Category Archives: Featured

Thrilled to welcome, once again, Cantor Debbi Ballard of My Personal Cantor, who spreads her usual wisdom for a stress-free wedding-planning experience. This piece will hit home for interfaith couples who are nervous about the politics of family and religion when it comes to building a wedding ceremony. But, as usual, in her wise and funny way, Cantor Debbi explains how this experience can actually be delightful and eye-opening.

You might be thinking that planning your Jewish/Interfaith wedding will be all about the conflict, but you can create a ceremony that everyone will love. By focusing on the relationship, and choosing traditions and readings to honor both sides, your family and guests will love what you create.

Many of my clients begin their interfaith wedding plans with strong feelings of fear and trepidation. They often fear their family members will not approve, and they are overwhelmed with fear of offending a single guest by their ceremony choices. But today’s interfaith weddings can be crafted so that everyone not only feels comfortable, but honored, by your commitment to be fair and inclusive to both parties’ faith and heritage.

When a couple comes to me, most often one of them is Jewish. They are afraid that if they include Jewish traditions, they will offend the non Jewish partner’s family. Likewise, a mention of Jesus could be just enough to send that Yiddeshe bubbe flying for the nearest exit! You can create balance, but in order to do so, it requires a lot of open communication and a little strategy.

The first thing I recommend is keep everything as close to neutral as you can. Keep the foreign language to a minimum, and try not to “name” your spiritual reference. If you can agree that you both believe in G-d, then that will suffice when invoking a spiritual presence.

There are a few major components of a Jewish wedding that most people want to include. The chuppah, the ketubah, the wine, and breaking the glass, are all traditional rituals that are meaningful. Incorporate these into your ceremony, and ask your officiant to go into detail to explain what those rituals are, and why we include them. The more you explain, the less alienated your non-Jewish guests will feel, and everyone will appreciate the time you took to make them feel comfortable.

For every ritual or tradition from the Jewish faith you choose, choose another from your other faith like a song or a reading that invokes spiritual presence provides a beautiful balance. Incorporate a unification ceremony, such as a sand ceremony or unity candle. Readings such as the Apache Wedding Poem, or readings from Kalil Gibran also invoke spirituality without isolating.

Choose an officiant who is highly experienced in crafting wedding ceremonies that reflect your backgrounds. Ask to see samples of ceremonies that the officiant has written, to see exactly how he or she blended the rituals of past clients, and imagine yourself sitting in the room listening to the wedding you are reading. Was it fair? Did it honor both sides? Did you feel embraced and included, rather than out of place? Most people don’t mind hearing something new if you deliver it in just the right way.

I have found that the more I explain in a service, the more appreciative the non-Jewish guests are, and even the Jewish guests often learn something they didn’t know. Your parents will appreciate that you took the time to balance each side, and so will your guests. In the end, you will have a ceremony that focuses on your love, not your differences. Focus on the aspects that bring you together, and your guests will feel honored that they were asked to be a part of that. Stay true to who each of you are, and recognize that it is also your differences, as well as your similarities, that make each one interesting to the other. When both are honored, conflict cannot exist.

Your wedding then becomes a celebration of your individuality, and the commitment you are making to come together as one. With tolerance, understanding, patience and communication, your Jewish/interfaith wedding ceremony will be absolutely beautiful.

After more than 20 years in corporate management, Cantor Debbi Ballard decided to pursue the passions of her heart, and combine her love for music, faith, and people into the most rewarding career of her life! Today, as a Cantor specializing in performing Jewish and Interfaith weddings, you might find her officiating a ceremony in Florida, The Caribbean, Mexico, or even on top of a mountain! Debbi is known throughout the world for creating personalized, spiritual ceremonies, filled with warmth and passion. Her deep sensitivity for people, eloquence, and dynamic personality, help her create wedding ceremonies her clients and guests remember for a lifetime! Visit Cantor Ballard online at www.mypersonalcantor.com.

3, 2, 1, ACTION! Time to discuss wedding cinematography and why a videographer shouldn’t be the last vendor to call a week before the big day. Capturing your wedding on film is just as important as hiring a photographer and all of your other must-have vendors. Daniel Jankovic of Ahava Films has the creative background and passion for Jewish weddings to be able to share the four reasons why hiring a videographer should be at the top of your to-do list!

What will you remember about your wedding on your 10th anniversary? How about your 25th? In the midst of planning a wedding and its numerous components including catering, decor, music, and more, it’s important to plan how all of the day’s splendor will be captured… forever.

Both photography and cinematography are key elements in preserving the precious moments on your wedding day. In fact, it is crucial that the photographer and cinematographer work together as a team to get the best shots they can. This creates a friendly atmosphere for the wedding party and guests, and it also ensures that the pictures and video will not feature the camera man obscuring the most beautiful shots.

One bride shared with me that her photographer was actually front and center in all of the chuppah video footage. This can be easily avoided with the right team.

I strongly encourage brides and grooms to ask their photographer or cinematographer who they recommend for photos/video, as they can rest assured that the people who will be preserving their memories are in sync.

While wedding cinematography may not be such a high priority in your wedding checklist, I would like to suggest that cinematography should be given serious consideration for the following reasons:

Emotion
My clients (mostly the brides) tell me that they cry each time they watch their wedding film. The facial expressions, gestures, and words of the happy couple, friends, and family are captured forever in this medium. Often couples reflect back on their big day recalling the great joy of being surrounded by so many of their closest friends and family. The emotional impact of a wedding film comes through not only in the editing, but in the ability to capture extended periods of action. While families will always revel in the wedding portraits adorning their homes and albums forever, video can capture the tears rolling down a bride’s cheek as a groom pours out his love to his bride under the Chuppah.

Audio
It’s not only images we capture, but the sounds of the day. The speeches, the music, the sound of the breaking glass – these are just a few of the pieces of your wedding that are captured by a capable cinematographer. Most cinematographers go to great lengths to put a wireless microphone on the Rabbi to capture his momentous speech. We also connect to the sound system so we can have a clean CD-quality recording of the music played as you walk down the aisle, or as you dance together for the first time as a married couple. At a recent wedding, instead of a groom saying traditional vows, he played “Marry Me” by Train on guitar, which had the bride in tears. Thank G-d, this beautiful moment was captured not only visually, but aurally as well, which I’m sure will be a special memory for years to come.

Movement
Whether it’s the placing of the ring on the finger, the lifting of the chairs in the air, or the slicing of the white frosting-covered cake, cinematography preserves these actions in their entirety. The reaction of a groom seeing his bride for the first time in her wedding dress is priceless. And when a couple wants to remember the moves of their first dance together, their wedding film will be the perfect resource.

Memories
A common thought after a wedding is “It happened so fast!” After months, and maybe years of planning, it’s over in a matter of hours. For a bride and groom, a wedding can be such an intense experience that it’s nearly impossible to take it all in. I recently spoke with a bride whose wedding I shot, and she was convinced that certain people did not attend the wedding. When she saw the video and saw the people in reference, she realized how much she missed by being so wrapped up in the moment. Capturing these moments on video is a treat not only for you, but for future generations. My wife and I have three kids now, and they love watching our wedding video. It gives them a real sense for who we are, and where they come from, and also gets them excited about their own weddings.

All in all, I can’t count how many times I’ve heard brides and grooms thank themselves for investing in a wedding film. After opening up all their wedding gifts, their memories are often the most precious, and it’s a true privilege to be a part of preserving them forever.

Ahava Films Short Reel from Ahava Films on Vimeo.

After graduating from the USC School of Cinematic Arts, Daniel pursued his passion for producing cinematic, soulful wedding videos in Los Angeles. He started an event videography company called Famedia in 2005, and opened up Ahava Films in 2010 to focus on Jewish wedding cinematography in and around Los Angeles. When Daniel is not shooting weddings, you’ll find him sharpening his skills as he captures the memories of his wife and family of three children.