The Wedding Yentas™ | A Guide for the Jewish Bride!™

Including Your In-Laws In Your Wedding Planning

Posted on November 2, 2011 by Alison in Planning

So, we’re going to assume a few things here first before we get down and dirty on the topic of weddings and in-laws.

1. Your spouse’s parents are still alive.
2. Your spouse has a good (enough) relationship with his parents.
3. Your spouse’s parents are going to be part of the wedding day in any capacity.

That said, you may be wondering how you can include your in-laws in your wedding planning if you and your spouse have a desire to do so. The laws of, oh I don’t know, nature, sometimes dictate that the groom’s parents may pay for a few things here and there — or nothing at all — and just show up to the wedding. But in an effort to maintain a healthy relationship with your in-laws, it might be nice to include them in some aspects of your wedding planning, which may serve as an investment for your future positive relationship with them.

Assuming there’s already a drama-free relationship in place, I think in-laws tend to feel like they want to be included without overstepping bounds. They’re kvelling for the pending nuptials and are just as excited as your parents might be, but aren’t sure how much involvement they should have. So, if you have a nice relationship with them and would like to include them in the wedding planning experience, you can still invite them to share the ride with you while keeping other aspects intimate and special. And scoring extra points never hurt anyone either!

If one or both of your in-laws has a hobby, interest, or trade they’re passionate about, loop them into a similar wedding element. If your mother-in-law spends her weekends out in her garden, she’d probably love to join you at your consultation with your florist. Or if your spouse’s parents love to cook or travel the world trying new delicacies, they would probably be thrilled to attend the food tasting with your caterer if you’re allowed to bring guests. Choose some meetings with your vendors that you think would pique their interest. It’ll be fun and they might have something to bring to the table, too.

Host a dinner at your place for your in-laws and spend the night relaxing and having fun together. You can talk about wedding details over dinner and break out into some in-law bonding discussion. This might also be a good time to weigh in on their table seating opinions. They know their family best and can tell you that Uncle Ira and Aunt Esther are still not on speaking terms from The Great Chanukah Fiasco of 1993 when Uncle Ira took the last big chocolate gelt from the netting bag, and, therefore, should not be seated at the same table. The in-laws can also help you in deciding on some of the music your DJ or band should play that would satisfy their generation’s preferences (I know, the Boomers don’t always love Nicki Minaj unless, of course, the little English girls from YouTube are coming to your wedding). And if you really want to be sleuthy, find out their favorite slow dance song and ask your DJ or band to play it for them at the wedding; it’s a nice touch and they’ll plotz.

You’ve probably heard a dozen times that it’s not a good idea to have a whole entourage attend your dress shopping escapades or fittings. Too many opinions make for a stressed out bride. However, including your spouse’s mother at a wedding dress appointment may be a great way to make her feel loved and part of your inner circle. You know her best, though. If you think she’s going to complain or critique your dream dress, leave the broad at home. On the other hand, if she really just wants to share in the joy of seeing you glow in that three-way mirror with hefty chip clips holding you in, it might make for a fun ladies’ day out. This really depends on your overall relationship with her because, as you know, traditionally your dress is sacred and only your most favorite gals get to be a part of this most bridal experience. You be the judge.

Bottomline, you want to bridge the gap between the sets of parents and try to make everyone feel included based on your comfort level. None of this is required. These are simply ideas for fostering already in-tact relationships. Your friendly neighborhood Wedding Yenta is certainly not a family therapist, but these are tactics that have worked for other brides that may also work for you.

At the end of the night, when the high heels are tossed in the corner and the flowers are being disassembled, you’ll have a new set of official family members and wouldn’t it be nice if your in-laws were also your in-loves?

Real Weddings | Chautauqua, NY

Posted on November 1, 2011 by Alison in Real Jewish Weddings

It’s true, as Andy joked, the wedding was equally inconvenient for everyone. Even from the nearest airport, people drove past several vineyards, the occasional corn field, and plenty of woods until they reached the giant lake and the little town: Chautauqua. It may be far, but it is truly a sanctuary, with its tightly-clustered houses referencing a wide array of historical periods. The roads are more like paths, built for walking and biking, not driving. Chautauqua was specifically created as a place for education and enrichment, and still to this day, it’s home to an annual classical music festival, which Raquel’s parents (both musicians) have attended for 40 years.

Every summer growing up, Raquel and her family would make the nine hour journey from New York City to this completely different version of New York. So when Raquel was getting married, she knew this would be the place. The guests were easily seduced into this slower pace of life for the weekend. It was a beautiful wedding filled to the brim with Jewish traditions, and all around there was a sense of being anchored in something bigger, something special.

The ceremonies began with Raquel and Andy in separate rooms for the parallel Kabbalat Panim and Tisch until Andy’s friends and family escorted him into Raquel’s part of the room to see her for the first time. After the signing of the ketubah, the couple and the guests headed to Chautauqua’s Hall of Philosophy for the wedding ceremony. In addition to the Jewish traditions in the ceremony, Raquel’s family contributed their musical talents throughout: her sister sang Schumann’s Widmung as she walked down the aisle, and her family sang a couple of a capella songs for the bride and groom. Later, in the reception, the couple entered to a giant celebratory dance set. The very end of the night concluded with grace after meals, with friends reciting the seven Hebrew blessings.

Mazel tov, Raquel and Andy!

Ceremony Venue- Hall of Philosophy, Chautauqua, NY
Photographer- Anna Wu Photography
Reception Venue & Catering- Athenaeum Hotel
Hair & Makeup- Iris Conradi, Natural Look Salon & Spa
Yarmulkes- Yarmulkes.com
Ketubah- Ketubah Studio MP Artworks
Cake- Brick Village Gourmet

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Pass Me The Pashmina

Posted on October 31, 2011 by Alison in Inside Scoop, Planning

Your bridesmaids and female guests may come to your wedding dressed to the nines, but what about chilly outdoor ceremonies or cocktail hours? It’s likely that your lady friends may not bring a coat or wrap that also matches their dresses, so help a sista out. You can provide practical, color-coordinating, and good-looking pashminas (or knock offs!) for those bare-shouldered babes.

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You can stack them in baskets in the ceremony area. Create a cute sign that says something like “Wrap Yourself Up In Love” and display them so your gal guests see them. You can get pretty prints that complement your wedding colors or get one or two solid colors that match your theme. Typically, darker wraps seem more formal, but most colors will look great at beach and garden weddings.

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Including pashminas in your bridesmaids’ gift bags is thoughtful and helpful for the wedding day. They may decide to wear them under the chuppah to stay warm, and we think that’s perfectly acceptable. Having this extra accessory offers your photographer different ideas for group photos, too. Wearing a few different looks makes the photos more exciting and provides you more options when it comes to selecting shots for your album. So, consider wearing them for photos… and then not wearing them for photos! It’s fun to switch it up.

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Don’t forget to pamper yourself, too! Just because you’re the bride doesn’t mean you have to freeze. Whether you’re mingling outside during cocktail hour or you escape with your new hubster for a yichud (time alone after the ceremony), you might be shilly. Grab a pashmina and enjoy the warmth. You can match the pashmina to your dress or wear a wedding color to stand out. Either way, you can’t go wrong because the bride is the best looking lady on the wedding day!

Now, where to get the pashminas? You can easily find them online for purchase with a quick, simple Google search. But, if you can get to a China Town in a metropolis near you, you’ll find a plethora of stores that offer pashminas in all kinds of colors, prints, and textures for super low prices. We’ve heard of Boston, New York, Los Angeles, San Fancisco, and D.C. area brides having luck at stores in those cities’ China Towns. Flea markets and swap meats usually have pashmina vendors also, so it definitely pays to look around.

With a little research and a coordinating plan, you can add a splash of color and stylish comfort to your guests’ wedding day experience. Don’t pash up your opportunity to include pashminas in your wedding day!

A Second Look: Wedding Video!

Posted on October 27, 2011 by Alison in Featured, Real Jewish Weddings

Danielle and Patrick‘s wedding photos by Amy Karp Photography were pretty spectacular, weren’t they? Their adorableness was jumping out of the computer screen!

So, let’s revisit, but this time we can go back in time with their highlights reel by Lynn Films! The reel hits all the sweet spots and their reception dancing looked so fun! I’m kind of exhausted just watching everyone! Oh, and the song that plays behind the video? Super catchy! I do, I do, I do, I do, I do….

Venue- Omni Mandalay Las Colinas, TX
Photographer- Amy Karp Photography
Officiant- My Personal Cantor, Debbi Ballard
Florist- Bloomtown Florist
Cake- Fancy Cakes By Lauren
Videographer- Lynn Films
Entertainment / Music- Random Axis
Entertainment Agent- My Dallas Gigs, Eddy Parker
Hair- Gova Salon, Amy Martinez
Equipment Rentals- Magic Moments Events

Again, mazel tov, Danielle and Patrick!

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Love As Sweet As Candy

Posted on October 26, 2011 by Alison in From the Expert, Inside Scoop, Planning

The Wedding Yentas recently had a chit-chat with Jackie Sorkin of Custom Candy Buffets and Dessert Bars and just like the treats she provides, this top-notch wedding pro was sweet and fun, and we’re excited to share our exchange here! Jackie has sweetened up some of the biggest wedding events in history and also provides buffets for corporate functions and celebrities! We’ve all seen the candy buffet trend explode all over the wedding circuit that keeps guests excited to party hard at your reception. Sugar will do that to you! So keep on reading to learn just how to make sure your confections at your soiree are as sweet as your kisses under the chuppah!

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The Wedding Yentas: Welcome to The Wedding Yentas, Jackie! Tell us about how you got your start in the business.

Custom Candy Buffets: I love things that are pretty and candy certainly is that! I began creating custom candy creations for clients’ events and they were received so well that I thought, “There is something to this candy thing.” Then I began doing more and more event shows and expos and, since I am so competitive, I wanted all the attendees at my booth chatting with me and giving me the opportunity to earn their businesses! So, I created some really great Custom Candy Buffet Bars and just like that, I won! My booths were always swamped with guests and people flipped for my candy.

TWY: So, candy buffets started to pop up around wedding receptions about three years ago. Is this trend still going strong?

CCB: We certainly think this trend will stick around for a long time coming! People have actually been enjoying candy stations for quite sometime now. I remember when I attended Bat & Bar Mitzvahs many moons ago the candy station was always a huge hit with the kids, but even more so with the adults! Now you see them at all types of events from weddings to corporate events and they are great for marketing promotions, too.

TWY: There’s enough food and sweets at a typical wedding reception. Between the hors d’oeuvres, entrees, wedding cake, and of course that open bar, why should a bride and groom choose to also have a candy bar at their wedding?

CCB: Weddings are a fantastic place for a candy buffet especially when the bride and groom would like guests to give something to take away with them. Candy buffets also are a super fun DIY favor, a great conversation piece, and can enhance the events’ decor, often adding a fun, whimsical touch.

TWY: So what’s the best way to set up a candy buffet? Do you start with your color palette? And obviously, the whole set up has to look great. Almost as great as the bride, right?

CCB: The bride always outshines every person, place, and thing on her wedding day! We like to start with design consultations, or as we call them, candy consults. We create inspiration boards and discuss theme and color schemes as well.

TWY: Is there such thing as too much? What’s the perfect amount of candy for a guest list of, say, 200 people?

CCB: This is such a popular question and we simply say, Go Big! More is always merrier when it comes to candy! For 200 guests, a nice variety is encouraged and of course the type of candy you will have will always depend on the color scheme you select.

TWY: What else besides candy do you need for a successful candy buffet?

CCB: Great Decor!

TWY: Brides normally do a DIY candy bar. How should they shop for the candy selections?

CCB: To each her own. As they say, “there are no rules in Candy Land.” Every budget is different, too, so determining how much you’d like to spend on your candy buffet will also determine the types of candy you purchase.

TWY: Is there a must-have candy that belongs in every wedding candy buffet?

CCB: Gummy candy, sours or chocolate.

TWY: You get around to some of the coolest weddings and events! Tell us about one of your favorite set ups.

CCB: We’ve created some fabulous events for Oprah and her staff at her new network OWN. We created a colorful tropical candy buffet, a vintage circus, and have created some super cute custom candy baskets too! I mean it’s OPRAH and everything she and her staff does is fabulous!

TWY: Speaking of set ups, do couples have to provide their own canisters or do you rent them for the event?

CCB: Our services are all inclusive. Our clients do not have to bother with anything at their event. We make everyone’s life easy! We design, create, set up, maintain the candy buffet, clean up, and pick up once it’s all over.

TWY: I’m sure there are now couples that are craving some sugar at their weddings after reading this! Do you travel? Where do you go? Are you rackin’ up the frequent flyer miles?

CCB: We are nationwide and YES, we fly and ship and do it all!

TWY: What are the hottest and trendiest candies to feature at a candy buffet?

CCB: I find that people flip for sour candy like sour belts, Sour Patch Kids, sour apple rings, etc.

TWY: What are your favorite color schemes or styles?

CCB: I LOVE a fabulous colorful candy buffet — think rainbow colors. It looks fantastic every time!

TWY: What are some candy buffet no-nos?

CCB: Think about the weather. If it’s too hot you should limit the types of candy that will melt, like chocolates and caramels and even some gummy candy will melt with extreme heat. Be careful when selecting containers. Some may look fantastic, but the are not functional so guests will have a hard time trying to reach the candy in the containers. Always keep it clean and sanitary. Our Candy Girls (Attendants) assist guests with selections and keep everything looking fantastic throughout your event.

TWY: Is it good to feature a variety? Is it okay to have some chocolate, some sour, some sugary, some salty? Or, is it better to stick with one kind of taste palette?

CCB: This depends on your candy vision. A variety is always good but some colors are more challenging to source candy for.

TWY: I’m a chocolate girl. I also dig a good gummy animal — worm, bear — I don’t discriminate. What’s your favorite candy?

CCB: Ummm, kind of hard to answer but I’ll say … jelly beans (the old school kind).

TWY: You take out ALL the calories in all your candy bar set ups, right?? RIGHT????? 🙂

CCB: OH YES! We tell our clients, “Our candy makes you skinny, pretty, and popular so eat up!”

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Jackie Sorkin is Hollywood’s resident candy girl and creator of custom candy bars to the stars. But she’s so much more! Jackie is a mom and business woman who is building her candy empire. Jackie and her company, Custom Candy Buffets has a reality show and product lines all in the works. People seem to also enjoy the ridiculous photos of her baby, Bella, The Heiress to the candy empire. Jackie Sorkin loves candy and her little girl, giving a whole new meaning to Sugar Mama.