Category Archives: Inside Scoop

Kendra Scott Gives You Wedding Day Sparkle

Posted on February 18, 2013 by Alison in Featured, Gotta Have It, Inside Scoop

Recently, my friend and fellow wedding junkie, Beverly Harris of Beverly Harris Weddings and Events invited me for a lovely morning of bubbles and baubles! I was in the great company of other high end wedding vendors (a wedding blogger like me was in heaven, talking shop with the real pros!) as we sipped some champy and got googly eyes over stunning Kendra Scott jewelry inside the inviting and delightful Beverly Hills boutique.

Kendra Scott Color Bar

I’ve seen Kendra Scott in magazines and on celebrities, but I’d never personally handled the jewelry, and you guys, it’s gorgeous in person! And oh-so perfect for weddings! I can’t recommend Kendra Scott enough!

There are tons of options for you in store or online ready to go, and they would all make amazing gifts to your loved ones or even yourself (hey! you deserve pretty things, too!), but where I really gushed was the Color Bar.

What’s on tap at the Color Bar? Oh, you know, only the fantastic, high-end jewelry you expect with pretty much a rainbow (sans pot of gold — sorry) of colors to mix and match as you customize your bridal jewelry. YES. Customize. That’s like a bride’s favorite word.

All hail the Color Bar by Kendra Scott. I know this is a web site about Jewish weddings, but do you hear the angels singing?

I learned how the Color Bar works and was quite impressed with the process and it’s hardly even a “process.” The demonstration consisted of a touch screen, interactive experience! Cool geek overload! You can do this online, too. So, first you pick your style of jewelry. Pick your earrings/bracelet/ring/necklace and decide if you want it in gold or silver. Then choose your color gem. And, in theory, you’re done.

But say the piece you select is a chandelier earring with various spaces for stones. You can design your own pattern or arrangement of colored gems in each space. For example, online just now, I designed an ombre-style pair of chandelier earrings using shades of purple-ish tones. I was able to select the area and then click on the color. I made a few different versions before I settled on this one. See the progression of my build out.

Kendra Scott Color Bar

Cool, right?

Not into an ombre? Fine. You can do it all one color. Or just use two. Or go all Jackson Pollock and splatter color everywhere. No right, no wrong. You’re in control, sister. (Mmmmm. “Control.” Another favorite word for brides.).

I’m a big fan of color. I love colorful things and have a hard time sticking to muted tones. My own wedding was pink and orange with splashes of lime. So, I’m not kidding when I say I love color. But if you’re into black and white or charcoals or even just soft creams, you can still take advantage of the Color Bar and create the piece of jewelry that suits you. It’s all about you! And as it should be! Don’t ever let anyone tell you differently!

Kendra Scott Color Bar

So, when you’re looking for your bridal jewels, think about Kendra Scott! And the price points are absolutely affordable. I must admit I never purchased anything there because I assumed the prices were waaaa-aaaa-aaaay out of my budget and my husband would kill me. But I learned that their pieces are totally in most brides’ budgets so much so that you could probably customize a few pieces of jewelry. You need earrings for your bachelorette party, right? And you want something cute and sparkly to wear to your upcoming shower? Exactly.

Happy coloring with Kendra Scott!

Ontario, Canada After-Wedding Session

Posted on January 28, 2013 by Alison in Featured, Inside Scoop, winter weddings

So, perhaps you’ve heard of the photo shoot that some brides or newlyweds do after their wedding called a “Trash the Dress” shoot. The name of this style of shoot always makes me sad because there’s nothing more heartbreaking to me than TRASHING A WEDDING DRESS!! Gasp! I’ve seen the photos and they’re cool. They really are. But I could never! It hurts my brain to think about doing naughty things to a $1,000 or more piece of clothing with sentimental value and beauty.

But I love this term that I just learned thanks to Caroline Ross Photography: LOVE THE DRESS SESSION! Yes! Isn’t that great? You love your dress SO much that you want to pose and look fierce and do cool things in it after you’re all good and married. THIS, my friends, I find easy to approve!

I especially love that these two cuties embraced the winter wonderland of Garson, Ontario in Canada and dolled up their wedding gear with sweaters and winter accessories and, is that a sled? I don’t know. This Yenta is a native of Southern California. No matter, this romantic shoot in the snow is so special!

Wedding Photo Shoot in Snow

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Attacking The Cocktail Hour

Posted on January 16, 2013 by Alison in Ask The Yentas, Inside Scoop, Planning, Witty

2012 was definitely the year of love, as my husband and I attended five weddings from August to December! By now, we feel we have memorized the general wedding ceremony and have mastered the art of leaving a guestbook message. Three of those weddings were Jewish weddings, so we definitely got our fair share of Horah time, and if I don’t do another grapevine for a couple more months, my feet (in heels!) will be OK.

No, really, weddings are fun, and we are lucky that members of our circle of friends and family are tying the knot and joining the Marrieds Club.

All this wedding-guesting, though, has gotten my husband quite a reputation as the Cocktail Hour Stalker. It sounds creepier than it is. What this means is that his favorite time of the whole Wedding Olympics is that glorious hour between the “I do” and the dancing: Cocktail Hour, AKA sixty minutes of miniature food items being passed around on trays, like a real life episode of Downton Abbey.

By the fifth wedding of the year in Chicago, our friends at the wedding checked in with my husband to make sure he was OK. Not because he’d fallen on aisle treatments. Not because he drank too much during the toasts. But to make sure he’d had enough of those coveted mac and cheese cups, or tomato soup shots and mini grilled cheese sandwiches duets, or beef satay wraps. Apparently, his consumption and approval of the hors d’oeuvre were a front-and-center concern.

Floataway Studio

Cocktail houring is basically an artform. If you have upcoming weddings on your calendar, here are some ways to enjoy this foodtastic time, as demonstrated by Husband Yenta (Yento?):

There’s the obvious Stand At The Kitchen Exit method. After the ceremony, find the space between the exit and the kitchen. Make like a lion in the Serengeti and lie in wait. When the unsuspecting cocktail hour server appears with tray in hand, pounce.
However, the above tactic won’t work if the servers get smart to your method. At the last wedding we went to, the servers sprinted out of the kitchen avoiding the area where people congregated to get their paws on the grub. In that case, head toward the back of the room. Servers will also tend to cover this section to accommodate some more sedentary guests, like older folks. I’m NOT condoning you steal appetizers out of the hands of senior citizens. I’m merely advising an additional location for prosperous appetizer consumption.
Split up. Make alliances. This is serious business. Partner up with your wedding date or another friend in case the servers are onto your shenanigans. Each of you can take turns picking up appetizers and sharing them. Maybe you are on chicken skewer duty while your partner is in charge of bruschetta. Divide and conquer.
Make friends with the servers. One of the servers at a 2012 wedding was a bit of a cranky pants. Every time we’d try to take an appetizer from her tray, she’d run away. She even began to appear from the kitchen with NAPKINS ON TOP OF THE FOOD to HIDE it from US. She was on a mission to keep food out of our hungry bellies. So instead, we found a young, cute, not-a-sour-puss server and told him that Scowly Face over there wasn’t stopping for us and could he help a sista out? His perfectly Crest-whitened teeth sparkled and I swore I heard a “ding!” when he smiled. Sure enough, all the mac-and-cheese cups were ours to enjoy for eternity… if the cocktail hour had gone on that long. Besties for life, yo.
If all else fails, drink. It IS cocktail hour after all.

Standing Up For The Bride

Posted on January 9, 2013 by Alison in Inside Scoop, Planning

I had everything planned meticulously for my wedding, that I didn’t expect any surprises. I knew what my florals would look like. I knew what my band would sound like. I knew what my cake would taste like. I spent so much time researching and planning, that when it came to the actual day, I didn’t expect any surprises and I was right; everything went swimmingly. There was one aspect, though, that I never considered and that was the overwhelming and wonderful feeling of walking down the aisle with my parents to see people from all different parts of my life coming together to witness Bryan and me say, “I do.” I never anticipated what that would feel like, and it felt amazing.

As I walked to the instrumental of the Beatles’ “Here, There, and Everywhere,” and I came into sight, I saw our wedding guests rise and I was hit with an avalanche of emotion. It was the one detail I forgot about, that traditionally, the guests stand for the bride, and I was floored.

Eight20 Photography

You can see it in my wedding photos. I look like I am losin’ it, but I was just so beyond touched and in my head, I was girl-squealing like never before.

I totally forgot that this was, ya know, a “thing,” and so imagine my surprise this year when, at three of the five weddings I attended, as a guest or as the maid of honor, I had to initiate or cue the standing!

I’ve since done some research. I can’t find anything about the tradition or history of standing up for the bride other than back in the day, before people talked about Jewish weddings, when the bride walked down the aisle in church, the guests stood up, but it was more about worshipping God than the bride. However, this obviously doesn’t apply to a Jewish wedding ceremony, so what is the reason for standing up for the bride? The only reason I can come up with is that it’s out of respect. After all, a bride is considered a queen on her wedding day, and when the queen passes by, you stand!

At my sister-in-law’s wedding this year, I was already standing as the MOH, and I tried to signal everyone to stand when the bride walked down the aisle, but no one was looking at me (nor should they!) to notice my hand flipping up and down under my bouquet. At another wedding, I sat toward the front and as all of us in our seats could see the beautiful bride walking into the room, everyone continued to stare, but no one stood. It felt very wrong to me, so I turned to my husband and my friends in my row and whispered, “It’s stand up time!” People gradually followed my lead and stood up, and as the bride was halfway down the aisle, the guests were standing.

Henry Photographers

Perhaps you don’t want the guests to stand for you. Maybe it’s embarrassing. Maybe you think you don’t need to be viewed as a queen (I’m telling you that it’s OK to be a queen for the day, but to each her own!). And if that’s what you want, then you can stop reading now.

But if you are like me and you are concerned that there is an epidemic of not standing for the bride goin’ around (maybe everyone’s too busy Facebooking your photo in real time?) here are some pieces of advice:

Ask a yenta friend/someone who isn’t shy to lead the stand-up. Everyone is sheep. They’ll follow if one or two people to do it. They KNOW they’re supposed to and probably just forgot. So tell two friends in advance to stand up when it’s your time to walk down.
Have your officiant request that everyone stand for the bride. It doesn’t have to be a commandment from God. No tablets or mountain necessary. Just a soft, calm, “Please rise for the bride” on the mic.
Choose a song that’s different from the rest of the processional. This indicates that something big is about to go down, as in, the bride, herself, is coming down the aisle. Request that the music pause between songs to really drive the point. I know this sounds obnoxious, but no one will think that it is.
Indiciate it in your program. In your processional list, just before your name, the program can read “Friends and Family Rise for Bride” and then list your name and parents’ names. This is no different or more ballsy than listing the breaking of the glass and writing, “Everyone yells ‘Mazel tov!'” Even the audience sometimes needs stage directions.

However, if no one stands, it’s not the end of the world. The brides I’ve spoken to didn’t even notice! And, their photographers and videographers got money shots because no one was blocking their entrance or big stroll down the aisle.

Some people may have different opinions on the matter. Since I, ahem, sometimes offer my opinion on The Wedding Yentas, I will say that I am a pro-stander. I like standing up for the bride and it’s the moment I always get emotional. I stand up, stare at her beauty, and as she passes me, I smile so big to let her know I have her back on her most special day. I’ve stood up for her.

Mazel Tov! Oh, and Here Are Some Hidden Wedding Costs

Posted on January 2, 2013 by Alison in From the Expert, From The Yentas, Inside Scoop, Planning

Happy New Year! Many of you are Yentas rookies, having just gotten engaged during this holiday season and it’s just all so exciting! First, big fat juicy mazels to you on such exciting news! Second, after you were finally able to take your eyes off your brand new bling, you probably stayed awake at night and made preliminary wedding plans now that it’s socially acceptable to do so. Along with those heady first plans, you start to think about a guest list and then numbers and then dollars and then… and then… Crap, now you have to get out of bed to plug in your iPad and make a Google docs spreadsheet.

Before you execute your Pinterest boards to become real, living ideas that cost money, I want you to start thinking realistically from the beginning. Sure, call me a dream crusher, but you know what stinks more than gefelte fish breath? Having to change your plans halfway through the engagement because you’ve discovered hidden wedding costs and, whoa, surprise!, you’re going to be able to retire at the fun-lovin’ young age of 87.

So here’s my advice to you: You have a budget, right? So stick to it. Price everything out perfectly and know what your wedding will end up costing.

Are you in the clear? Probably. But it’s easy to forget about some “hidden” wedding costs that we don’t exactly think about when we’re making lists and spreadsheets. Big bulk costs like florals or invitations are rather simple to figure, but you don’t want to miss out on counting more silent and un-fun fees so that you can cross every “i” and “t” in your wedding planning alphabet.

Sales Tax
The contract that you sign with each vendor will include their rate and this is probably the figure you’ll count in your planning budget. But make sure you also note the sales tax if it’s not obvious or on the contract. Some vendors will include the sales tax in their rate, but it can’t hurt to confirm so that you’re not surprised later on when the charge goes up (sometimes a few hundred?) in dollars. Also, some vendors may charge an extra percentage for credit card usage. If you’re sticking to a strict budget, you may want to find an alternative way to pay so you don’t have silly credit card fees in addition to your agreed upon rate.

Setup and Delivery Charges
Flowers, cake, chairs, and other wedding elements that might be mobile may also come with a setup or delivery charge. Renting furniture for a lounge area will look cool in your reception space, but unless you plan on hauling the pieces in your own Jetta and arranging them as you shvitz through your wedding dress, it’s a safe bet that you’ll want them delivered and set up. That’s great, but just know that you’re likely going to pay a fee for this service in addition to the rental cost. Make sure you find out what these types of fees are before you commit to the vendor. Also, know that same day tear down and pick up may be an additional charge as well. Knowing these kinds of details will help you calculate your cost and plan with your venue as well.

Overtime
Can’t stop dancing? No one’s leaving the floor to go home? The party’s in full force? Well, mazel tov on throwing a successful wedding reception, but prepare to pay extra for a celebration that goes past its curfew or contracted time. Bands, photographers, and vendors can charge you extra for continuing the party. Your photographer should check with you before leaving to make sure you’re happy and if you want them to stay for additional time. If you say yes, that’s totally okay, but just know that you’ll likely pay an extra hourly cost. Musicians typically function this way, too, and venues will also charge you to keep the lights on longer than you originally anticipated. These are reasonable charges since you’re paying your vendors an hourly rate and they are agreeing to stay past the contracted allotted time. You may have to make a game time decision, but if you’re having the time of your life, it’ll be worth the price!

Photography by Julie Mikos

Stamps
You’ve picked out invitations that complement your wedding’s style and fall within the price you want to pay for them. But how are they going to get to the guests’ mailboxes? Stamps! Guess what, stamps cost money! And, for a flimsy, square inch piece of sticky paper, they actually end up costing a lot more money than you’d probably like to spend. Also, you can’t forget to think about the stamps that go on the RSVP card. To top it all off, if your invitation suite is in an unusual size envelope or in a box, be prepared to pay even more in postage. When it’s time to send those babies off into the big, scary world, take them to the post office where they can be weighed and calculated so you know exactly how much dough you’ll be dishing out. Figure you’ll probably spend anywhere from $200 to $400 in stamps if you are having an average size wedding.

Gifts for Bridesmaids and Groomsmen
Don’t forget to show your gratitude for your wedding party with gifts that usually have some sentimental significance. Between buying a dress or renting a tux, chipping in for a bachelor or bachelorette party, contributing to the shower, and spending miscellaneous cash on accessories, flights, and hotels, the nicest thing you can do is give your inner circle a token of your love and appreciation. The cost tends to cha-ching up to about $50 to $75 per person, according to most brides and grooms, but of course you know best when it comes to these VIPs.

Tips
Some contracts may include gratuity and some may not. You may also be so blown away by a particular service that you feel the need to take out your wallet and add on digits to the final check you write. It’s not always necessary or contracted, but you may want to tip your photographer, videographer, hair stylist, make-up artist, wedding coordinator, transportation driver, bartenders, and servers.

Guests
Yes, you know that each guest costs a certain amount of money, but don’t forget that any little add-ons you make may also mean adding tables (which means adding centerpieces and linens) and chairs (which also means adding covers or rentals) and favors (which also means additional labels, ribbons, and wrapping) and escort cards (which also means more paper, labor, and ink). The list goes on. You get my drift. When you have your final guest list in order, stick to it and don’t start tweaking it because adding people actually multiplies your costs.

Photography by Kim Fox

Again, hearty congratulations to you on your engagement! Don’t let this post scare you away. There are lots of fun and helpful tips on The Wedding Yentas and whether you’re the bride, the mother, the friend, or, just admit it, a girl (or guy!) who just likes to look at pretty things, you’re at the right place. No sugar coating here. Just lots of wedding gossip. Or, ya know, yenta-ing!