The Wedding Yentas™ | A Guide for the Jewish Bride!™

Real Jewish Weddings | New Rochelle, NY

Posted on July 17, 2012 by Alison in Real Jewish Weddings

Josh and Rachel’s story gives hope to young Jewish singles as they met through the blindest of blind dates. After a roundabout chain that featured jumbled messages and inverted phone numbers (they were introduced by Rachel’s friend’s friend who has a sister that is friends with Josh’s sister – say that three times fast!), the couple had their first date in November of 2010. They say that their relationship always felt right, so when Josh proposed at the base of the Brooklyn Bridge a year later, friends and family were quick to celebrate with them.

Choosing a wedding date seemed daunting at first; the couple realized that their engagement would either be incredibly short or longer than they would’ve liked. Always up for a challenge, they picked a date in March, a short four months later. Their highest priority for the wedding day was to combine old traditions and new customs. The couple chose to use a talit and kiddush cup under the chuppah that belonged to each of Rachel’s grandfathers, but opted out of a first slow dance. The venue and catering choices came easily to them, but they both felt strongly that it was the band who would keep their guests on the dance floor and the photographer who would capture the day’s special moments.

Looking back, Josh and Rachel maintain that a short engagement is “definitely the way to go,” but now that the wedding is behind them, they’re slowing down and enjoying the simple pleasures of married life.

Mazel tov, Rachel and Josh!

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Ceremony & Reception Venue: Greentree Country Club
Photographer: Stephanie Reinish Photography
Florist: Flowers by Sutton
Band: Ike Walkover
Caterers: Genadeen Caterer
Makeup Artist: Jody Formica

Photos submitted via Two Bright Lights!

Who Should Hold The Wedding Rings?

Posted on July 16, 2012 by Alison in From The Yentas, Inside Scoop, Planning

Sometimes it’s helpful to be a Facebook addict. A while back, a friend of mine, Lauren, who has been a contributor to Tales from the Veil, posted a status that said she was unsure who should hold the rings during the wedding. Good question! Got me thinking that this question is a common one (I remember asking it while planning my own wedding) and it would be helpful to address it here on The Wedding Yentas. So don’t put yourself through the ringer and stress about the official ring holders! Here’s some food for thought.

(Photo by Beth Kesier Photography)

Pockets. It’s all about pockets. You may have cute little ring bearers, but don’t kid yourself that some kid is going to take ownership of the actual (and, ahem, expensive) rings. So who’s another candidate for possessing the rings? Pick a groomsman; most likely one will have pockets. And hopefully at least one will not be too hungover from the rehearsal dinner the night before. So, pick a responsible groomsman with pockets!

Does this designated groomsman only hold the groom’s ring? Well, unless an equally-responsible bridesmaid also has pockets, both bride and groom rings should probably go to the groomsman. If you are keeping Jewish tradition and accepting a ring that’s not adorned and solid all the way around for the ceremony, don’t forget to give this ring to the Heroic Groomsman as well. Essentially, he’ll be carrying three rings! Yes, so make sure his pockets are deep. And responsible.

After you’ve exchanged your traditional rings, you may want to put on your non-traditional wedding band after the ceremony. That’s what I did and it worked like a charm. I couldn’t wait to skip away from the chuppah and finally wear the diamond band our best man had in his pocket. Like a moth to the flame went my ring to my finger. Ah yes, that’s it. Right there. Hits the spot.

(Photo by Luster Studios)

Once the pretty “every day ring” met its two new neighbors — the engagement ring and my finger — I removed the solid gold band that was used for symbolic purposes during the ceremony and gave it to the best man. So, make sure the groomsman you choose remains responsible (if just for a short while!) after the ceremony so that he can put the traditional ring somewhere safe that was agreed upon prior to the day’s hoopla. Once that open bar is ready for action, no groomsman — no matter how responsible! — can be trusted. So, the traditional ring needs to make it back to a secure home (bridal room, a purse under a chair, the wedding coordinator, etc.).

Bottomline: Just find someone you can count on, will be near the chuppah during the ceremony, and who has the ability to store and transport your bling. Groomsman or grandpa, it doesn’t really matter. Just make sure that in the midst of planning your centerpiece decor and must-have music playlist, you consider this easily-forgotten detail and put a plan in motion. Once you know how to handle the rings, you’re one step closer to ringing in your new, married life!

Engagement Photos to Inspire: New Orleans, Louisiana

Posted on July 12, 2012 by Alison in Featured

Want a free lesson on engagement photo sessions? Just keep scrolling. I am totally loving these images from photographer Stevie Ramos and the couple is adorable and just so. in. love.

New Orleans is one of the most charismatic cities I can think of. The photos allow us to hear, smell, and see the essence of New Orleans and a lovely couple who seem to adore each other quite a bit is the icing on the engagement photo cake.

I love how the Spanish moss in the trees plays a part in the background of the photos. It really tells us about where they are. The wardrobe changes are just right: from casual to formal, we really get a feel for what this cute couple is all about! It’s also worth noting that they scheduled the session right: great light for day shots and romantic light for night shots. Some locations are better in the day and others are better at night. But Nawlins, boy oh boy… Nawlins is good at every hour.

Long time readers will know that I’m obsessed with dogs and including them in wedding-related events, so it’s no secret that I’m delighted to see the family pooch featured in this shoot. Dogs just make everything cuter.

Photos submitted via Two Bright Lights!

Yenta-quette: Ask Desiree, Edition 2

Posted on July 11, 2012 by Alison in Yenta-quette

The Wedding Yentas is so excited to bring back another edition of a wedding advice column, Yenta-quette, featuring questions and answers about wedding etiquette from a Los Angeles foodie, social butterfly, and former Real Weddings bride, Desiree Jacobs.

Desiree, more than anything, enjoys coming home from work and putting on pajamas. She loves to eat Mexican food and sushi (not together) and couldn’t live without chocolate. She’s got a penchant for reality tv and 90s music. She lives with her husband Richard and the cutest dog that ever lived, Breaker. She wears a size 7 shoe and would love the entire current Sam Edelman collection and black Louboutains. Feel free to send them her way! Oh and Kate Spade bags are also appreciated. If you love Yenta-quette and you’re like, “I NEED MORE OF THAT” visit her blog at www.bundtsofsteelblog.com.

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How do I address envelopes? What about when the woman in a couple is a doctor? Or what about friends of mine who are single and bringing a date?

It is true that your invitation sets the tone for your wedding, but what do guests see before they see the invitation itself? They see the envelope! Depending on the formality of your wedding, you have several options of how to address envelopes. If you’re having a very formal black tie wedding, you should definitely use formal titles, not “Uncle Bob and Aunt Becky.” It would read: Dr. and Mrs. Robert Goldberg.

Now this is an excellent question when the wife is a Dr. In this case, you would address the envelope “Mr. Robert and Dr. Rebecca Goldberg.” Another tricky situation can be when a married couple does not have the same last name, in which you would address them “Dr. Robert Goldberg and Mrs. Rebecca Weissblatt.” These invitations look great when done in calligraphy by hand and you spell out “Boulevard” instead of “Blvd.” Please note that it is appreciated by guests to use the word “Unit” as opposed to “Apartment” as it encompasses apartments and condos. You may also have an envelope inside the outer envelope that says first names of the couple and contains the actual invitation, though this secondary envelope is not really necessary. If you are sending the invitation to a friend with a date and you know the date, please address the invitation to both of them “Mr. Jeffrey Steinberg and (or use “&”) Miss Lauren Horowitz.” If you do not know the date’s name, you may say “Mr. George Rosenberg and Guest.”

If you are having a very intimate, casual wedding, you can be a little more creative with your address format. It is still nice to address as “Mr. and (or use “&” or “+”) Mrs. Goldstein”, but you can be more playful here and use first names, “Josh and Rachel Goldstein.”

What’s the etiquette on letting my friends bring a date to the wedding? Should my wedding be a Sadie Hawkins dance or is there a set of rules for who can invite a plus-one? And how do I share my decision?

There are a few ways to tackle this one and in the end, someone will always get their feelings hurt. It’s one of the harder parts of determining a guest list as you don’t want friends to feel left out if they can’t bring a date. Unless you don’t have a budget or are getting married in an enormous venue that can accommodate an endless number of guests, you’re going to have to draw the line somewhere and one of those places is by limiting “plus ones” aka “dates.” It is common for couples to make a rule about who gets to bring a date and who doesn’t. Sometimes the rule is that the wedding party can invite dates, another thought is that family members can invite dates, and it is even okay to decide that no one can bring dates.

This was a difficult decision my husband and I made for our guest list and we decided that we would invite significant others of friends if we had socialized with the significant other on a regular basis, the couple had been together for a significant amount of time (for us this was about a year), was living together, or engaged. I felt strongly that I wanted to know every guest at my wedding. I didn’t want to look at wedding pictures and wonder “who’s the guy with Nicole? Was that the week she was dating Josh or Jeff,” or to learn that they broke up their hot two-week-old romance the week after my wedding.

Your friends should pick up on if they are invited solo or with a guest based on whose names are on or are not on the envelope. If it is just your name, then you are the only person invited to the wedding. If the envelope says “and guest” then mazel tov, you just scored a date to the wedding! It might sound harsh to have this cut and dry rule, but creating some kind of guideline about how to handle dates is the fairest way to handle this. Be sure to stick to it to avoid further hurting feelings. Stand by your rule if a friend asks you if they can bring someone and be honest; explain that you have a limited amount of seating in your venue and cannot accommodate dates for all your friends. It’s a tough conversation to have and one many a bride has had to deal with and will have to respond to in the future.

Do I still buy a gift for the couple if I’m in the wedding party?

So you’re a bridesmaid and you’ve already ponied up for a dress, new shoes, perhaps some travel, hair, makeup, a bachelorette party, and who knows what other expense may have come your way in your quest to support one of your best friends on her big day! IT ADDS UP and this is a hotly debated topic. When I have been a bridesmaid I have always given a gift to the couple. I knew when I said yes to being in her wedding that it would be an expensive year. When I was a bride, all my bridesmaids gave me gifts as well. I actually didn’t expect this from them and had they not given me a gift I wouldn’t have been surprised or disappointed because I know participating in a wedding is a big financial commitment. I’m sure if you’re in the wedding, you still want to do something for the couple, so try to get them something thoughtful and a price point you’re comfortable with. If you’re bringing a date to the wedding, you might want to dip a little deeper and give something just a little more because it was nice of the couple to invite your date.

Real Jewish Weddings | Atlanta, GA

Posted on July 10, 2012 by Alison in Real Jewish Weddings

With a smile permanently attached to her face all day, it’s easy to see why Adam loves Elissa. And who can blame him? Everyone loves a happy bride! Elissa is the epitome of classic. Her bridal look is classic and her wedding style is classic. She will look at her wedding photos in 50 years and nothing will be dated because she chose creams and blacks for her wedding colors and her flowers are beautiful pillows of soft textures. And then there’s that cake. Oh, that cake. Definitely too pretty to eat. But what nice Jewish girl would turn down cake? Especially if it’s as delicious as it is beautiful! It’s easy to love a cake with such details as dots and bows.

It’s so easy to gush about a wedding filled with such simple beauty, but it’s also heartwarming to see a wedding filled with tradition. Elissa and Adam got married in a synagogue, and the richness of spirituality is present in the photos. No doubt Elissa and Adam enjoyed a happy day!

Mazel tov, Elissa and Adam!

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