Category Archives: Planning

You’re Invited…:A Step-By-Step Guide To Ordering Your Wedding Invitations

Posted on June 3, 2013 by Alison in From The Yentas, Planning

Out of all your wedding tasks you have to accomplish, ordering and organizing wedding invitations may seem like the biggest headache. It may not be the most glamorous task (oo la la, dress shopping!) or the yummiest (cake tasting for the win!), but it’s a really important one. After all, how else are your guests going to know when and where to show up on your big day? It’s the foundation of your wedding day and can even set the tone for what guests can expect.

Want the scoop on the process? Here’s a breakdown before you have a breakdown.

Get Organized:
Before you even have to pick out your invitations, you have to pick out the people you want to receive them. Start early and start collecting addresses once you’ve finalized your guest list. Keep an organized spreadsheet and have it handy because once you receive your ready invitations, you’ll need to mail them out and the last thing you want to do is catalog addresses because it’ll slow your process down.

Plan Out:
If your wedding is Winter of 2013, you might think you have tons of time. It’s only June! What’s the rush? The wedding is the end of December! You have six-ish months! Right? WRONG! Work backwards. You need to mail out the invitations six to eight weeks before your wedding date. (late September/early October). Prior to that, you’ll need to assemble the invitations (may take a week). Before that, you’ll have order the invitations and they will take some time come in (sometimes four to six weeks depending on the vendor or manufacturer). That brings you to ordering in early August. Searching for the perfect invitation won’t be an instant task, either. You’ll look at many samples or visit many boutiques or designers. Take your time to shop. Give yourself at least a month. So now you’re looking at starting in July. It’s June now. Need I say more?

Play it extra safe and assume something will go wrong. I know, what happened to the optimistic Yenta? You never know! The manufacturer could go under (yay economy!) or there could be a typo on your response card. You never know. Don’t wait until the last minute to place your oder in case you have to make a quick reorder.

Search According To Your Budget:
Invitations work the same way as shopping for your dress: don’t fall in love with something out of your budget. If you can’t put down the cash for the Monique, by all means, don’t try on the Monique (I know, it’s so hard, but this is for your sanity). It’s no different with your invitations. If you know you can’t have letterpress printing in your budget, don’t even look at samples with such deliciously beautiful and drool-worthy fine details. You don’t want to have to overspend on invitations and you definitely don’t want to have to go take away from another area of your budget in order to have the suite you — oops! — fell in love with. Be up front with your invitation consultant about your budget and be sure to stick to it. If the consultant or designer tries to upsell you, it’s disrespectful and you should not continue with their services.

If you have no budget to speak of and money is of no object, well, by all means, why are we not friends? I like Marc Jacobs and I wear a size 8 shoe.

Shop By Feature:
Ask yourself: what’s the one element your invitation absolutely must have? A specific color? A design? A paper size or shape? Pick that one element and shop by that one element. In a perfect world, that one element complements your overall wedding style. Let’s face it, there are lots of pretty invitations to choose from, but if you select all the ones you like, you’ll never pick THE one. If it’s a turquoise and white color them you’re going for, that means you will shop invitations with only that theme. If you’re working with a designer who’s making a custom suite for you, feel free to bring pictures with you to share the features you like. Many wedding invitation websites allow you to search by feature as well, so utilize that convenience. A personal favorite is Wedding Paper Divas. Don’t get sidetracked and distracted by other — oooo!! Shiny invitations with rhinestones!!! You’ll be married before your invitations even go out. Get it?

Invest In Samples:
Once you’ve narrowed down your top picks, and I mean, tip top tippy-top picks (top three?), order samples. This way, you can touch your paper, feel the print, smell that fresh new paper smell — mmmmmmm. This is your invitation test drive. Get to know and love it because once it’s out of your hands, it’s hanging on someone’s fridge.

Overall, you’ll just feel better about your order because you courted before your committed. Hopefully you did the same thing with the fiance, yes?

Decisions Beyond Invitations:
Remember, you’re not just mailing an invitation. You’re mailing an envelope, a response card, maybe a directions insert, and so on. Oh yes, and are you choosing to line your envelopes? What about an outer fancy shmancy envelope? These are the big decisions, people! Don’t forget to weigh your priorities. That outer envelope with the guests’ name and address contains another big envelope which has the real good inside that one. Do you really need the outer envelope? It’s formal and it looks cool and who doesn’t like opening multiple envelopes from one mailing? But, not only does it give you more glue to lick, but it also will cost you an additional amount. The add-ons and extra components require you to do a little more research, so just when you think you’ve selected the invitation itself, you still have to settle on a couple more choices.

But wait! There’s more! Many designers also happen to have paper for other uses in each invitation line. Everything from table numbers to escort cards to thank you notes. Do you want to tie in your entire suite with what your guests see at the wedding? Some may say, “Oh, who’s going to remember the invitation once they’re at the wedding anyway?” I can’t answer that question for you, but you can at least weigh in and make that decision. This can be seen as a convenience or as an added expense. Up to you.

Decide On The Amount:
Here’s where you do some math. Remember your guest list that you compiled at the beginning of this exercise? Count up your guest list by household. Not people, but each address. Aunt Ruthie and Uncle Murray count as two people for your caterer, yes, but they are really only one combined person — or household — for your invitation order. Don’t assume the guest list equals the amount of invitations you should order. You’ll end up ordering about double of what you actually need!

Then, you’ll actually order about 15% more than the actual amount of households that will receive invitations. You may have last minute additions to who you want to invite or you might want to activate the [gulp] B List for those who can’t make it from the A List. Hey, it happens. The good ol’ trusty USPS may lose some in the mail or your friend moved and didn’t bother to tell you her new address, so you’ll have to resend some. Also, you or your parents may want to keep some invitations for scrap books or photo albums, so you’ll need some extras.

Proof ‘Em:
There is absolutely nothing more atrocious than placing your order, receiving your oder a month later, and finding that you are apparently marrying Wilma instead of William. Oy vey. Proof the invitations before you send the OK to print. Proofreading does not mean reading them over and giving a nod of approval. Proofreading is executing the following tasks:

Read it to yourself.
Read it out loud.
Take a sheet of notebook paper with holes and slide the hole over the line of print so as to isolate every. individual. word. on. the. invitation. Any mistake that’s there will stand out at you!
Give it to your mom to read. And your fiance. And your MOH. And your friend. And your podiatrist. Everyone in your inner circle must read it to themselves. And everyone in your inner circle must read it out loud.
Double check that the names and places are spelled correctly, addresses are listed correctly, numbers are ordered correctly, and basic English mechanics like commas and apostrophes are inserted correctly. It’s also a good idea to quadruple check that the wedding date and time are correct as well. You know, only a little important.

Celebrate:
You have placed your invitation order! Make another check on your list and breathe because this one was a doozy.

And then it’s time to move on to the next item.

Top 10 Tips Every Bride and Groom Should Know

Posted on May 30, 2013 by Alison in Featured, From the Expert, Inside Scoop, Planning

Randy Lehrman is the owner of Real Genius Entertainment, a special events company that specializes in Jewish life cycle events, making every event unique and different while paying close attention to detail and a high level of personal service. With 20 years of experience, Randy uses his personality to drive the party. He also will help you with lighting design, music selections, room layout, and making your wedding exactly how you want it. Real Genius Entertainment is located in West Hills, California and is available for all your party needs!

In this crazy world of wedding event planning, I tell people all the time that these things have become mini-productions. I envision future weddings to be produced like the Oscars or Grammys with staff using walkie talkies and guests giving red carpet interviews. Okay, so I’m kidding, but only a little. The truth is, so many experts go into helping you achieve your dreams of your wedding day and everyone gets to be star of the day at some point. You’ve trusted some of the best pros in the biz to join you on your wedding day –DJs, entertainers, videographer, photographer, florists, caterers — but, there are two more people that are the true celebrities of your special day: You!

For the most part, as an entertainer, I drive a party to its success with the bride and groom as part of my team to deliver the most amazing event it can be. So believe it or not, there are actually many things you can do to make your own wedding even better. It’s really the difference between good and optimal. Follow this Top 10 List and you might float to your honeymoon on Cloud 9!

#1. Dance! That’s right. Even if you and your spouse are as stiff as boards you need to dance and participate on the dance floor. Why did you hire an awesome DJ for your event? To get people dancing all night! But, if you and your new partner are at the bar all night or yapping outside, how do you expect everyone else to get out there? Lead by example. You are the hosts. Monkey see, monkey do. And you guys are the two best dressed monkeys there!

#2. Know when to schmooze! With only a certain amount of time to visit and thank all of your guests, you usually rush around like little bees to thank them, which is very kind of you. But doing it at the right time can be a scheduling nightmare in itself. So my advice to you is to make sure you eat first (you get fed first anyways) and then there is time go chat and thank. You might also have schmooze opportunities at cocktail hour, salad, dinner, and cake cutting to say thanks! And remember, some of your best conversations might be on the dance floor!

#3. Work with your DJ! Don’t be your own! Of course you want your favorite music at your party. Many brides and grooms are focused on their taste in music instead of thinking of dance music. Use the expertise of your DJ to pick music for dancing. If something you like doesn’t work for the dance floor, it shouldn’t be a problem. Utilize it instead as background music during the meal, or as people enter the party. Green Day isn’t going to fill a floor no matter how much you like it.

#4. Don’t play your montage during dinner. Ninety-nine percent of all weddings are four to five hours long. If you are showcasing pictures of the two of you, the worst thing you can do is play it while your 200 guests are cutting chicken. Allow dinner time to be a time to relax and socialize. Set up the slideshow during dinner and after all the plates have been cleared, voila! It’s showtime! It will ensure you have all of your guests’ attention on something that is very special to you.

#5. More sugar! Have a secondary dessert if you can. The longest lull in the party is when the caterer is slicing cake for each and every one of your guests. I suggest having a candy or extra dessert table. That way after you’ve cut the cake, you can send your guests to that goodie table to nosh, and by the time they get back to their table there’s cake there, too!

#6. Bring money! Even if you leave cash or a check with your coordinator, you never want to run out of green. Many DJs require overtime payment on the spot so if you want to keep dancing the night away, have your coordinator take care of that for you. There is literally one instance at every party where you will need some kind of money for someone, whether it’s a tip or overtime. Count on not needing to pay up, but be prepared just in case, and make it easy on yourself.

#7. Beware of offsite photos. Out of the 20+ years of weddings I have worked, one thing has remained constant: when a photographer requests to take the bride and groom off-site for photos, the couple never returns on time. Try to avoid doing this at all costs because guests have already been there a long time and when your doors open they expect to see you introduced within fifteen minutes. If you aren’t at the beginning of your own party it will be uncomfortable for everyone there. We cant start without you, right? You can also schedule a photo shoot with your photographer where you get all dolled up again and take photos at a cool location or favorite spot. Bottomline, take as many photos as you can before the ceremony or the reception. You will be glad you aren’t late to your own party!

#8. Eat! You should get your plates before other guests, so take advantage of this and eat. This is a long and special weekend. You need lots of energy while dancing, chatting, and just meeting new family. Eat and drink water to keep yourself going. The number of times I’ve seen a bride or groom not eat before or during an event? Six. The number of times one of those people has fainted or thrown up? Six. Do the math.

#9. Inform your special VIP guests. All too often there is a mother-son dance where mom is floating at the bar, or there’s the emotional cousin who has just been asked to — surprise! — give a toast and had no idea. Tell your toasters, tell your dance partners, tell the people who are doing the motzi over the challah. Tell all your VIPs that you are honoring them with a special duty and then they’ll be prepared and excited about what they are doing.

#10. Have fun! If you have fun at your own party everyone else will, too! Don’t sweat the small stuff at your wedding reception. All too often, brides become upset over just one song they might not particularly like and and then not even realize that the dance floor is packed. Trust your DJ, smile, take pictures, kiss your new partner, and enjoy the best day of your life.

Tom Nicholls Photography

Chuppah-ly Ever After by Beverly Harris

Posted on May 20, 2013 by Alison in From the Expert, Jewish Traditions, Planning

Besides reviewing beautiful wedding submissions on a daily basis and helping brides with tips that could help save them from breakdown on the best day of their lives, I also love meeting new friends in the wedding industry. Beverly Harris is as classy as it gets and she sure knows a thing or two about her town, and coincidentally, her name twin, Beverly Hills. She’s also a skilled wedding planner and adores the opportunity to work with on Jewish weddings. So between working high-end events in Beverly Hills and managing the behind-the-scenes of Jewish weddings, Beverly is well-versed in chuppah design and beauty. Today she shares with us a few words about her knowledge and love for the Jewish wedding canopy!

As a wedding planner, I’ve worked on lots of Jewish weddings. One of my favorite things about a Jewish wedding is to see the bride and groom standing under the chuppah. According to the Jewish view of marriage, the purpose of marriage is both companionship and procreation. The chuppah is a marriage canopy that symbolizes the couple’s first home together.

According to many authorities the chuppah is a metaphor for groom’s house, or at any rate an actual room or building other than the bride’s parental home. By entering it, the woman is declaring her official independence from her family and accepting the protection of her husband.

I believe the chuppah is the most distinctive feature of any Jewish wedding. It actually sets the tone to the beginning of a beautiful wedding. A chuppah can be made of any material. Silk or quilted chuppot are increasingly common, and can often be customized or personalized to suit the couple’s unique interests and occupations.

These days though, chuppah design is usually more flexible, from flowers to birch branches and natural vines an so much more. The decoration possibilities are endless. The important thing is to have four secure poles and a canopy overhead. The chuppah is open on all four sides so to symbolize the welcoming of family and friends to the couple’s new home and lives together.

I’d like to share some photos of beautiful chuppahs that I think are super impressive. Happy chuppah-ing!

Wildflowers Photography

Orange Turtle Photography

Norris Photo

Guest Post by: Beverly Harris Weddings & Events

Your Futuristic Wedding

Posted on May 2, 2013 by Alison in From The Yentas, Planning

My husband and I went to an amazing wedding of our closest friends this past weekend. It was the epitome of lovely and as usual, weddings put us in a nostalgic mood for our own wedding, which was almost five years ago. We were talking about what our wedding would be like if we were getting married NOW; as in, in 2013 instead of 2008.

While our wedding was one of the best days of our lives, would it be different if it were being planned now? Yes. In 2008, it was perfect, so I’m not regretting much of anything. But it’s interesting to think about what the aesthetics might be like, who the vendors would have been, and the make up of the guest list in our fake 2013 wedding.

Take the guest list, for example. There are people in our wedding photos who are no longer as close to us for various reasons (changes in life, distance, etc.). More importantly, there are lots of people MISSING from the photos because we hadn’t met or reconnected yet. One reason we wish we could do it all over again is so that we could include those people who, just five years ago, were not present in our inner circle of wedding guests. We’ll make sure they make the list for the 50th anniversary party in 2058. They’ll arrive by flying car, right?

Photo booths were just coming into play in 2008. I wish I would have had one! I had no idea it was a “thing!” And now that I get the privilege of reviewing hundreds of weddings a year for publication on The Wedding Yentas, I now feel inspired to wear colorful peep toe heels at my fake future wedding! I wore white sandal heels and looking back, I wish I’d worn a pop of color on my shoe. There are vendors I’ve connected with since that I would have hired because I’ve come to love them as people as well as their work. Little things would have been different. Other things would stay the same. Loved my venue, for example (Spanish Hills Country Club) and I’m still obsessed with our florist (Happy Flowers).

When it comes down to it, your wedding day is really a snapshot in time. It’s a living museum of who’s important to you and what your style is like. Embrace the timeless traditions you will uphold and make your mark to represent you and your partner as a couple. Your wedding will be the most perfect reflection of you … ON YOUR WEDDING DAY. You’ll fast forward years later and find that things would be different if you were doing it all over again and that’s OK! Make your wedding day the best version of life as you know it. You’ll have fun reminiscing about what you’d change and what you’d keep in years to come.

So all this is to say: Put your heart and soul into your wedding — that’s fine! But don’t fret about making sure you’re making all the right choices to represent your lifetime as a couple. In a handful of matters, trends will be different, priorities will change, and your lives will be going in unpredictable directions. Care only about the moment of now.

The only thing that really stays the same over time is who you kiss goodnight at the end of the day.

This photo would have been more adorable if I’d been wearing a hot pink shoe! (photo by: Eight20 Photography)

A Groom With A View: Anonymous Groom Shares Wedding Day Reflections

Posted on April 17, 2013 by Alison in Groom With A View, Jewish Traditions, Planning

“The Anonymous Groom” is a newlywed who was happy to be involved in the wedding plans for his December 2012 wedding. He and his wife enjoy traveling all over the world, hosting their friends in their new home, and going out to try new restaurants and food. He works in the banking industry and is a big sports fan.

It had been 362 days since I proposed. The last year had been really busy but I really enjoyed planning our wedding with my fiancée. I was definitely a little more involved than most grooms. I took on a lot of the stress of getting everything together and in addition to the wedding planning, also started a new job and moved to a new house during our engagement. Why not do everything at the same time? Now the time had finally come to get on a plane to Chicago, where my now-wife is from, to kick off our wedding weekend.

Seeing family and friends leading up to the wedding was really fun for me. I am close with my family and have a lot of loyal friends so being surrounded by all of my favorite people was incredible. It was something I looked forward to throughout the year. In fact, my fiancée and I flew to Chicago with 17 of my family and my parents’ friends. Just being around everyone gave me a lot of energy and made me feel content. My dad’s friend, Mark, even got the flight attendants to make an announcement that we were getting married. I’m sure I turned bright red.

Our wedding was in December in Chicago so everyone was in a festive and excited mood. Michigan Avenue and the rest of the city were decorated and lit up for the holidays, and there was a seasonal chill in the air. I could feel everyone’s enthusiasm being there. For the two days before the wedding, it flurried, adding to the wintry and festive atmosphere. The night before the wedding, we had a big rehearsal dinner, and it was a great way to kick off the festivities. There were some touching speeches, and I was really emotional and tried to hold back my tears. I was surprised that I was only able to consume one slice of deep dish pizza that night!

The night before the wedding, being traditional, my then-fiancée kicked me out of our hotel room. One of my groomsman and his fiancée were nice enough to let me crash on a cot in their room. I slept okay but didn’t sleep that well. I was excited, not nervous, and I wanted to be in the moment on my wedding day.

I remember going to my parents’ hotel room in the early morning after I had something light to eat for breakfast. I came into the room, saw my mom, and we both just broke down, overcome by the emotion of the day and that feeling that time goes by too fast. I remember embracing my mom for a few minutes, reminiscing about lots of good times over the years growing up. I think I got most of the emotion and tears out at that point. I felt a lot of emotions throughout the day, but kept my composure for the most part.

My bride and I were going to have our “first look” sometime in the early afternoon. Seeing my fiancée in that white dress for the first time was an unforgettable moment. I also really enjoyed witnessing the father of the bride seeing her for the first time. My fiancée and her dad are really close so it was special for me to see them share a few moments together.

It was a cold but clear day so my wife and I decided to take off around the city with our photographer, videographer, and their crews. For me, it felt like we were the only two people in the world. I felt like we were celebrities at our own photo shoot. We got some great shots in front of some of Chicago’s gorgeous architectural landmarks and also got some starker shots in city’s Loop. By the way, our photos are amazing.

You know how in the movies there’s that scene or that moment where the groom has cold feet? Well, that didn’t happen for me at all on my wedding day. When it came time to walk down the aisle, I was very calm, comfortable, and contented. I knew I was in love, that I was marrying the right person, and that I wanted her to be my partner-in-crime for the rest of my life.

It felt wonderful to walk down the floral-lined aisle with my dad on one side and my mom on the other. It was also really special to watch my bride walk down the aisle with her parents, seeing their joy and happiness. During the ceremony and the reception, I tried to be in the moment and tried to capture everything in my mind so that I would never forget it. It was a challenge for me because every time I got too into the moment and really thought “wow, this is my wedding day,” I got pretty emotional.

Incorporating Jewish traditions into our ceremony was particularly special to me. We got married under a chuppah made with my grandfather’s tallit, we circled each other, and I broke the glass. I felt a genuine connection to my family, culture, and religion, knowing that my parents, grandparents, and ancestors followed the same customs at their weddings.

The party was just awesome and it went by just way too fast. Our band played their hearts out from the Horah all the way through the last song. They really made the party and brought a ton of energy to the room.

And then, just like that, the night was over. I suppose nothing good can last forever. I wouldn’t have changed a thing about it though. At least we still had our honeymoon to look forward to.