Almost everyone has that shoebox. You know the one I’m talking about. The one without any shoes inside.
Instead, you’ve curated old pictures, letters, and tsotchkes from your old relationship. That’s right, it’s the Ex Box.
But now you’re getting married and the miniature museum of old flames sleeps quietly under your bed among old magazines and knock off handbags. Just because you still have a box of these things — and you only have them because the alternative, throwing them away, seems way harsh, Tai — doesn’t mean that you’re held to an expectation of involving your exes in your new (and improved?) life.
It’s quite possible that you’re even still friendly with your exes. I actually am. At the very least, they’re my Facebook friends. And I even run into a few now and then and exchange pleasant conversation when the occasion arises. However, none of them came to my wedding.
If things ended really happy-go-lucky with your ex and you are truly good friends who stay in touch beyond the superficial stuff, then sure, your ex seems to have earned a place at your wedding just like the rest of your friends.
However, if your ex is only still in your life simply due to mutual friends or convenient circumstances, but no other reasons that warrant an invitation to your wedding, then it’s suggested your big day go on sans ex.
But no matter what the circumstance is, if your present has an issue at all with your past, then your ex is simply not invited, no matter how friendly you are. Remember that your allegiance is to your current and forever partner, so if he or she has any problem processing why or how your ex would be invited to the wedding, then that decision stands. Obviously this works the other way around as well, if the person you are marrying is proposing that an ex be invited and you’re not cool with it. You both need to be happy in order for this to work. Bottomline.
Being on the fence about inviting your ex is OK. Being certain that you’re making the right decision for you and the lucky person standing under the chuppah with you is what matters most. You may have an old box full of momentos from someone else, but you have a lifetime of memories to make with your love. When it comes to inviting your ex, you should have a strong reason why.
