this was the first time I’ve come across something like this in the life of The Wedding Yentas, so I suppose that track record is pretty good. But all it takes is one. So that’s why I beg all of you to not only get to know your vendors, but make sure your vendors get to know you! You deserve it.

{Real Jewish Weddings} Pasadena, CA

Posted on September 19, 2013 by Alison in Real Jewish Weddings

Claire and Ilia enjoyed a classic and romantic Pasadena wedding. They infused a touch of Jewish traditions into the ceremony to honor Ilia’s heritage. He wore a yarmulke and stepped on the glass at the end as these are festive Jewish groom traits. They also performed their own version of a mitzvah buy donating their flowers to the local nursing and convalescent hospital. What a wonderful idea! Claire had seen this practice when she was younger while doing volunteer work in convalescent homes. One time she came in and the whole place was full of these beautiful post-wedding flowers! The residents seemed to really get a kick out of having the flowers, and the director said that people occasionally donated their flowers after events. So it seemed like a much better option to donate them rather than just throw them away!!

Mazel tov, Claire and Ilia!

Photographer: Pepper Nix Photography
Venue: Annandale Golf Club
Bridesmaid Dresses: Adrianna Papell
Floral Designer: Jerry Palmer Floral Design
Bakery: Pastries by Nancy
Invitation Designer: Vroman’s

Submitted via Two Bright Lights

Pingback: Classic and romantic Jewish wedding at Annandale Country Club » Pepper Nix Photography

What’s the Difference Between an Escort Card & a Place Card?

Posted on September 16, 2013 by Alison in Planning

Are you ready to have your mind blown?

Those little cards you pick up at the beginning of a wedding reception with your name on them that have a table number assigned? Yeah. What are they called?

{listening for your response}

You answered “place card” didn’t you?

Eeeeehhhhhhhhhhhh (that’s the “wrong” buzzer).

Those little cards that you pick up at the beginning of a wedding reception with your name on them that have a table number assigned are NOT called place cards. They are called escort cards. And you are now going to sound really freakin’ smart at the next wedding you attend. You’rewelcomeverymuch.

So what are place cards?

Place cards are not very common actually. Usually, only very formal or black tie events provide place cards and they literally dictate the place you will be sitting. The hosts have taken it upon themselves to place you at a seat at your assigned table. The place cards are set in advance to receive you as you find your assigned table.

You’ll do a little mosey around the table to find your name at a place setting. That’s your seat. All for you. Your own little piece of wedding reception real estate.

Easy way to remember: PLACE card puts you in your PLACE.

Alexan Events

Ann Hamilton Photography

Homemade Simple

And now that I’ve put you in your place, let me explain escort cards. Escort cards identify the table at which you’ll be sitting. The people frolic into your reception, all giddy and stoked about the glass you just broke and the mazels they just yelled. Then they pass a table with beautifully displayed cards or other items that say their names and table numbers. Then — this part is important — they pick up the card, read it, and walk away, taking it with them. Keyword: Walk away.

The card escorts them to their table. It’s almost as if the card is their friend and whispers in their ear, “Pssst! You! Yes, you! You are sitting at Table 6. It’s near the open bar. Score!”

And that’s how you remember escort cards: they escort you to your table.

Evoke Photography

Martha Stewart Weddings

Christa Kimble Photography

Some weddings may not assign any tables or seats to anyone. Free for all. Grab a seat at any table you like. These weddings will not have escort cards or place cards.

Most weddings will assign you a table. You’ll pick up your escort card, find your table, and choose a seat there.

The most formal weddings will assign you a table and a place card. After you find your table listed on your escort card, you’ll then find your place at the table that’s been preselected.

So next time you’re at a wedding, flex your knowledge and tell your friends, “Let’s go find our escort cards to see what table we’re sitting at!”

Except… your grammar-correcting friend is going to correct you, the wedding term-correcting friend, and say, “No. Let’s go find our escort card to see at which table we’ll be sitting.”

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