Unlike Tevye’s daughters in “Fiddler on the Roof,” you don’t exactly need a dowry and probably already have your own apartment or home filled with furniture, dishes, and tchotchkes galore. Odds are you’ve been living on your own for quite some time and have your own way of doing things.
With all the excitement of planning a wedding and the anticipation of the big day, you might not have thought about how you will merge two homes into one. It’s quite possible that between you exist duplicates of everyday living, such as small appliances, flat-screen TVs, and the cushy sofa you snuggle up on to watch Mad Men.
Here are some ideas to help you blend your two homes into one and survive the process without coming to blows. I think we all remember the famous “wagon-wheel” coffee table scene from the movie, When Harry Met Sally, and would do anything to avoid that situation.
Compromise is an integral ingredient of a successful marriage and communication is key. Figure out which items are most important to you, what you are willing to let go, and be sensitive to your partner’s desires as well.
What to Keep/What to Donate/Sell
Take a full inventory of both homes to identify duplicates. Try to be objective and figure which items will fit best in your new space, and how they will be used. This can really come in handy as you develop your bridal registry. No sense in having something in triplicate. I recommend taking measurements of large furniture (sofas, tables, chairs) to determine which pieces will fit best in your new home.
Be sensible: keep the newer, small appliances and donate the old toaster, can opener, etc. Be sensitive, too, if your partner just loves the coffee mug with his fraternity logo; it’s okay to keep it. Don’t sweat the small stuff!
Anything you don’t keep can be sold or donated. If you have the time and an accessible yard or driveway holding a garage sale could be fun. If that doesn’t float your boat, Craigslist is a good place to sell just about anything. Things that don’t sell can be donated to the charity of your choice. The National Council of Jewish Women will come and pick up your items.
To schedule a pick-up call 1-800-400-6259 or visit their website.
Household Chores/Bill Paying
The unfortunate truth is that our daily lives are filled with many mundane tasks. Identifying who does what and choosing the tasks you like to do can make life so much easier. Sit down with your fiance and make a list of household chores. Talk about how each of you currently accomplish these tasks and which ones you like and don’t like to do. Maybe one person likes to pay bills while the other one is happy to do the dishes.
Home Organization
Think of your new home as the foundation of your new life together. With the infrastructure in place, maintaining a sense of order and organization will be so much easier.
Essentially, everything needs a home and like-items go together. This really applies to every area of the home. The pantry is a good example. Set up zones with categorical items: baking, pasta/sauces; canned goods; cereals/breakfast items; spices/oils/vinegars; cookies/candy/desserts, etc. Creating zones in your pantry cuts down on overbuying at the grocery store.
This philosophy can applied to any area where items are stored: wardrobe closet, linen closet, drawers, and under the sink. If all your black pants are hanging next to each other it makes it easier to find them and pretty obvious that you don’t need another pair!
Files Instead of Piles
With mail coming in for two things can pile up quickly. Papers need a home, too. You can certainly maintain two sets of files but I would recommend merging household files, such as insurance, shared credit cards, etc. If you decide to merge your household files, be sure to agree on the name of file so you both can retrieve information. For example, create a tab called AUTO and have two files, one with the name of your car and the other with the name of your finance’s car.
Going through this process before you are married will save time, money, and aggravation later. With a little upfront planning, merging your two homes into one will be a breeze. Take the time to set up your foundation and enjoy the results.
Follow my motto: organize to simplify, and have more time for the fun stuff.
Cindy Kamm has been an organizing specialist since 2003. A former marketing professional, Cindy brings her passion for organizing to homes and offices in greater L.A. Customized solutions are created for each client, designed to fit with their personality and lifestyle. From kitchens to closets, no job is too big or too small. Cindy can be reached at 310-963-5826; cindy@details-etc.com; www.details-etc.com.
