Author Archives: Alison

From The Expert: How To Hire A Wedding Band

Posted on March 26, 2012 by Alison in Featured, From the Expert, Inside Scoop, Planning

Get your dancing shoes on and get inspired to start your search for your wedding band! Ken Arlen of Arlen Music drops by today for Part I of a two-parter that’s all about learning the ins and outs of hiring a group to play live tunes for your big day. Ready to start shopping for your band? Read on to find out how to successfully and intelligently check off this important item on your to-do list!

As a bandleader, I can appreciate the tough decision each bride and groom face when deciding on the best entertainment for their wedding. We all know that a great band or orchestra can make or break a special event. Although every wedding I perform is different and unique, I believe my clients are looking for one universal result – they want a combination of elegance and fun, with fun being the operative word!

“We want all of our guests on the dance floor celebrating with us all night!”

The experience of sharing this day with all of your friends and family is so powerful it is hard to put into words. I like to ask my couples, “If we are sitting here four weeks after your wedding, what had to happen for you to be completely thrilled with your celebration experience?” This is how I tune into what will make their wedding special and unique.

As I have grown my entertainment company over the years, I now have five bands that can deliver the above result. But my friends and clients often ask me, especially if my bands are not available, how do we decide? What process should we follow to find the best music for our wedding?

Here are six tips that I feel would be helpful:

1. Understand the lingo — everyone wonders about the difference between a wedding band and orchestra. A dance orchestra is a larger band, usually with multiple vocalists, a horn section, and a violin section. For example, my 15-piece Ken Arlen Orchestra has five rhythm, three horns, three violins, and four lead vocalists!

2. Recognize that you have to find a band that plays not only the music you like, but also music that will be received well by all of your guests including your friends, your parents’ friends, and your grandparents. This requires a high level of versatility and an extensive repertoire. There is no reason why your band should not sound incredible in all styles. No compromise!

3. Start by getting referrals from your family, friends, and especially other professionals in the event industry. When you think about it, photographers are a great referral source since their primary job is to document the experience in the room. Just like your bandleader, you are hiring them to pay close attention to everything that is happening. Many photographers tell me they love working with Arlen Bands because the guests are more animated and have more fun, thus the images they capture are more interesting!

4. Ask your venue for their referrals. Having a band that has experience performing at your venue and has a working relationship with the venue staff is a definite advantage.

5. Keep in mind that you may have a favorite club band, but if they do not have experience performing at a wedding, I can guarantee that you will not be happy with the result. Leading a band at a wedding requires a specific skill that takes years of experience to develop.

6. Look for a great bandleader. I often tell clients that great music is only half of what makes a wedding successful. The other half is the bandleader’s ability to read the crowd, customize the music to your desire, keep the pace of the evening as MC, and effortlessly implement a well conceived itinerary that flows from when the doors open to the end of the night!

Let’s assume after following the above advice you have your top bands lined up. Of course you will peruse their web site, but you need to take the time to meet with your prospective bandleader to make your best decision.

Come back on Thursday to read up on Part II from Ken Arlen to read about qualities to look for and rapports to have when selecting your dream wedding band!

****************

With over 25 years of experience and a stellar reputation with venues, wedding planners and past clients, Arlen Music has the knowledge, talent and resources to make your wedding reception one that you and your guests will never forget. The Arlen Music bands have ignited hundreds of wedding receptions with the unique Arlen Music style and contemporary music selection. Following the success of the Ken Arlen Orchestra, Arlen Music began offering additional bands in the KAO mold. Over the years, demand has led to more diverse offerings, ranging from traditional string quartets (perfect for ceremony music), and a variety of fabulous dinner entertainment such as a rock and roll violin show and Oh What A Night, a tribute to the hit Broadway musical Jersey Boys. Music plays a powerful role at your celebration. Make it memorable by contacting Arlen Music.

Pingback: From The Expert: 7 Things To Know About Your Band | The Wedding Yentas™ | A Guide for the Jewish Bride!™

Hey Shorty, It’s Your Wedding Day

Posted on March 22, 2012 by Alison in Featured, From The Yentas, Gotta Have It

…we’re gonna party like it’s your wedding day.

No, no, I’m not calling you short (although there is nothing wrong with being short, ahem ahem!… Says the 5-foot-1-inch Wedding Yenta). I’m simply suggesting some inspiration for a short wedding dress.

Tuesday’s Real Wedding inspired me! Marissa looked super chic and sophisticated in her to-the-knee white cocktail dress from Sak’s.

If you’re having an intimate wedding, an artsy wedding, a beachy wedding, a courthouse wedding, or a destination wedding, a short dress may just be for you! And maybe you have killer legs or you just do not want that big pouffy dress. That is a-okay in my book! Short wedding dresses can still make a statement with fabulous style and current trends.

You can still keep Jewish traditions alive with a short wedding dress. If you need your shoulders covered, there are some great boleros or cardigans that would add even more style to the entire look. And if you plan to wear a veil, there is no better way to go with a birdcage! So if you’re on spilkes that you have to wear a traditional wedding gown in order to keep your vows kosher under the chuppah, you can still have a Jewish wedding and stay true to your style and what you love.

The long and short of it is: you can totally pull of the short wedding dress!

And now we’ve reached the portion of this post where we get to stare at photos. Because, really, who doesn’t like to stare at photos of pretty dresses?

Kate Spade New York 'Gimlet' Silk Sheath Dress from Nordstrom

Robert Rodriguez Black Label Daniela Bead-Top Dress from Neiman Marcus

Albury Gown by Watters

Sue Wong Organza Petal Sheath Dress from Nordstrom

8154 by Watters

Lela Rose Brocade Sheath Dress from Neiman Marcus

A Bride’s Involvement with Her Bridesmaids

Posted on March 21, 2012 by Alison in Inside Scoop

A couple weeks ago, the post about the Maid of Honor’s role in the wedding party was a hit among Yentas readers and helped explain the duties for women waiting in the wings to fill those shoes.

The article talked about her MOH as the bride’s personal heroine of the wedding — the one who helps saves the day should anything go wrong or requires assistance. What the article did not touch on was a bride’s role in the wedding party as a whole, and how much of a role, if any — other than showing up, looking pretty, and saying “I do” — she should have with the other gals.

The post received a comment that is worth addressing for all to read as it is something I wondered as well when I was a bride.

The comment from Bride-to-Be:

This is quite a job! Why do I feel such guilt about putting so much work on a friend’s shoulders? How much involvement should a bride have with the bridesmaids beyond choosing them?

Thanks, Bride-to-Be, for your question and sharing your thoughts with the rest of the Yentas.

It’s not easy to be waited on, hand and foot, without any guilt. Even if it’s someone’s job — as it is the MOH’s — it’s difficult to accept such generosity and good intentions.

I say, accept it with grace! This is an appropriate time to count on your best girlfriends, especially your MOH, for anything. The day only happens once and the months and events leading up to it are a snapshot in time. The year-ish of wedding planning is not forever so the generosity and good intentions are really, actually, short lived.

Also, a bride picks these special women not because they’re pretty and make great arm candy to the wedding scene. Okay, maybe that, too! But, really, a bride picks these special women because she knows she can count on them, she has a history of happy memories with them, and considers them to have long term presence in her life. If they were fleeting friends or unreliable women, a bride would — hopefully — not have picked them. Most likely, each friend serves a purpose. Maybe there’s the quiet listener who will provide the platform you need to share your ideas and feelings. Maybe there’s the funny one who will distract you when you’re stressed. Maybe there’s the crafty one who will help you sort out your creative ideas. Maybe there’s the knowledgeable one who’s been a bride before or has an inside understanding of weddings.

The Maid of Honor is the one you can count on, no matter what. And of course she doesn’t mind doing her job. In fact, it’s an honor. It’s in her title, after all.

So how much involvement should the bride have with her bridesmaids other than choosing them? Well, that depends on the type of wedding, girlfriends, and bride. Generally, I would say that the bride can give input to her MOH who is the Commander in Chief. For example, if a bride wants to make sure that her bachelorette party is not a chippendale’s fling fest and would prefer a tame and more G-rated spa day, then that would be a good reason for the bride to get involved. Should she plan the whole spa day down to the last cucumber water and hot stone? No, no! It’s okay to hint at what she wants, but it’s not okay for her to take charge and plan everything herself. Otherwise, what’s the point of having the support system?

When it comes to bridesmaid wardrobe or dates for events, the bride can again assume that her MOH will liaise with the rest of the party. The bride can tell the MOH the information about which shoes to purchase or the hair stylist’s rates, but she can just as quickly tell the MOH the information and then forget about it because her trusted confidant and partner in wedding crime will deliver the messages to the other gals so the bride can focus on her other lists, decisions, and ideas.

The bride can be involved, however, to show gratitude and appreciation. Thanking them through emails and words on the day of the wedding will always be welcomed. The positive experience that the bride creates for her bridesmaids will provide a positive experience for everyone.

So, brides, do not feel like you need to be busy with bridesmaid business. You chose these girls because you can count on them. Therefore, count your way to the chuppah and they’ll be there to greet you with smiles and love.

Real Jewish Weddings | Philadelphia, PA

Posted on March 20, 2012 by Alison in Real Jewish Weddings

During junior year of college, Marissa’s good friend Georgia met Ben in a Philosophy class. Georgia was attached but felt that Ben was just too awesome not to date, so she made it her mission to set Ben up with one of her nearest and dearest. Though her set-up attempts were unsuccessful, Marissa and Ben did become friends along the way. After graduation, Marissa and Ben found themselves living just blocks away from each other in Philadelphia and with similar work schedules, which included Fridays off every week. Those Fridays turned in to standing lunch dates, which turned in to 7th grade style flirting, and soon enough, a full- fledged relationship.

For their wedding, Marissa and Ben were excited to share their Philadelphia home and their family traditions. Marissa is Jewish and Ben is Quaker. The ceremony included a chuppah (which Ben built himself), Jewish wedding prayers (performed by Marissa’s dad with the Kiddush cup from his own Bar Mitzvah), and the breaking of the glass (courtesy of ModernTribe, recommended by the Wedding Yentas), all within a Quaker silent meaningful worship. As part of the Quaker ceremony, Marissa and Ben exchanged their own vows without an officiant, also known as “self-uniting” marriage and then there was a period of silence in which attendees were invited to speak if they felt moved to do so. The silence was then broken along with the glass and a hearty “Mazel Tov” from the crowd! Marissa and Ben also mixed traditions with a Quaker wedding certificate decorated with Ketubeh-like embellishments. Similar to the Ketubah, the Quaker certificate is signed by the bride and groom, but in addition to the signatures of two additional loved ones, every attendee of the wedding signs it as everyone in attendance is considered to be part of upholding the marriage.

Mazel tov, Marissa and Ben!

real-jewish-weddings-|-philadelphia,-pa

Photographer: Conrad Erb Photography
Ceremony and Cocktail Venue: National Society of The Colonial Dames of America
Reception Venue & Caterer: Estia Restaurant
Cocktail Hour Caterer: Diverse Catering
Dress: Saks Fifth Avenue
Hair Stylist: Charlie Salon
Favors: Metropolitan Bakery
Invitations / Stationery / Wedding Certificate: Sarah Atwater Bourne
Groom’s Suit: J. Crew
Seating Chart: Marisa Geiger, friend of the bride

Another Wedding Tradition Unveiled

Posted on March 19, 2012 by Alison in Jewish Traditions

You’ve heard of wedding horror stories. You’ve probably even had wedding nightmares.

The flowers were dead.
The bride’s dress didn’t fit.
The food was inedible.

While planning my own wedding, I kept having this recurring bad dream that we forgot to send out the invitations and no one showed up on the day of the wedding! What a random worry to have. And this dream kept happening even after I actually did send out the invitations. Of course, everything was fine and we didn’t even have any RSVP issues! Phew!

But the worst wedding faux pas happened long ago. The bad news is not that the chair covers were the wrong color or that the DJ was a drunk… but the groom married the wrong bride!

It was the wedding of Jacob and Rachel and the groom thought he was marrying the right gal, but it turns out he didn’t check whose punim was hiding under the veil and, oops! It was Leah, Rachel’s sister, instead!

And this is why one of the oldest Jewish wedding traditions calls for a bedeken, or veiling. This ceremony occurs after the ketubah has been signed and before the chuppah portion. The groom approaches the bride and places the veil over her face to personally guarantee that yes, that is the face of the woman he intends to marry.

The bedeken ceremony is also a happy time! The bride sits in a throne-like chair and everyone around her dances and sings. The other women admire the bride for her beauty and offer her words of advice. Sounds like fun, right? A few umbrella drinks and a pedicure, and you have yourselves a real party!

The veil over the bride makes her “hekdesh,” which translate to, literally, “set apart in holiness.” Beauty may fade in time (although, future Chanukah presents to the bride’s self may be a lunch time trip to Dr. Botox…. shh, don’t tell), but a woman’s spiritual appreciation is a quality that never leaves. The veil physically separates the bride from the groom, which is a little way of noting that even in marriage, the two partners still remain unique, distinct individuals. Remembering this helps the couple work as a team as they aim for success in whatever they do.

Image courtesy of Stacy Newgent