Category Archives: Planning

6 Steps To Easy Shoe Shopping That’s A Shoe-in!

Shoes! They are like the fun sidekick to our other best friends: diamonds. We gals love our shoes, and shopping for wedding shoes can be fun, but because they’re WEDDING shoes, they carry a little more significance and also require a new set of requirements.

Jason Kaczorowski Photography

Jason Kaczorowski Photography

I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s worn a super hot pair of shoes and then hobbled around halfway through the event cursing my feet and hearing them buzz with throbbing pangs at the end of the night. Every time this happens, we say “never again!” and yet, there we are, partying at another event, with leather digging in, or heels tingling with numbness, or toes getting shmushed by straps. Why do we torture ourselves? It’s bad enough we have to hold our pee all night because we have to wear Spanx! (Ok, well I do.).

I’m all about cute shoes, but pain is not a welcome guest on your wedding day.

The last thing you want is distraction from aching sore feet as you enjoy your ceremony and reception. And there’s nothing glamorous about a bride who winces and limps across the dance floor. And simply removing your shoes can be dangerous because your dress will suddenly get longer and you’ll take a trip before your honeymoon even begins.

You want stylish and comfortable? It’s possible! Start your wedding day off on the right (and left) foot: wear the right shoes!

Mi Belle Photography

Mi Belle Photography

  1. If you’ve never worn heels before, this is not the time to start. You’ll lose more than Cinderella’s glass slipper at midnight. You’ll lose your balance. And from there, your dignity. And from there… Ok, I will stop. Your wedding day is not the time to play dress up. If you haven’t had practice in any kind of height, you’ll only experience lows.
  2. Think about your dress. Make sure your doo-dads aren’t fighting. If your dress is enhanced with pearly details, you’ll probably want to stay away from shoes that have lots of bling. They just won’t go. If your dress is ivory and your shoes are white, ehhh, they may not work well together. On the other hand, don’t be afraid to complement your dress with your shoes! A fun pop of color! Lots of blingy shoes for a simple unembellished dress! A cool pattern!
  3. Think about your groom’s height. If you two are the same height already, you’ll gain some inches on him once you don the heels. Make sure he’s cool with whatever height you become so that you’ll like how your pairing looks in pictures. If you’re already taller than your groom, then this is a non-issue and you go rock those legs, girlfriend!
  4. If money is an issue, don’t spend a lot or any at all. Shoes aren’t really the focal point of your wedding ensemble. If you’d rather put the cash toward your photographer, you can save a lot by shopping at stores with a large variety or with heavy discounts (try Macy’s, Payless, Aldo Shoes , Shoes.com, Zappos). If shoes are not really that important to you, you could also borrow a pair of shoes from a friend or family member. And there you go, you have our “something borrowed!”
  5. Be a two-shoe gal! You can always bring a comfy pair of shoes to wear for your reception or when your feet start to kill you. Just make sure they still fit with your dress, taking into consideration the style and the length of your dress. If you must have those hotsy totsy pair of amazing designer shoes for your photos, then I say go for it! Then, when you’re done with them, send them to me slap on another pair that may be a bit more comfy for your tootsies. Maybe just wait until after the Horah so everyone can see your cute shoes popping out from your dress when you two go up in the chairs.
  6. If you end up wearing heels, break them in! Before your wedding day, get to know your shoes. Become one with your shoes. Make your shoes your biatch. Basically, your feet should be like, “Ohhhh heeeey! Nice to feel you again! Welcome back! Get on here, you ol whippersnapper, you!” Seriously, if your shoes don’t talk to you, you have bigger problems.

Happy shoe shopping! May your two soles/souls fall in love!

Jessika Feltz Photography

Jessika Feltz Photography

10 Questions to Ask When You’re Interviewing Professional Wedding Photographers

I have always been an advocate for professional wedding photography. I cringe when I hear about couples “hiring” Uncle Bob to take the photos on the most important day of their lives. Just because someone has a fancy-shmancy camera doesn’t mean they can use it to the best of its ability. And even if they can, that doesn’t mean they know weddings. Even if your friend or relative is a professional photographer, he or she may not deliver the best potential photos if the professional photography covers… nature. Or cars. Or even babies. Every genre has its own daunting requirements, and wedding photography is no different.

A professional wedding photographer has worked as a second shooter under another leader in the industry at some point, understands the general flow of a wedding, and has great people-skills to manage groups of family and friends as well as you and your partner during intimate moments throughout the day and the days leading up. You’ll also work with your photographer after you’re all good and married because you’ll need to design your album together, so having a comfortable rapport is a must!

Hopefully I’ve convinced you to hire a professional wedding photographer, and you’re now considering a few different companies to interview. Choosing who to hire is a big decision and is probably on the same level of importance as choosing your venue. Do not cut corners on photography. You will regret it and that will make me sad. Careful consideration and a chunk of your budget should go into your wedding photography selection.

So how do you decide? What do you ask? Keep reading!

  1. Do you pre-scout locations at your wedding venues? A wedding day goes by pretty quickly! Nobody should be wasting time figuring out the best spots to photograph you! “Nobody” means you, your partner, your family, your maid of honor, and certainly not your photographer. Hopefully, your photographer has either worked the venue a bunch of times and knows every nook and cranny that would benefit the look of your photos. If your wedding photographer has not shot at the location before, that’s OK, but I would hope he or she would check out the venue in advance and take into consideration the time of day the shooting will actually take place so that the proper lighting and angles will complement you as you star in your wedding photos.
  2. How do you shoot in non-ideal shooting circumstances? Small rooms, bad light, weird angles, far shots — these situations occur, especially if you’re getting married inside in the synagogue. There’s nothing wrong with getting married in the sanctuary, but just keep in mind, it could be a photography nightmare for someone who’s not a seasoned pro. So ask the photographer how they deal and make sure you’re cool with their plans for these likely variables. Adapting is key. They can’t fix these shooting conditions, but someone who knows what they’re doing can still produce excellent photos.
  3. Do you have an assistant and what does your assistant do? Have a clear understanding of what the assistant shooter handles on the day of the wedding. Is it the details shots? The far away or side angle images? Is it the getting-ready session with the groom and his guys? Ask these questions to understand how your day will be photographed so you can have open communication and comprehension of the flow. Yes, you are hiring a photographer, but you are also getting his or her work style and system in the price. Make sure you like it along with the photographer’s personality and photo products.
  4. Do you work with the videographer to share the space? Like cross-town high schools, photographers and videographers can become wedding rivals. That’s not necessary, but it happens. Your photographer should feel comfortable advocating for his or her work and setting up a system that will help both the photos and the video succeed in capturing your day. Both vendors are important to you and the preservation of your memories. A true professional has the communication skills to work the videographer and, really, all vendors who are part of your wedding team.
  5. What’s the deal with your back-up gear? You don’t even have to understand everything about camera technology, but it’s important to know that your photographer has a plan if shtuff hits the fan. Ask about the gear he or she uses. Most likely it’ll be either Canon or Nikon. You don’t have to agree, prefer, or even know the difference between the two, but they are both great brands of equipment. Also make sure you know that the photographer has back-up batteries, cards, lenses, and other gear that will ensure your memories will be captured even in an emergency. Your photographer should have relationships with other photographers or camera stores in case borrowed or rented equipment has to save the day in an emergency situation.
  6. What happens if you can’t shoot my wedding? Photographers get sick, too. Or get into car accidents. Or sprain their ankles. And while we never wish this on anyone, we certainly don’t wish this on our photographers near our wedding dates. But hey, accidents do happen. So ask the potential photographer what the plan of action is in an emergency and if he or she can’t be at your wedding. Find out who the back up photographer(s) will be in the event the hired photographer can’t make it. The photographer may not be able to give you the exact name, number, address, weight, blood type, and SSN of a singular person, but he or she should have a Rolodex of colleagues to have cover if something icky should happen.
  7. What happens if there are still important wedding events to photograph, but the time on our contract expires? Here’s the thing, you are not asking your photographer to shoot and not bill for time. That’s called slavery. You are more than willing to pay for the time for your professional wedding photographer, but make sure you know the protocol for staying longer than the contracted hours. Sometimes, weddings run late or the events of the Wedding Olympics don’t go as scheduled. So if your photographer has been contracted to stay until 9 p.m. and your cake cutting hasn’t happened yet, how does paying for more time work? Whats the cost? How do you pay? Most photographers should be able to stay longer for a price. Make sure those details are on the table.
  8. Do you blog? To be honest, I am nervous about photographers who don’t blog or take part in social media. That tells me they are not up-to-date on current wedding trends and operations and lack some business savvy. I know that’s a really bold statement to make, but I would personally have a hard time hiring a photographer who is not staying on track with the climate of the wedding industry. So, I would want my photographer to blog. Still, you may not want to be featured on a blog or on social media. Be sure to say so, so that you and your photo team are on the same page about your privacy preferences. This also goes for submissions to wedding blogs (ahem!) and Facebook albums.
  9. When do I have to order my album? Wedding albums are no joke. It’s not a project you want to rush through or haphazardly design. You need time, patience, and, well, quite a few dollar bills. Find out when you’re expected to select photos for the album so that you have a reasonable timeline to expect. If there’s an expiration, you’ll be able to budget and save appropriately for the album as well as make photo decisions in a timely manner.
  10. When can I expect to see the finished work? Once the bouquet has wilted and your thank you notes are mailed, you’ll be eager to view the finished photos. Having a clear expectation of when that will happen will make your post-wedding blues ease up. Some photographers will have teasers ready for you before you get back from your honeymoon! Others will take three or so months to show you raw images. There’s no real right or wrong answer, but knowing an answer at all is more than half the battle. It really is so exciting to see teasers or, of course, a whole gallery when they’re up! Hopefully, it happens soon!
Photo by Amie Fedora Photography

Photo by Amie Fedora Photography

Where Do You Stand On Mismatched Bridesmaid Dresses?

The recent trend of mismatched bridesmaids is hotter than latkes straight from the frying pan. We are seeing the gals dressed beautifully — differently — but beautifully. Brides have many reasons for encouraging this look, including each bridesmaid’s own style and look, size and body shape, and nurturing individuality instead of a cluster of girlfriends. While it can sometimes be easier to just pick out a single dress in a single color and dress your maids in that uniform, coordinating mismatched bridesmaids doesn’t have to be too complicated. They can still be your team as you say “I do” even if they’re dressed in a way that represents them for the reasons they’re your besties in the first place. And in the end, you have a great vision that comes to life down your aisle.

One Color, Many Shades
Have a view for the hue. You can choose a monochromatic color scheme for the dresses by selecting a general color and then differentiate each bridesmaid with a different shade of that color. Working with neutrals? Try beige, champagne, olive, mocha, and cream. Want something bright like pink? You can do salmon, fuchsia, ballet shoe, bubblegum, and rose.

See where this is going? All of the shades complement each other and belong to the parent color, but still showcase their own individual splash. If you’re concerned about the look being too inconsistent, just remember that your maids will most likely carry identical bouquets or you can gift them a piece of jewelry that ties the ensembles together. Take it up a notch and give the gals the same accessories like patterned tights or a sash tied in a bow.

Different Colors, Same Dress
You can still achieve the mismatched look if all your bridesmaids wear the same dress. How? Different colors! If it’s reasonable to put all the girls in the same dress, spice up the look and include splashes of color. Again, the colors are still complementing each other, but they’re changing a single dress to appear as different dresses.

This has been successfully executed with jewel toned or peacock colors. This concept also works well with pastels. The same dress in baby pink, gray, lavender, and cream would be so soft and beautiful. Likewise, a single dress that’s worn in purple, turquoise, magenta, and midnight blue could be breathtaking for a bright and dramatic look.

Different colors in similar dresses were made famous thanks to everyone’s favorite blogger, Carrie Bradshaw of Sex and the City. Remember her wedding? Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha all wore long, glitzy dresses but each in a different color. The dresses were not exactly the same, but they definitely landed in the same family of dresses: fabulous.

One Color, Many Styles
Another way to change up the individual look of each bridesmaid is to select one color in the same shade, but wear it on any style dress. Pick a color. Purple? Blue? Cappuccino? Great. Now, find dresses that come in that one color. The best way to do this is to choose a single dress designer. Stay within that brand and order at the same time to ensure that your color swatches are consistent. Most designers can accommodate their many dress styles and cuts in one color.

Pick two or three varieties of the dress. Maybe with straps, without straps, and one shouldered. Or long, short, and tea length. Or ruffles, sash, or sweetheart neck. All of these styles are different groupings from the same family. Make sure, though, that the varieties or more or less evenly distributed. The maids should stand out as individual bridesmaids, but not take away from each other or you. Therefore, a bridal party with four short dresses and one long dress may do more to distract than blend, especially if you’re the only one in a long wedding gown. So as you distribute styles of dresses among the bridesmaids, make sure that the same types are sprinkled evenly.

mismatched-bridesmaid-dresses

mismatched-bridesmaid-dresses

Want More?
Other ways to spice up your bridesmaids with different looks: The girls can all wear earrings… but in different colors! They can all have bouquets… but with different flowers! They can all wear one shoe color… but in various styles! Pick a theme and then go wild. You don’t have to make every piece different in a bridesmaid’s look, but stay within a range to maintain the vision. The gals in the first picture below are all wearing the exact same dress style and color. Then, your eye catches their ankles and below and it’s like a party on their feet! Super fun. Underneath, the photos shows the opposite: the bridesmaids are all wearing different dresses within the same style and color scheme, but their tootsies are all hugged by the same shoes! Swoon!

So what do you think? Are you going for a mismatched bridesmaid look? What are some ideas you have for achieving this super hot trend?

911! 911! Wedding Day Emergency Kit!!

We should all be prepared for natural disasters — earthquakes, hurricanes, fires — but what about wedding disasters? Hey, they happen. Certain things you can’t avoid… like the best man getting too drunk and telling embarrassing stories during his toast. But there are other small snags you do have control over, and I’m here to help you make sure you’re prepared for bridal emergencies.

Also, I have a special treat for you: It’s my birthday on Friday. I’m turning 30. My lifetime is basically 75% of Moses’s little stroll through the desert. I am SO. OLD. So for MY birthday, I’m giving YOU, one lucky reader, a bridal emergency kit… or what I like to call, Meshugena Materials. Ya know, for when something wrong happens and you kind of go a little meshugena because it’s only the most important day of your life. So, happy birthday to me! Let’s find out about what every bride should have in her Meshugena Materials.

emergency

Pain reliever:
You might wake up with a headache or accumulate one from stress throughout the day. Pop a pill of your choice and let your pain melt away. Stock up on a small travel pack or travel bottle and add it to your Meshugena Materials. Headaches can be such a buzz kill!

Band-Aids:
Those damn shoes from your rehearsal dinner might have left a bad impression on your feet. I know, they were Chanels, but still! Beauty is pain and we discovered this long ago. So pack some Band-Aids to smother blisters on your feet or cuts on your legs (eeek! What if you cut yourself while shaving? No blood on the wedding dress, please!). Crossing fingers you don’t to use them, but it would be worse to be without them, dontcha think?

Chalk:
No, your wedding isn’t a crime scene but it would be a crime if you smudged something on your WHITE DRESS (omg kill me now). Did you know that white chalk can cover up any superficial smear on your gown? Pack a few sticks and if you get a grease swipe from the car or some self tanner smudges off, you can cover it with some chalk. It sounds crazy, but it works.

Clear Nail Polish:
It’s unlikely you’ll be wearing tights, but if someone is, clear nail polish helps isolate a snag to keep it from spreading. Also, if you chip your nail, it’ll be annoying that you’ll have a missing chunk of color, but painting some clear nail polish over the area will smooth out the nail so you don’t get any threads caught or allow it to chip further. Basically, clear nail polish is amazing.

Dental Floss:
Stuff in your teeth isn’t cute. Duh. But also, dental floss helps tie up any loose ends. If a bracelet or necklace breaks, you can MacGuyver the jewelry by threading it together with some floss (true story: I did this with my wedding day bracelet that was too big). Or if a button from your bustle is dangling, thread it with some dental floss.

Hair Ties or Pins:
Bobby pins or ponytail elastics are crucial for hair emergencies. You may not be able to replicate your originally perfectly styled hair, but at least you can make sure it’s comfortable and neat looking.

Straws:
You’ll toast with Champagne. You’ll drink water to stay hydrated. You’ll have a DC with your lunch. but you do not want to mess up your lips! Add some straws (bonus if they’re flexi straws!) to your Meshugena Materials so you can drink up AND preserve your punem.

Tissues:
I think this one is self explanatory. If you need me to explain what you do with tissues, then I think we have a bigger emergency.

Tweezers:
A stray hair will drive you meshugena! Include tweezers with your Meshugena Materials.

Breath Mints/Drops:
You’ll be smoochin’! You’ll be close-talking with Aunt Elaine. You don’t want to be the bride with the bad breath. A little mint goes a long way so pick your favorite flavor and keep halitosis away.

Superglue:
When used properly, superglue is really super. It’s the best fixer upper for a broken nail, shoe heel, decorations, jewelry, bouquet doo-dads, and hair accessories.

Basic Toiletries:
Lotion, chap stick, deodorant — it’s a loooong day. You’ll want to keep things on hand with you as you travel from event to event. Touch ups from all three will serve you well and give you peace of mind that you’re moisturized and fresh.

Do you have any additional tips or ideas for our Meshugena Materials? We’d love to hear your wise words from experience!

Want to make me the happiest birthday girl ever and win a bag of bridal Meshugena Materials with some of the goodies listed here? Comment here or on Facebook now through Sunday night at 11:59 PST with your go-to secret weapon for bridal or special occasion emergencies. Winner will be selected at random and announced on Monday, June 10!

How To Write Your Wedding Vows

There are the traditional words that your officiant will have you repeat as you go through your Jewish or interfaith ceremony, but it may be your wish to express yourselves with your own personal words. I love the idea of writing your vows to customize your wedding because your guests get a chance to get to know you even better as individuals and as a couple.

You may be the type to have written your vows months in advance with a confident grin sprayed across your face. Or, you may be the type to be in the middle of your eyelash application on the morning of your wedding still without any idea of what to say. Whether you’re a planner or a last minute writer, these tips should be able to help you feel good about the words you’ll share with your love in front of your loved ones.

There’s nothing worse than writer’s block. Trust me. I know this first hand. There are so many nights I stare at a blank page on the back end of The Wedding Yentas and agonize over what to write for all of you. But then I just … write. I just dump out ideas. They are raw and messy and completely disjointed, but once I find a concept that seems to afford itself some kind of direction, I then fine tune the words so they make sense for you. You should’ve seen THIS post before that whole exercise. Oy!

So, what I’m saying is, jot down some notes. Scribble out some thoughts. They don’t have to make sense to anyone, but you. This step of the process is more of a brain wake up than a development of a masterpiece.

Writing your wedding vows -- Photo by Sharon Schuster

You can even do some research. Yes, you can even Google your wedding vows. I don’t mean to tell you to copy a stranger’s words entirely, but perhaps you’ll stumble across something that inspires you. Or maybe you’ll find a quote that you’ll want to weave into your own vows. This is a great way to fuel your ideas and personal words.

Then, add some of your own anecdotes. You can go all out with the mush factor or you can spice up your vows with humor. Personally, I love a little mish-mosh of both. A little sarcasm has a place in a wedding ceremony. Plus, if you don’t have a sense of humor, the ebbs and flows of marriage are going to be a little rough on you. May as well set the humorous tone from the very beginning, right?

You can list things that are important to you. For instance, I vowed to give Mr. Yenta total ownership of the remote control and to let him eat all the mushrooms off my plate because I hate them (plus, he’s a fun guy… haha, get it?). Then I also went the sappy route, declaring how much he changed my life for the better and opening up about our dreams for the future. I tied in our interests — theatre, baseball, traveling, food — and also touched on some memories. I sealed it in with my feelings. I share this to assist you in your brainstorm for your own vows.

Photo by Eight20 Photography

Lastly, when you finally settle on your words, your tone, and your flow, you’ll want to rehearse it a little so you’re comfortable with the words in your mouth. You don’t have to memorize it because often, vows recited by memory sound insincere. But you should at least be very familiar with it so that you’ll feel secure if you end up getting distracted from giggles or, more likely, tears.

And if you come up with your vows minutes before walking down the aisle then all I have to tell you is to speak from your heart like I hope you will from that day forward.