The Wedding Yentas™ | A Guide for the Jewish Bride!™

Real Weddings | Beverly Hills, CA

Posted on September 20, 2011 by Alison in Real Jewish Weddings

It all began in the winter of 2007 on the very first Pathways Israel trip. Through a series of random seat changes, Danielle and Jason ended up sitting next to each other on the eleven-hour plane ride from New York to Israel. Needless to say, that was plenty of time to establish a connection, and they both enjoyed learning about their Jewish heritage and visiting cultural sites together during their two weeks in Israel. After the trip, Danielle went back to Michigan and Jason went back to California. However, as fate would have it, Danielle landed a teaching job in California and moved across the country eight months later.

As time went on, Jason and Danielle grew together in their Jewish observance. By the time Jason proposed during a visit to Ojai, California the weekend before Danielle’s birthday, the couple knew that they wanted to have a traditional Orthodox wedding. Jason made a beautiful speech at the tish as Danielle greeted all of her guests. Danielle’s most emotional moment was when she and Jason saw each other for the first time in a week as Jason placed the veil over her face during the bedeken. After the ceremony, which was held in the beautiful main sanctuary at Nessah Synagogue, the couple and their guests danced to traditional Jewish music and enjoyed a delicious kosher lunch. By the end of the day, everyone was exhausted from all of the dancing. Guests of all religious backgrounds and observance levels had a blast.

Mazel tov, Danielle and Jason!

Venue- Nessah Synagogue
Photographer- David Miller Studios
Music- Nefesh Music
Catering/Coordination- Simply Perfect Desserts and Catering
Linens & Vases- Heavenly Party Decorations
Videographer- Video Keepsakes
Flowers- A Flower Snob
Jeweler- Sean’s Jewelers
Officiant- B’nai David Judea
Kippahs & Benchers- A1 Skullcap
Ketubah- Ketubah.com

real-jewish-weddings-|-beverly-hills,-ca

Wedding Party Planning

Posted on September 19, 2011 by Alison in Planning

A few weeks ago, my husband and I sat around the table eating and talking (it’s what our people do best, no?) with my sister-in-law and her boyfriend who, according to my crystal ball (and the boyfriend) will be engaged in the quite near future (hooray!). Soon, SIL will be another bride who scours wedding blogs (and we all know which one will be her favorite, right? RIGHT???), and she will be tasked with the millions of decisions that go into planning a wedding.

During our dinner table chat, we were discussing the difficult choices of selecting a wedding party. For SIL’s boyfriend, the options were pretty simple and easily assumed. For SIL, the situation was different: should she pick bridesmaids who she has history with and has known a long time, but isn’t currently close to? Or should she choose gals who she knows are true friends right now, but maybe don’t have seniority compared to others? Naturally one of her options is easy (ahem!), but rounding out the rest of her party requires more thought. And then, it dawned on her, should the amount of bridesmaids equal to the amount of groomsmen? This round table conversation went in spirals as we analyzed the ins and outs of choosing the wedding party.

I don’t necessarily think there’s one right or wrong answer. But for discussion’s sake, I’ll share our conversation and what it came down to.

The bridesmaids are part of an exciting time in a bride’s life. They definitely have a required presence on the wedding day, but usually play parts in the months leading up to the chuppah as there are dress shopping, bridal showers, and bachelorette party dates to add to the calendar. Since that’s a pretty hefty commitment, it’s in the bride’s best interest to choose women who will be around for a long time, preferably, ya know, for life. So, the tennis partner du jour at the country club is probably not the best option.

We also agreed that friends come in many different categories. Friends from the category called We’ve Known Each Other Forever And Passed Notes In Sixth Grade During Math Class And You Were There For Me When I Got My First Period And We Saw Each Other During Our Breaks Home From College But Don’t Really Talk As Much Anymore, well, as nice as it is to know people from that far back, probably don’t belong in your bridal party either.

So there’s a fine line. The Way Backs and the Right Nows. SIL and I decided that the Right Nows who will certainly turn into In The Long Runs are the best option. They are excited for your bridal adventure and they know you best as a bride and, most likely, your husband-to-be as well. The odds are in your favor that you have more in common with them during this stage of your life and that the quality of friendship is equitable on both sides. If you are a lucky girl to have that lifelong friend that you’ve stayed closed with through all the stages of life, then by all means, that is a girl who is going to be one rockstar bridesmaid. But don’t let nostalgia take over your wedding party. Embrace your current friends and tell them that they mean so much to you and you’ll enjoy the experience even more with them by your side on your wedding day, but also throughout your marriage.

As for the equal amount of ladies and gents in the wedding party: personal preference! SIL and her boyfriend were pairing up their potential bridesmaids and groomsmen together to walk down the aisle two by two, but when their amounts didn’t even up and there were some men without a lady, they scratched their heads — conundrum!– and I said “Feh! Why do they need to pair up? Give each one their time in the spotlight and let them do a solo mosey down the aisle!” Eureka! So, there’s that. Don’t have an equal group? That’s so okay. Pair some up? Sure! Make them all go solo? Fine! Do a three-way saunter, linked arms, Wizard of Oz-style? Why not!

And then we realized there are no rules. When it comes to picking out your bridesmaids or choreographing who walks with who and when, just remember, it’s your wedding! It’s going to be unique anyway because there are no two people like you and your lovey in the world. So, why should your wedding be like every other wedding in the world? Make decisions that suit you best, that you feel comfortable with, and that will make you happy for years to come as you look back on your wedding day.

So You Think You Can Hora Dance

Posted on September 15, 2011 by Alison in Jewish Traditions

You and your groom got through the ceremony. The glass is broken. You spent time alone. The guests are enjoying cocktails. It’s time for your grand entrance. You’ll probably show off your first dance. And most likely, right after, you and of your closest family and friends will gallop onto the dance floor and the Jewish instinct kicks in “Fiddler On The Roof”-style: you and your wedding guests grapevine your way into a festive hora dance.

Dance has always been a part of the cultural element of Judaism, usually incorporated into celebratory occasions as early as Exodus 15:20, which was when Miriam led the women in rhythmic dances after the crossing of the Sea of Reeds from Egyptian slavery to freedom. Today, dance also inspires spiritual expression.

So, it’s no wonder that the hora is the norm-a at Jewish weddings. It’s a time to celebrate and honor traditions!

The hora, also sometimes spelled, horah, is danced in 6 beats, usually to the song “Hava Nagila”:

Form a circle with your guests and hold hands
Step out on your left foot
Put your right foot behind your left
Step out on your left foot again
Kick your right foot out
Kick your left foot out
Repeat until you’re pooped!

Have you ever mushed up a bunch of Yiddish-sounding words and faked the lyrics, because, really, you have NO idea what the words are? Admit it, you have no idea. Thanks to the Yentas, now, you can dance and sing the right words:

Hava nagila (Let’s rejoice)
Hava nagila (Let’s rejoice)
Hava nagila v’nismecha (Let’s rejoice and be happy)

Hava neranenah (Let’s sing)
Hava neranenah (Let’s sing)
Hava neranenah v’nismecha (Let’s sing and be happy)

Uru, uru achim! (Awake, awake, brothers!)
Uru achim b’lev sameach (Awake brothers with a happy heart)

Uru achim, uru achim! (Awake, brothers, awake, brothers!)
B’lev sameach (With a happy heart)

Somewhere during the dance, your cousins or the fathers or even some shnockered groomsmen will grab some chairs, lift you up, and toss you around while you hold on for dear life. This makes for some fabulous photos! Word to the wise: Have your venue set aside two arm chairs near the dance floor just for this portion of the evening. Emphasis on the ARM chairs. You’ll want something to grab on to. Trust us!!

A mother or an aunt will probably toss a napkin at you. This is not because you have chicken skewer sauce on your face left over from cocktail hour. This is because there’s an Orthodox rule that women and men, including the bride and groom, cannot touch, therefore, dance together. When the bride and groom hold on to each end of the napkin, they can “dance” together up in the chairs without touching. Conservative and Reform couples usually incorporate this tradition in their hora dances due to its festive nature, even if they’re not having an Orthodox wedding.

And now we leave you with a video of a hora at a wedding by Perspective Video. It’s such a fun way to get the party started!

hora-chair-lift

Image courtesy of Next Exit Photography.

The Sounds of Your Wedding Video

Posted on September 14, 2011 by Alison in Inside Scoop

Music is a big part of your wedding day. Deciding on the music that will play as you walk down the aisle, the song that will orchestrate your first dance as husband and wife, and even the tunes that underscore your cake cutting are important choices as they help paint the picture of the mood you want to create.

But after your wedding day, you should still enjoy melodies that represent your day. Was it a dark, sexy, and romantic wedding? Was it a bright, cheery, and playful event? Was it modern and chic with the latest trends? The music of your wedding video should also complement the style of your wedding day.

While watching the fabulous work of Generations Cinemastories, I really noticed the music that played behind the cinematography. I found it so moving and representative of the kinds of weddings these couples created and the personalities of the bride and groom. A good videographer not only shoots and edits the highlights of your day, but will also weave in music that triggers important moments.

A wedding with rich Jewish tradition may have spiritual songs and warmth in its wedding video. A romantic and lavish affair will have a slow and instrumental ballad. You’ve hired your cinematographer because you wanted an artist who will capture your day in a visual style that matches your taste. But don’t forget, too, that the sounds of your video — the truly unique reason to hire a videographer — offer another opportunity to relive the feelings you felt on the day you got married. Because Generations Cinemastories and their colleagues are are excellent movie artists, you can trust that they’ll find the right music to showcase your day.

I love watching highlights reels and choking up when I hear sweet songs during the “First Look” or getting pumped up when I hear a party tune to go along with the guests’ showing off on the dance floor. Watch your video and enjoy. And then watch it again and give it a really good listen. Another layer unfolds.

And your ears will rejoice!

Real Weddings | Montgomery, AL

Posted on September 13, 2011 by Alison in Real Jewish Weddings

Two cultures come together in one wedding with the focus on love. Rachel and Nikko met as teenagers and wanted their long history together and their close-knit families to play a primary role in their Jewish and Filipino infused wedding. The chuppah was most important because the couple wants to always feel protected and bonded throughout their lives. Nikko broke the glass at the end of the ceremony in order to remember the great city of Jerusalem and Rachel’s heritage.

Rachel’s father, who conducted the ceremony, instructed Nikko to break the glass and Nikko was so nervous that it wouldn’t break during the big moment. So after the first stomp, he nervously looked at Rachel’s father then stomped on it again and asked, “Did I break it?” Everyone laughed as Rachel’s father said, “Yup!” and of course they now live happily ever after.

Mazel tov, Rachel and Nikko!

Venue- 129 Coosa
Photographer- Chelsea Patricia Photography
DJ- Oz Entertainment

real-jewish-weddings-|-montgomery,-alabama