Category Archives: Planning

So You Think You Can First Dance

Posted on April 12, 2012 by Alison in Inside Scoop, Planning

The order of the big day usually goes a little something like this:

Get dolled up.
Sign that ketubah and make it Jewishly official.
Say “I do” under the chuppah.
Squeal with delight that you’re married — eeeeeek!
Take lots of photos so your cheeks hurt while guests make friends at and with the bar.
Assemble with the (intoxicated) bridal party and family for a grand entrance into the reception.
Hustle like you’re on “The Price is Right” down to the dance floor.
Receive your introduction as the new Mr. and Mrs. {insert your name here}.
Freeze like a deer in the headlights when you hold on to each other awkwardly like 7th graders at the Spring Fling as you wish away the next 3.5 minutes of the slowest song you should have never picked for your first dance.

Slow song, fast song, whatever — most couples are deathly afraid of performing that much-anticipated first dance for all of their family and friends to witness. The idea of improvising steps while having all eyes on you can be intimidating, but the first dance doesn’t have to be a stressful moment.

One of the tips I always pass along to brides and grooms is to take dance lessons and even take it up a notch: choreograph the first dance so you don’t have to worry about looking awkward during the song. You don’t have to work as hard or perform in a sparkly little number like the “Dancing with the Stars” cast (although, there is the perk of taking dance lessons and shedding some extra baggage a la Kirstie Alley…). Your guests definitely don’t expect a dance recital from you, but you might feel better knowing the dance is planned in advance. After all, you’ve already done so much planning and all that thought went into your perfect color scheme, the cake flavors, and the signature drink, so what’s another thing to plan?

Choreographing your first dance is also a great time to bond with your groom and get him involved in the wedding planning process. Having an excuse for a date night and shaking your groove-thing (or is it thang?) together really brings you closer and gets you both pumped for the wedding.

You can find dance lessons at a studio or hire a private choreographer. Give the teacher an idea of what you’re looking for. It helps to have the song in mind as well. Don’t worry about the steps being too hard; your choreographer will design a dance for you that fits your skill set. Even if it’s just a combination of a few sways and rock steps, you’ll feel good knowing that you don’t have to come up with the steps and their order on the spot.

Start the first dance choreography about a month or two before the wedding. This gives you time to learn the steps and then practice them at home in the weeks leading up to the big day. Bryan and I would clear out the coffee table in our living room and drill the steps until we could remember the order. We actually had a lot of fun and neither of us are exactly Fred and Ginger.

I’ve seen couples get fancy-shmancy with their dancey and do a full-on performance with “costumes” and everything. That is totally one way to do it! Go big or go home, right? But you can also keep it simple and be adored by your guests just the same. My one super-big, hard-core, must-know advice: Make sure someone who knows how to bustle your dress is nearby just before entering the dance floor for your song. My bustle came undone immediately because it wasn’t fastened all the way, and I ended up dancing like I was on a Slip and Slide and all I could think about was, “Left together, right together, oh crap, don’t snag the lace and crush the beads, rock step.” Hey, you live and learn.

Just remember: nobody puts Bride-y in the corner. Start dancing. You’ll have the time of your life.

*All photos by eight20 photography and video by Moonlight Video.

From The Expert: Catering Manager vs. Wedding Planner

Posted on April 9, 2012 by Alison in Featured, From the Expert, Inside Scoop, Planning

Today, a real wedding expert is here to explain the difference between a Catering Manager at your venue and a Wedding Planner that you hire separately. So often, their jobs and duties get mixed up, but the owner of By Kerri Hatter has the scoop to make it easy to understand. Take it away, Kerri!

So often, we are told by brides that they don’t think they need our services because their
venue provides a coordinator. While that is true (the venue does provide a coordinator), the
responsibilities of a venue or catering manager are very different from a professional Wedding
Planner. Below are things you can expect from each one:

Catering Manager
The Catering Manager is your main contact, and usually your first through a tour, at the venue.
They are responsible for the sales of events. Once you have decided on their venue, they
produce your contract involving all the terms and financial commitments to the resort as well as
balancing out your final bill following your special day.

Your Catering Manager will host a menu tasting, assist you with food and beverage selections,
and educate you on how to reach the minimums required per your contract. They develop your
BEO (Banquet Event Order), which outlines your menu, rentals and anything else the venue
will be providing. They are also responsible for making sure that the Banquet Manager, who
manages all of the food & beverage and staff at the reception, is aware of all of your requests
regarding any venue service.

Catering Managers are responsible for the set up of all hotel related items on the day of the
event. Then they will oversee the ceremony and reception set ups to make sure all venue
contracted items are being delivered as promised.

At hotels, your Catering Manager introduces you to the reservations manager if you need
to book room blocks and oversees the details of the bride and grooms suite the night of the
wedding.

Finally, as the Catering Manager is in charge of the responsibilities solely related to the venue,
they can work closely with a professional Wedding Planner to ensure a successful event.

Wedding Planner
The Wedding Planner is responsible for coordinating and executing all of the wedding elements
not involving the venue and serves as an advisor/educator and mediator throughout the
planning. As an expert in the wedding industry, the Planner helps with etiquette specifically
related to weddings. He or she handles all of the time-consuming details and communication
involved with planning the wedding. The Wedding Planner is also the biggest resource because
they have many contacts in the industry and will be able to match each client with the right
professionals. Some services provided by Wedding Planners are:

Acts as a liaison between family, bridal party, the vendors, and the venue staff leading up
to and on the day of the wedding
Attends the final meeting with the Catering Manager at the venue
Coordinates with the Catering Manager on the BEOs
Develops a timeline for the entire wedding day
Confirms all vendors and coordinates timelines and details with them to ensure all
parties know what to expect on the wedding day
Conducts the rehearsal and reviews the itinerary with all family and bridal party
Sets up all wedding elements – guest books, place cards, favors, programs, table
numbers, and any other items the bride and groom want displayed
Double checks all venue set ups to make sure they coordinate with the BEOs (seating
charts, napkin folds, ceremony set up, linen colors, etc.)
Coordinates timing of ceremony and reception including grand entrances, first dances,
speeches, and cake cutting
Collects all gifts and décor, and delivers to the appropriate location at the end of the
night

Kerri advises a bride and groom about the cake cutting.

Kerri gives a push down the aisle to a young member of the wedding party.

Here is a great real situation from a recent wedding differentiating the two roles:
About 2 hours before the ceremony, I received a frantic call that the groom’s dad did not have
his tie for the wedding. He thought the hotel maids might have cleaned up the room and
thrown it away by accident! The Catering Manager has to stay on property at all times, so I sent
one of my assistants to the closest tie shop to buy a tie as close to the color of the rest of the
groomsmen. Crisis averted!

**************

Kerri started her career in event planning over 20 years ago, but found her true passion for planning when she got married in 2004. Having been a bride herself, she understands everything the bride and groom are feeling and knows how difficult it can be to handle all the details and keep everyone happy at the same time! Kerri’s easy going personality immediately puts her clients at east and her almost obsession with organization keeps them on track. Her innovative thinking and passion to help everyone she meets prompted Kerri to create The Wedding Workshop.

Must Have Wedding Photos

Posted on April 5, 2012 by Alison in From The Yentas, Planning

No doubt, you’re so excited for your wedding day and since you’re obviously reading wedding blogs like this one, you’re also organized and prepared for the big day.

Here’s another list to add to your collection: the must-have wedding photos list. The day rushes by so fast, it’s easy to forget about key images that you’ve likely dreamt up in your head during your planning process. Trust yourself that you’ve hired a fabulous photographer, but also know that your photographer has a routine set of images that he or she usually captures and it’s possible that the ones you’re thinking aren’t in his or her usual repertoire, especially if they’re uniquely specific.

Just be proactive and confirm with your photographer that you’d like to make sure you must-have photo list is in line with theirs.

Here are some snapshots you will enjoy:

Pre Ceremony

A shot of the rings! Get that bling on camera before they lose their shine!
Pour that champagne! Getting ready with the bridesmaids.
The groom getting ready with his guys. Here’s our chance to be jealous that it takes 32 seconds for men to get fancy.
A still of the wedding dress and shoes — together and separately! Because they’re both fabulous!
The groom waiting… and waiting… and waiting… to see his bride! If you’re doing a first look, photos of the groom waiting are so cute.
Girl time with the bridesmaids for formal shots.
Bride with all the guys for some groomsmen bonding.
The ceremony scene like the chuppah, guestbooks, seating arrangements, and other details.

During The Ceremony

Both the bride’s and groom’s entrances as they walk down the aisle
The guests’ reaction to seeing the beautiful bride appearing.
The rings being placed on the fingers.
Jewish traditions like the presentation of the ketubah, drinking wine from the kiddush cup, the rabbi wrapping the bride and groom a tallit, and of course, the groom stepping on the glass.
The bride and groom leaving the chuppah — such a joyous moment!

At The Reception

The whole room with set tables and different angles of centerpieces. These types of photos will help future planning brides.
The grand entrance! It’s fun to see the newlyweds enter their party!
The horah! You can almost HEAR the joy in the photos when a photographer captures a group spiraling around the bride and groom.
What’s a horah photo without the chair lifts? From all angles, you should be able to see the bride and groom up in chairs. Photographers might stand on a chair to get directly in line with their faces.
Cake cutting and any shenanigans that happen there! To smash or not to smash?

Obviously, you may have additional photos in mind that you must include, so be your own advocate and make sure you write them down. Again, most likely, your photographer already knows and has this list on the agenda as well, but it can’t hurt to check.

Don’t forget: Smile! And enjoy!! Photos of a happy couple should be your number one priority and that, my friends, is totally in your control!

Getting Through the Post Wedding Blues

Posted on April 4, 2012 by Alison in From The Yentas, Planning, Tales from the Veil

After I got married, I got sad.

The wedding was over and while I was glowing from becoming a wife to someone who I thought — and still think! — is pretty wonderful, the let down of the end to a great adventure was hovering over me. My wedding planning experience was pretty easy and really fun. All the events, the shopping, the pampering — what girly girl could complain? And the wedding itself was the best day of my life — from start to finish, it went off without a hitch (well, WE got hitched) and it remains the topic of nostalgic conversation among family and friends today.

Eight hours after our wedding, we left for Kauai and Maui for our honeymoon. You know what? Hawaii doesn’t suck. We had an amazing ten days in paradise and came home to a pile of presents to open. That wasn’t too shabby either.

But then, that last present was unwrapped. We noted the gift and the gift giver, threw away the paper, and then… well, then what? Our wedding was really, seriously, totally, officially over. No more fiance. No more bride and groom. Our vendors had already forgotten about us and had worked other weddings and were onto planning the next ones. We were history. Friedmans, who?

Some of you may suffer from the Post Wedding Blues, but I’m living proof today that you get over it. Here are some ideas for helping you reenter society as a married woman and recover from your amazing day and subsequent blues:

Do something drastic to your hair. No really, it sounds so rebellious and living-on-the-edge (HARDCORE, MAN!), but most likely, you’ve been growing out your hair or maintaining its color specifically for the wedding. Here’s your chance to redefine yourself, physically speaking. Go a darker shade or cut it short. Get bangs. Treat yourself to weekly blowouts. Whatever you decide, know that it’s okay to start over with your best hair forward.
Join a temple. Not only will it make your bubbie plotz, but you’ll likely meet other young married or almost-married couples who are looking to continue their journey that started under the chuppah together. Most congregations have havurah matchmaking where you can link up with others with similar ages and interests. It could also be a way to shop for married friends. Don’t lie. You know you’ve “joked” about that before.
Date night, date night, date night. Can’t express how important this is! Okay, so remember how much you planned and looked forward to your wedding? You should enjoy the same anticipation with your new [girl squeal!] husband for a date night! It doesn’t always have to be elaborate. You can have pizza-and-PJs date night, but as long as it’s special time together that’s all about you, that’s all that matters. No distractions. Just you two.
Enjoy girl time! Go out with your girlfriends and this time, it won’t be about you. Or your bridal shower. Or your cranky Aunt Roz who insists on bringing her new date du jour from Boca to your wedding. The conversation is not wedding-related, but devoted to you and your girlfriends. Newsflash: it’s more than likely that the past year of your wedding planning was also the topic of conversation with your girlfriends. Not that it’s a bad thing, but now it’s time to give up the throne and not make it all about you and regroup your friendship to its core.
Be a cheerleader! It’s an easy bet that you probably have other friends who are also planning their weddings. Offer advice. Be an open ear. Help them out. Here’s your chance to share your expertise and pass the torch to the next bride in line.
Travel and make new memories. Plan trips with your loved ones and experience all new adventures that aren’t about weddings! You can plan to climb Machu Picchu or enjoy a day up in wine country. There’s no amount of travel that validates the trip. But a day or two or more away will give you something new and exciting to plan.
Blog it. It’s free. It’s easy. It’s therapeutic. Start a blog about your wedding planning adventure and discuss your new life as a wife. Not only will it help you find an outlet for your blues, but blogging will also help keep your family and friends in touch with your household. Blog about vacations, new restaurants, home improvements, and, ya know, when the time comes, that double line on your pregnancy test.

Printed Bridesmaids’ Dresses For The Win

Posted on April 2, 2012 by Alison in Planning

Quick, close your eyes.

Picture a bridesmaid dress.

Is it blue?
Black?
Pink?
Wine?

I don’t know, I’m no mind reader, so I have no idea what color you picked in your head, but I will bet dollars to donuts (mmmm donuts) that you pictured a solid colored bridesmaid dress.

Am I right?

When people think about bridesmaids’ dresses, they think about a dress that’s dyed one single shade. Maybe they imagine the dress to be chiffon or silk or a cotton sateen. Maybe the dress has straps, a bare shoulder, or a bow. Maybe the dress is long, short, or tea length. The styles may vary and the colors may definitely vary, but the one dress is probably shown in the mind’s eye in one color.

It doesn’t have to be that way. Bridesmaids’ dresses can come in many different patterns and prints, and choosing these dresses for your maids is a way to be unique or express your own personal style or style of your wedding day.

It can be easier (and sometimes even cheaper) to find these dresses off the rack and ready to wear because they may not be “bridesmaid” dresses at all. They can be good ol’ regular dresses found in your favorite everyday shopping mall store.

Many bridesmaid dress designers also carry ensembles with prints, but they’re not as common. You’ll just have to ask your boutique or check designers’ web sites.

Let’s enjoy an online fashion show of both ready-to-wear printed dresses and made-to-order printed dresses — all dedicated to bridesmaids!