Category Archives: Planning

Who Should Hold The Wedding Rings?

Posted on July 16, 2012 by Alison in From The Yentas, Inside Scoop, Planning

Sometimes it’s helpful to be a Facebook addict. A while back, a friend of mine, Lauren, who has been a contributor to Tales from the Veil, posted a status that said she was unsure who should hold the rings during the wedding. Good question! Got me thinking that this question is a common one (I remember asking it while planning my own wedding) and it would be helpful to address it here on The Wedding Yentas. So don’t put yourself through the ringer and stress about the official ring holders! Here’s some food for thought.


(Photo by Beth Kesier Photography)

Pockets. It’s all about pockets. You may have cute little ring bearers, but don’t kid yourself that some kid is going to take ownership of the actual (and, ahem, expensive) rings. So who’s another candidate for possessing the rings? Pick a groomsman; most likely one will have pockets. And hopefully at least one will not be too hungover from the rehearsal dinner the night before. So, pick a responsible groomsman with pockets!

Does this designated groomsman only hold the groom’s ring? Well, unless an equally-responsible bridesmaid also has pockets, both bride and groom rings should probably go to the groomsman. If you are keeping Jewish tradition and accepting a ring that’s not adorned and solid all the way around for the ceremony, don’t forget to give this ring to the Heroic Groomsman as well. Essentially, he’ll be carrying three rings! Yes, so make sure his pockets are deep. And responsible.

After you’ve exchanged your traditional rings, you may want to put on your non-traditional wedding band after the ceremony. That’s what I did and it worked like a charm. I couldn’t wait to skip away from the chuppah and finally wear the diamond band our best man had in his pocket. Like a moth to the flame went my ring to my finger. Ah yes, that’s it. Right there. Hits the spot.


(Photo by Luster Studios)

Once the pretty “every day ring” met its two new neighbors — the engagement ring and my finger — I removed the solid gold band that was used for symbolic purposes during the ceremony and gave it to the best man. So, make sure the groomsman you choose remains responsible (if just for a short while!) after the ceremony so that he can put the traditional ring somewhere safe that was agreed upon prior to the day’s hoopla. Once that open bar is ready for action, no groomsman — no matter how responsible! — can be trusted. So, the traditional ring needs to make it back to a secure home (bridal room, a purse under a chair, the wedding coordinator, etc.).

Bottomline: Just find someone you can count on, will be near the chuppah during the ceremony, and who has the ability to store and transport your bling. Groomsman or grandpa, it doesn’t really matter. Just make sure that in the midst of planning your centerpiece decor and must-have music playlist, you consider this easily-forgotten detail and put a plan in motion. Once you know how to handle the rings, you’re one step closer to ringing in your new, married life!

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Sponsored Post From The Expert: Jewish Wedding Ceremony Traditions and Explanations

Posted on July 5, 2012 by Alison in From the Expert, Jewish Traditions, Planning

Sometimes, we need a play-by-play reminder of what the Jewish wedding traditions and ceremony are all about. If you’re new to Jewish weddings or you need to brush up on the whole event since your the marriage booth at your summer camp’s carnival, this post, sponsored by World of Judaica, will be a total lifesaver! Keep this post bookmarked so you can refer to it as you plan your wedding. Remember, though, that it’s a traditional guide and you should check with your officiant about how your wedding ceremony will be personalized and tailored to you since every couple is different and every Rabbi or Cantor is different! Mazel tov from World of Judaica!

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It’s true that many traditions may vary between the Ashkenazi and Sephardic communities, but no matter the affiliation and heritage, the wedding day is supposed to be the happiest and holiest day in one’s life. This day is considered a personal Yom Kippur for the bride (Kallah) and groom (Chatan).

It is customary for the bride and groom not to see each other for one week before the wedding. This is called the Kabbalat Panim, and is intended to increase anticipation and excitement for the wedding. When the couple first sees each other on the wedding day, the groom will perform the Badeken, veiling of the bride. The groom lowers a veil over the bride’s face because the tradition of veiling goes back to biblical times when Rebecca covered her face before marrying Isaac. (Many Sephardic communities do not perform the Badeken.)

Before the couple heads to the Chuppah (wedding canopy) for the ceremony, they must first sign the Ketubah. The Ketubah, or marriage contract, outlines the groom’s responsibilities and obligations to his wife. The Ketubah must be signed by two witnesses and has the standing of a legally binding agreement. After the Ketubah is signed the wedding ceremony may commence. The ceremony takes place under the Chuppah, which is a symbol of the home that the new couple will build together, and is open on all sides just as Abraham and Sarah’s tent was open on all sides to always welcome guests with unconditional hospitality.

The best man is first to walk down the aisle standing to the left under the Chuppah, the groom is escorted by both his parents down the aisle before he takes his place to the left of the best man. Next comes the bridesmaids walking single file and take their place to the right of the Chuppah. The maid of honor walks down the aisle alone and takes her place on the right side of the Chuppah. The bride is escorted down the aisle by both parents before entering the Chuppah and joining her groom.

Like many Jewish ceremonies, the wedding ceremony begins with a cup of wine. The Rabbi says a blessing over the cup of wine and a second over the marriage. Both the bride and the groom drink from the cup. This portion of the ceremony is called the Kiddushin. During the ring ceremony the wedding ring is placed on the bride’s right index finger, which is the finger most visible to the witnesses. Jewish wedding rings must be made of solid uninterrupted gold, silver, or platinum with no precious stones or holes breaking the circle. The continuousness of the ring represents the hope for an everlasting marriage. After the exchanging of the rings, the Ketubah is read aloud. Once the groom has handed the Ketubah to his bride, they are officially husband and wife.

The second half of the ceremony continues with the Nissuin. A second cup of wine is filled and the Sheva B’rachot, seven blessings in honor of the wedding, are recited. At the conclusion of the ceremony the groom smashes a glass with his foot and the guests then shout “Mazel Tov!” — congratulations and good luck.

For more information on Jewish wedding traditions, other Jewish traditions and Judaica items visit World of Judaica and their Jewish Learning Center today.

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Happy Birthday, America & Happy Wedding Day To You!

Posted on July 4, 2012 by Alison in Featured, Planning

Today we’re celebrating America’s birthday, so we’ve prepared a July 4th themed wedding because you can never have enough USA love!

The United States has two beautiful oceans. From Atlantic to Pacific, J. Crew bridesmaid dresses look great on every bridesmaid! We love this getup thanks to the bow and the ocean blue hue!

Silk taffeta bow monde dress from J. Crew



This necklace screams chic Jewish bride-to-be and would be great for pre-wedding celebrating at a rehearsal dinner! Birds are the “it” icon in fashion right now, the flower adds hip femininity, and the colors pay homage to patriotic spirit!

Nautical Escape necklace from Etsy seller RachelleD



Celebrate America from head…

Vintage Inspired Rose Hairpins from Etsy seller LarqueByjason




to toe!

Image courtesy of Eleise Theuer Photography



Your first home together is your chuppah, so in honor of our country, you could create a floral decor that’s inspired by America’s colors. This chuppah created by Sprout Flowers incorporates red and purple florals along the frames. The rings of flowers not only look cool, but symbolize the continuing and never ending love of marriage. This is a great example of a modern and clean chuppah that also complements the overall style of the wedding.

Image courtesy of Sprout Flowers



Your table scape can be a breathtaking sea of red, white and blue that looks modern and elegant at the same time! Consider red flowers with blue and white accents. Go with powder or aqua blues to pair with the red. This table scape by Martha Stewart is really fresh and playful!

Red flowers in a white urn, with a lacy aqua and white mat. Add candles for extra sparkle!



For a little celebratory explosion, you can mark the start of your marriage by breaking blue and red glass under the chuppah! Save the glass from the pouch and put it inside a mezuzah or a frame. Many Judaica shops sell these commemorative items.

Breaking the glass image courtesy of Luster Studios.



Even the guys can enjoy the patriotic theme of your wedding day! Consider these super cool cufflinks for dads, groomsmen, and of course, the groom himself. Clockwise, the goods are: Patriotic Lego Tile from Etsy seller Cufflinks, Captain America Vintage Image Cuff Links from Etsy seller blinkphoto, Uncle Sam 4th of July from Etsy seller wmdean, and American Baseball Cufflinks from Etsy seller qacreate. We Want YOU to love these cufflinks!

Lego, Captain America, Uncle Sam, and leather baseball cufflinks all make great fits for the men of your wedding!



We can’t think of any other way that screams “Go America!” more than sparklers! Create a magical grand exit with sparklers provided for your guests! We love the go-to wedding sparklers company called, quite appropriately, Sparkle. They offer a variety of sparklers lengths and a thorough information guide with tips and facts about their products. We love that they showcase creative ideas for displaying sparklers; they really are the epitome of character and fun! On the most magical night of your life, you totally deserve to exit in a sparkly, big way!

Images courtesy of Sparkle

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From The Expert: The Celebrationista Guides The Bride on Wedding Shower Etiquette and Questions

Posted on June 28, 2012 by Alison in Bridal Showers, From the Expert, Inside Scoop, Planning

********** GIVEAWAY GOING ON NOW THROUGH JULY 2nd!!! ***********

Don’t forget your chance to enter to win! Clay Bouquet is giving away a $25 gift certificate to her store! Just check out Clay Bouquet‘s shop and report back by leaving a comment here and sharing what you would choose if you won the prize!

Entries will be accepted through Monday, July 2nd at 11:59 p.m. PST. Winner is selected at random and announced on Facebook on July 3rd. Good luck!

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Roni Borenstein of Celebrationista Events is a professional bridal shower and bachelorette party coordinator and your expert source for all pre-wedding planning! Roni is originally from Long Island, NY and now lives in Manhattan. While earning her Masters in Social Work from Columbia University, she began planning bridal showers and bachelorette parties for close friends who were getting married. After realizing her passion for event planning and a knack for putting together flawless celebrations, she began to transition from the field of social work into party planning. Her extensive experience includes planning bachelorette parties all over the country, birthday soirees for clients of every age from 25 to 90, baby showers, and bridal showers. She is a pre-wedding party guru whose creativity and skills ensure that each affair reflects the bride being honored. Combining budget-friendly event design with DIY extras, she can create a memorable shindig from start to finish. Roni prides herself in great attention to detail and up-to-date industry expertise. For more tips, photos, inspiration, and planning updates follow/contact her on Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter, and her blog!

Today, I’m here to help the bride who may have some bridal shower anxiety. Some brides feel super comfortable in the spotlight or don’t even think twice about the plans surrounding their other big day (the BIG big day is, of course, the wedding day). But when it comes to etiquette questions or causes for concern, hopefully this little guide helps you feel more at ease as you are showered with love!

Q: Should I put my registry information on the invitations?
A: Some brides do and some don’t. If there are a bunch of items still left on your registry that you want, then it’s the perfect opportunity. On the other hand many brides prefer to receive items like lingerie, jewelry, and other keepsakes that wouldn’t be on the wedding registry. Some guests usually like to get something that will surprise the bride rather than a kitchen item off the registry. Others like to know that they are satisfying the dream list that the couple has put together. If people want to order off the registry and they lose the invitation, they should easily be able to find your registry online. On weddingchannel.com you can merge all your registries and make them searchable so guests can access everything you register for. Since registry information should never be on the actual formal wedding invitation, the shower invitation or the wedding web site are two places that guests can learn about your selected stores.

Q: Is it okay to have two showers?
A: Many people do. If you have a lot of guests in NYC but you’re from Chicago, you may choose to do one in each city so all your close friends and family can come without having to travel twice (for the shower and the wedding). It’s not unheard of for coworkers to throw a separate office shower for the bride, but keep in mind that everyone in your office probably won’t be getting an invite to the wedding. If they still insist on throwing you one, just be clear that there are no expectations for the nuptials. Other factors like having divorced parents might force you to have two showers in order to satisfy two separate families. Really, there’s no rule against having more than one shower. If your bridesmaids are involved with more than one shower, just keep in mind how much you’re asking your bridesmaids to spend and do. Make one event more of a casual get-together or Jack and Jill shower. If you’re at the other extreme and really hate the limelight you may want to combine the shower and bachelorette party. Only if you’re positive you won’t regret skipping the traditional shower, combining the two is a great alternative. Spend the day with just close friends or bridesmaids by going to a spa or taking a cooking class after a small brunch or before dinner. You can still incorporate favors and mementos for whoever comes, and receive thoughtful gifts from the girls without everyone watching!

Q: Do I have to have assigned seating?
A: Yes. Think about it: your guest list includes relatives from both sides, college friends, coworkers, family friends and your oldest pals. Without a seating plan, you risk having your sorority sisters and the groom’s great-aunt Ruth sitting next to each other. No matter how small or casual your shower is, it’s still necessary to ensure your guests aren’t uncomfortable. Luckily there are so many options and whether you use escort cards or place cards, they can double up as favors.

Q: Do I have to open my gifts at the shower?
A: To open or not to open? That is the question. Many brides don’t feel comfortable being in the spotlight. While some guests look forward to seeing the bride’s face when she opens their present, a disorganized gift opening can be long, boring, and dreadful. The bridesmaids are crucial here. If you are shy and can’t stand the idea of so much pressure, have the guests keep busy by intertwining an activity during this time. You can even request that guests wrap gifts in clear cellophane so all you have to do is acknowledge each one with a big smile. Of course, some brides decide to skip the gift opening all together and show their appreciation with a personal thank you card to everyone (which you will do either way). It depends on your personal preference and no rule is set in stone.

Q: How involved should I be in planning the shower?
A: Take it easy. You will want to make the guest list and ensure no one is left out, but other than that you’re off the hook for this one. If you believe your bridesmaids or family members are not up for the task of planning your dream shower, you can get involved in some of the details. It’s different for every situation, but always make sure to thank your mom (or other hostesses) and bridesmaids at the shower. Stand up and make a toast thanking everyone for coming and let them know you appreciate their hard work.

Q: How do I deal with my fiancé’s mom who wants to invite all of her friends but isn’t chipping in?
A: This is a tough one, especially because it’s a shame for the families to have bad blood over the shower right before the big day approaches. The answer depends on how big your shower is and how many people the venue can fit. If your mom isn’t inviting many of her friends, simply say that the shower is just for family and your friends. You should always invite the groom’s family even if you’ve never met them. You don’t want to be outnumbered by women you don’t even know, but it could be good practice for your wedding day. On the other hand, if it’s a big party and she wants her closest friends there, try to have the mothers come to a compromise. If you are having a rehearsal dinner hosted by his side, are you allowed to invite all your guests? Is it possible to have a separate shower for only his side thrown by his side? These are some individual considerations you must make depending on your situation. These kinds of politics can be tricky, but honest and clear conversations can help define who should be invited to these important events like showers.

Bottom Line: Bridal shower “rules” and expectations are out there for brides to use as guidelines for planning but needn’t be followed strictly. The whole point is to shower you with love, good wishes, gifts, and advice, not to make you uncomfortable. It’s truly all about you! If you find yourself in a dilemma there are always alternatives to tweak your shower to fit your life and personality.

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From The Expert: The Celebrationista Proposes Shower Ideas for Bridesmaids

Posted on June 27, 2012 by Alison in From the Expert, Inside Scoop, Planning

********** GIVEAWAY GOING ON NOW THROUGH JULY 2nd!!! ***********

Don’t forget your chance to enter to win! Clay Bouquet is giving away a $25 gift certificate to her store! Just check out Clay Bouquet‘s shop and report back by leaving a comment here and sharing what you would choose if you won the prize!

Entries will be accepted through Monday, July 2nd at 11:59 p.m. PST. Winner is selected at random and announced on Facebook on July 3rd. Good luck!

******************************************

Roni Borenstein of Celebrationista Events is a professional bridal shower and bachelorette party coordinator and your expert source for all pre-wedding planning! Roni is originally from Long Island, NY and now lives in Manhattan. While earning her Masters in Social Work from Columbia University, she began planning bridal showers and bachelorette parties for close friends who were getting married. After realizing her passion for event planning and a knack for putting together flawless celebrations, she began to transition from the field of social work into party planning. Her extensive experience includes planning bachelorette parties all over the country, birthday soirees for clients of every age from 25 to 90, baby showers, and bridal showers. She is a pre-wedding party guru whose creativity and skills ensure that each affair reflects the bride being honored. Combining budget-friendly event design with DIY extras, she can create a memorable shindig from start to finish. Roni prides herself in great attention to detail and up-to-date industry expertise. For more tips, photos, inspiration, and planning updates follow/contact her on Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter, and her blog!

Bridesmaids Get Busy
Bridal showers came about many moons ago as a way for the betrothed to receive all necessary items for the newlywed home to provide for her husband. The bride-to-be was showered with household items that could prepare her for her new role as a wife. Although we still give kitchen items and registry gifts to the bride at her shower, modern-day brides are often a little older and living away from home before they’re engaged. Also, the “wife” role has changed from the time bridal showers began, and so have the traditions.

Bridesmaids: depending on the situation you may or may not be responsible for hosting or paying for the shower, but structuring the event is in your hands. The activities and presentations you organize at the shower are what really make it exceptional. Delegating and Do-It-Yourself are the two D’s to live by here.

You won’t be able to throw things together at the last minute so get the conversation going early and listen to everyone’s ideas. Before the invitations go out you should set up a maids meeting for the girls who are close and able to attend because no matter how busy everyone is, you need to be on the same page. Expect to have email chains that seem endless when trying to plan each detail, and if the maid of honor is a little sister who has never been to a shower, it’s okay for another girl to help her out and take charge; someone has to.

Picking two or three activities should be enough. No matter what, make sure to keep the bride in mind. For example, if she hates pictures of herself don’t do a video montage and if she gets embarrassed easily don’t do a lingerie line.

Some ideas I love that have proven successful:

  • The Scrapbook (my personal favorite) — Get the guest list in advance and mail out blank scrapbook page refills like these from a craft store to all the bride’s friends. Ask people to make a collage of pictures, stickers, poems, inside jokes, or other memories and bring it to the shower. Anyone who can’t attend can still mail it back and participate. Assemble the scrapbook there and present it to her and pass it around.
  • Notes of Advice — Have “notes of advice” and some pens at each table and then put them all in a personalized box. If you think the advice cards are too played out, ask guests to write where they think the couple will be in 10 years from now. After you collect them have her read some out loud.
  • Recipes/Baking Basket — Send out blank recipe cards with the invitations and collect them at the shower. Put them in a personalized recipe box and throw in other kitchen supplies like an apron, personalized spatulas, cookie cutters, measuring spoons, and a wedding cupcake kit. If you want a book instead of cards, tastebook.com is a really cool way to collect recipes from everyone and have them professionally printed before the shower. Anyone can do it online and add pictures and a note to the bride, plus the bride has the option of adding to the book later on by ordering recipes or printing her own from the website. If you want to DIY and cut costs, collect recipes and some pictures from just the bridesmaids and have one girl put the book together.
  • Wine for Each Milestone — Have each bridesmaid decorate a bottle of wine, Champagne, or other liquor for future milestones in the couple’s married life.

If the bridesmaids want to present the bride with their own gift that’s thoughtful and entertaining, consider this:

  • Honeymoon Kit — Give her “just married” flip flops, monogrammed travel cosmetic bags, passport covers, and luggage tags for the honeymoon. If you know where she’s going get some travel books for the location and put it all in a monogrammed beach tote with cute travel toiletries and snacks for the plane. For a friend who was going to Hawaii, we all wore leis when she opened it at the shower.
  • Lingerie Line — Have each bridesmaid buy a negligee or lacy thongs for future occasions and then to end on a fantastic laugh, the final presentation should be giant granny panties! Great for a bride and guests who have a sharp sense of humor!

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