An American In Jerusalem: Falling In Love In Israel

Anna Abramzon StudioToday, Anna Abramzon of Anna Abramzon Studio chimes in as a ketubah expert on The Wedding Yentas! They say she started drawing before she started walking, but that may be an exaggeration. As soon as she did start walking though, Anna started traveling, sketchbook in hand. She has lived all over the place and her travels have infused her artwork with color and life. Anna specialize in mixed media, combining collage with gouache, watercolor, pencil and ink. Anna met and married her husband in Jerusalem, Israel, and thought their wedding was a wonderful opportunity to create some love-inspired art, so she painted their ketubah, their invites, their thank you notes, and pretty much everything else that she possibly could for their wedding. Next thing she knew, other people started asking her to create artwork for their weddings. And that’s how Anna became a ketubah artist. She lives in Houston, Texas with her husband and daughter. Shop for your ketubah and keepsake art at Anna Abramzon Studio.

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One of the strangest phone calls I’ve ever had to make was to my parents to tell them I was getting married. The ultimate weirdness of this phone call can be summed up with my mom’s response… after a tense pause she said, “to whom?”

So here’s the story:

Once upon a time, an oblivious Russian-American Jewish girl spent a summer in an office in Jerusalem at a desk next to an Argentinean-Israeli boy who kept trying to get her attention. The girl was so oblivious, that even when the cute Argentisraeli asked her on a “date,” she eagerly accepted and even brought a friend along. But in her defense, the plan for this “date” was to go hear a panel on Palestinian Reform at the Knesset (Israeli parliament) — not exactly your typical dinner and a movie, so no wonder the girl was confused! The boy, however, was right in figuring that this kind of unusual event was the only way to get the Russian space cadet’s attention. During that non-date, the Argentine boy casually joked that he was eventually planning on marrying the girl, who at that moment finally realized that the boy might be interested in her as more than a coworker who shared his interest in Mideast politics. The third-wheeler friend tactfully made her exit right around then, and the boy and girl spent a lovely evening in a Jerusalem coffee shop, talking about life and finishing each others’ sketchpad doodles (they also both loved to draw). After the boy walked the girl home, as a perfect finish to a perfect non-date, the girl got a flu and left Israel without ever coming back to the office. To her dismay, the cute Argentisraeli boy never called.

One might think the story would have ended there, except that Fate intervened. The girl left Israel and spent that year in New York, becoming somewhat of an expert JDater. Her dream was to move to Israel, so she found every excuse not to get too attached to any local boys and to fly to Israel as often as possible. About a year after the non-date with the Argentinian boy, the girl was on another visit to Israel and was walking down the boardwalk in Eilat (a southern resort town) with her girlfriends and her little brother who had come on the trip with her.

It is important to this story to mention that the New York year had not been kind to the Russian-American girl and in her struggle with conquering the Big Apple, she had gained twenty pounds. It’s also important to mention that her skin was not reacting well to travel and was therefore beginning to resemble a greasy slice of NY pepperoni pizza, and due to the very tight travel budget of a recent college grad trying to live in Manhattan, she had also not showered in a little too long.

It was probably the last possible moment that she would have wanted to run into the cute boy from the summer before, but as fate would have it, they literally bumped into each other on that boardwalk. She quickly noticed the statuesque model-thin, blonde, Goddess of a girl accompanying the boy, which of course made her feel all that much more frumpy. The boy, however, quickly introduced the Goddess as his sister, visiting from Argentina (what a relief!) and suggested that they meet back on the boardwalk at 9 o’clock that evening. The girl gladly agreed. (As a side note, in her future life together with an Argentinian boy, the girl would learn that all Argentine women look like Goddesses. She still doesn’t know what unfair distribution of genes causes this effect, but it’s a fact).

At nine o’clock that evening, the freshly showered and shaved boy waited at the meeting point for what he thought was his second date with the oblivious cartoon and politics-lover from the summer before. To his dismay, the girl showed up freshly showered and made up (a good sign), but with an entourage of her two girlfriends and eleven year old brother (surely not a good sign). The boy was starting to wonder what exactly was wrong with this girl and why she felt compelled to bring backup to every date. The girl on the other hand, was wondering where the boy’s sister was? She had assumed that when he suggested “they” meet up, he had meant all of them.

Lucky for him, it didn’t take long for the girl’s friends to sense the situation and claim “sudden, overwhelming and inexplicable exhaustion,” retreating to their hotel and taking her little brother with them.

That night, over red wine on the white sands of an Eilat beach, under a full moon (I am not making this up!), the South American professed his plans to “wait for her,” and threw around words like “destiny” and “forever” while his cynical, Ukranian-American date, struggled desperately to shut out the earsplitting warning sirens in her head (not to mention the overwhelming gag reflex).

And that’s how the relationship continued, with the boy always a step ahead. While the girl was comprising schemes to find out if they were “exclusive” and if she could consider him her “boyfriend” (she was too American to flat out ask), the boy casually told her that he was planning to marry her (for the second time since they met). It didn’t take long for the girl to catch up, though, and to realize that this romantic, strangely decisive, macho teddy bear of a man was the one for her. She moved to Israel two months later and within six days of her arrival they were officially engaged.

That’s when I had to make the crazy phone call to my parents.

Anna Abramzon Studio

{Real Jewish Weddings} Los Angeles, CA

Barrie and Daniel met when they were in high school and have spent countless hours laughing together over the last 12 years. After their five-year courtship, they were thrilled to finally make things official while on vacation in San Jose del Cabo.

The bride and groom spent the wedding day surrounded by their closest friends and family. The bridal party consisted of 10 brothers, sisters and in-laws, as well as the bride and groom’s 14 nieces and nephews. The day was even more special with personal touches such as the groom’s brother-in-law as the officiant and a close family friend who designed the gorgeous ketubah.

They are looking forward to a delayed honeymoon to Paris in March, and many exciting vacations over the years to come.

Mazel tov, Barrie and Daniel!

Los Angeles Jewish Weddings by Kim Fox

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Venue: Sephardic Temple Tifereth Israel
Photographer: Kim Fox Photography
Florist: Efren at Elegant Thorn
Music: Robby Helperin, Simcha Orchestra
Caterer: Pat’s
Hair: Juliana Eckblad
Makeup: Jenna Keller
Cinematographer: Ahava Films
Officiant – Groom’s brother-in-law, Rabbi Stephen Burg

Kendra Scott Gives You Wedding Day Sparkle

Recently, my friend and fellow wedding junkie, Beverly Harris of Beverly Harris Weddings and Events invited me for a lovely morning of bubbles and baubles! I was in the great company of other high end wedding vendors (a wedding blogger like me was in heaven, talking shop with the real pros!) as we sipped some champy and got googly eyes over stunning Kendra Scott jewelry inside the inviting and delightful Beverly Hills boutique.

Kendra Scott Color Bar

I’ve seen Kendra Scott in magazines and on celebrities, but I’d never personally handled the jewelry, and you guys, it’s gorgeous in person! And oh-so perfect for weddings! I can’t recommend Kendra Scott enough!

There are tons of options for you in store or online ready to go, and they would all make amazing gifts to your loved ones or even yourself (hey! you deserve pretty things, too!), but where I really gushed was the Color Bar.

What’s on tap at the Color Bar? Oh, you know, only the fantastic, high-end jewelry you expect with pretty much a rainbow (sans pot of gold — sorry) of colors to mix and match as you customize your bridal jewelry. YES. Customize. That’s like a bride’s favorite word.

All hail the Color Bar by Kendra Scott. I know this is a web site about Jewish weddings, but do you hear the angels singing?

All hail the Color Bar by Kendra Scott. I know this is a web site about Jewish weddings, but do you hear the angels singing?

I learned how the Color Bar works and was quite impressed with the process and it’s hardly even a “process.” The demonstration consisted of a touch screen, interactive experience! Cool geek overload! You can do this online, too. So, first you pick your style of jewelry. Pick your earrings/bracelet/ring/necklace and decide if you want it in gold or silver. Then choose your color gem. And, in theory, you’re done.

But say the piece you select is a chandelier earring with various spaces for stones. You can design your own pattern or arrangement of colored gems in each space. For example, online just now, I designed an ombre-style pair of chandelier earrings using shades of purple-ish tones. I was able to select the area and then click on the color. I made a few different versions before I settled on this one. See the progression of my build out.

Kendra Scott Color Bar

Cool, right?

Not into an ombre? Fine. You can do it all one color. Or just use two. Or go all Jackson Pollock and splatter color everywhere. No right, no wrong. You’re in control, sister. (Mmmmm. “Control.” Another favorite word for brides.).

I’m a big fan of color. I love colorful things and have a hard time sticking to muted tones. My own wedding was pink and orange with splashes of lime. So, I’m not kidding when I say I love color. But if you’re into black and white or charcoals or even just soft creams, you can still take advantage of the Color Bar and create the piece of jewelry that suits you. It’s all about you! And as it should be! Don’t ever let anyone tell you differently!

Kendra Scott Color Bar

So, when you’re looking for your bridal jewels, think about Kendra Scott! And the price points are absolutely affordable. I must admit I never purchased anything there because I assumed the prices were waaaa-aaaa-aaaay out of my budget and my husband would kill me. But I learned that their pieces are totally in most brides’ budgets so much so that you could probably customize a few pieces of jewelry. You need earrings for your bachelorette party, right? And you want something cute and sparkly to wear to your upcoming shower? Exactly.

Happy coloring with Kendra Scott!

{Real Jewish Weddings} Los Angeles, CA

A note from The Wedding Yentas: This is my sister-in-law’s wedding in which I was the Maid of Honor, my husband a groomsman, and my daughter a flower girl. It’s an honor to publish her wedding not only because it was beautiful, but because it was a special family occasion! And yes, I know I was technically a matron of honor, but can we just all agree that “matron” sounds too frumpy and unfun? So happy to share this wedding with my fellow Yentas!

Nothing is more important to both Alison and Michael than loved ones, laughter, music, and good food. When planning their wedding day, they were sure to make those four passions take the spotlight. By using a regal purple as the main color (Alison’s favorite color and Michael’s college color, go Northwestern Cats!) and their take on a simple yet elegant aesthetic, they were able to make the day shine with the help of their loving family and friends, a rocking band, incredible food, and inevitable laughter.

Since both bride and groom are professional performers (as are many of their family and friends), the band played while various members of the party would sing their hearts out, including a special performance by the groom in which he surprised his wife by singing a song just for her (“Grow Old With Me” by Jason Robert Brown). The ceremony itself was a reform ceremony in which Michael drank most of the wine, Alison and Michael tearfully and giddily exchanged vows, and Michael crushed the glass to roaring sounds of “Mazel Tov.” It was a beautiful day, full of love and joy, which neither of them will ever forget!

Mazel tov, Alison and Michael!

Los Angeles Jewish Weddings

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Venue/Caterer: Skirball Center
Photographer: ES Photography
Coordinator: Melissa Jordan of Liquid Bliss
Florist: Happy Flowers
Band: Wayne Foster Entertainment
Cake: Cake Crumbs
Officiant: Cantor David Shukiar from Temple Adat Elohim
Wedding Dress: Camarillo Bridal
Bridesmaids/Flower Girl Dresses: David’s Bridal
Groom/Groomsmen’s Tuxes: Victor Talbots
Party Favors: Salty and Sweet Theme! Sweet from Penny’s Sweet Shoppe and bath salts from bath junkie
Bride’s Hair Stylist: Susie Hooper
Bridesmaids’ Hair Stylist: Briana Bayar, Bella B Salon
Bridal and Bridesmaids’ Makeup Artist: Samantha Salk

Mourning and Wedding Dates: What You Need to Know About Jewish Customs

Usually around these parts of the inter webs, we talk about fun, happy, pretty things — the wedding equivalent to rainbows and unicorns and fairy dust. I like it like that. And clearly you do, too, since y’all are so loyal as fellow Yentas. But here’s the thing: sometimes, gefilte fish gets real, and we need to talk about things that aren’t as rainbowy and unicornish and fairy dust-like.

I’m going to be frank with you: sometimes, people die. Well, people always die, but sometimes it’s poor timing and they die within the year of your wedding. This could be a, how do I say this? a problem.

This week, I got a phone call from a hotel catering manager who was looking for some information about the Jewish mourning period because her bride and groom just notified her that they’d have to postpone the wedding. The wedding was set for summer of 2013 and a grandparent just passed away. They want to delay the wedding until the period of mourning is over, but the venue clearly stated that their deposit would not be transferrable as noted in the contract. Obviously, the couple is upset by this, and they are currently working on a solution that is mutually beneficial.

This sad tale brought the catering manager to me via phone call (she and I did not know each other previously as we live in different states and have never worked together on The Wedding Yentas) and we spoke about the significance of mourning in Judaism and why we both think that the venue should accommodate the couple and transfer their deposit to a TBD date.

So, not to sound like your bubbie, but, a thousand times POO POO (spit), in case you need to know, I thought I’d share some Jewish mourning guidelines and how they might be relevant to your wedding if the timing is unfortunate. As always, the way you choose to observe Jewish traditions is up to you and what’s best for your family, or consult your rabbi for guidance. As with most traditional Jewish observances, there are many layers to the restrictions. What’s covered here is literally the tip of the iceberg and should not be used as the absolute manual regarding the mourning period.

Basically, after a loved one passes away, there is a series of stages that the mourner goes through varying from solitary grieving to being comforted by others, from staying in the home to returning to the normalcy of life. Typically, the first seven days (Shivah) are the hardest for the mourner who, only at the end of Shivah, begins to take callers and well wishers. Shloshim lasts 30 days and the mourner begins to move on as he or she goes out into the world to do what he or she needs to do. However during Shivah and Shloshim, joining in on celebratory parties or taking part in joyous events is not acceptable as the mourner’s wounds are still so fresh.

When Shloshim ends, the mourner is bridged into the remainder of the year (the whole year makes a revolution from the burial date to the anniversary of the burial). According to Jewish observances, for the mourning of one’s parents, there is to be no attending celebrations of joy during that first year.

Now, who is to say what’s a joyous occasion? This can be such a subjective term. What if going for a walk with your dog brings you joy? What if eating ooey gooey chocolate chip cookies for breakfast brings you joy? The “joy” that the scholars refer to is religious joy or celebration like… you guessed it… a wedding celebration. Going to wish the couple “mazel tov” or attending the chuppah ceremony is OK. However, joining the festivities of a meal and dancing to gleeful music is not.

If a wedding ceremony takes place in a catering or banquet facility where music is played, there is a general rule that people who are mourning parents should not attend for 12 months and 30 days for other relatives.

A festive meal with friends and relatives is considered joy, and the mourner should avoid occasions like these until after 12 months when mourning for parents, and 30 days when mourning for other relatives.

Interestingly, if a mourner chooses to not be part of the wedding day or has requested that there be a postponement of the wedding date and there is a possibility that the delay might cause the bride or groom to withdraw from the marriage, the mourner may attend at any time of mourning and under any conditions in order to avoid indefinite cancellation. The bottomline here is: mourning should not cause the wedding to be canceled. However, if the wedding can be simply postponed, that is better.

It is said that if a mourner feels her or she must attend the wedding celebration before the mourning period is officially over, he or she should perform a serviceable role, like help prepare or serve the dinner or usher guests to seats at the ceremony.

In my personal opinion, a delay of a wedding due to a death in the family is absolutely reasonable, though unfortunate, and wedding vendors should honor this custom without penalizing the couple monetarily. Most contracts typically say that events can’t be canceled without penalty unless there is an act of God. Typically, most people think of natural disasters that make it impossible for society to function. However, a death in the family may also be considered an act of God by some people, and is typically unavoidable.

I hope that none of you ever have to refer to this cheat sheet, but thought the information may be helpful. Now, go out and live life and enjoy your wedding planning!

April O'Hare Photography