Category Archives: From The Yentas

Get the Low Down on Short Wedding Dresses

A wedding dress above the ankles is nothing short on style. In fact, short wedding dresses can be just as fashionable — if not more! — than your more formal, long dress. There’s a time and a place for a short wedding dress and if the rest of your wedding day style can swing it, I say go big — well, short — or go home!

I am so inspired by my fellow Yentas who have featured weddings on the site. Remember Marissa who looked super chic and sophisticated in her to-the-knee white cocktail dress from Sak’s? I think we could all take a page from her stylish book!

If you’re having an intimate wedding, an artsy wedding, a beachy wedding, a courthouse wedding, or a destination wedding, a short dress may just be for you! And maybe you have killer legs or you just do not want that big pouffy dress. I found that GCGMe has the best high quality dresses. That is a-okay in my eyes! Short wedding dresses can still make a statement with fabulous style and current trends.

You can still keep Jewish traditions alive with a short wedding dress. If you need your shoulders covered, there are some great boleros or cardigans that would add even more style to the entire look. And if you plan to wear a veil, there is no better way to go with a birdcage! So if you’re on spilkes that you have to wear a traditional wedding gown in order to keep your vows kosher under the chuppah, you can still have a Jewish wedding and stay true to your style and what you love.

The long and short of it is: you can totally pull of the short wedding dress!

And now we’ve reached the portion of this post where we get to stare at photos. Because, really, who doesn’t like to stare at photos of pretty dresses?

Kate Spade New York 'Gimlet' Silk Sheath Dress from Nordstrom

Robert Rodriguez Black Label Daniela Bead-Top Dress from Neiman Marcus

Albury Gown by Watters

Sue Wong Organza Petal Sheath Dress from Nordstrom

8154 by Watters

Lela Rose Brocade Sheath Dress from Neiman Marcus

10 Questions to Ask When You’re Interviewing Professional Wedding Photographers

I have always been an advocate for professional wedding photography. I cringe when I hear about couples “hiring” Uncle Bob to take the photos on the most important day of their lives. Just because someone has a fancy-shmancy camera doesn’t mean they can use it to the best of its ability. And even if they can, that doesn’t mean they know weddings. Even if your friend or relative is a professional photographer, he or she may not deliver the best potential photos if the professional photography covers… nature. Or cars. Or even babies. Every genre has its own daunting requirements, and wedding photography is no different.

A professional wedding photographer has worked as a second shooter under another leader in the industry at some point, understands the general flow of a wedding, and has great people-skills to manage groups of family and friends as well as you and your partner during intimate moments throughout the day and the days leading up. You’ll also work with your photographer after you’re all good and married because you’ll need to design your album together, so having a comfortable rapport is a must!

Hopefully I’ve convinced you to hire a professional wedding photographer, and you’re now considering a few different companies to interview. Choosing who to hire is a big decision and is probably on the same level of importance as choosing your venue. Do not cut corners on photography. You will regret it and that will make me sad. Careful consideration and a chunk of your budget should go into your wedding photography selection.

So how do you decide? What do you ask? Keep reading!

  1. Do you pre-scout locations at your wedding venues? A wedding day goes by pretty quickly! Nobody should be wasting time figuring out the best spots to photograph you! “Nobody” means you, your partner, your family, your maid of honor, and certainly not your photographer. Hopefully, your photographer has either worked the venue a bunch of times and knows every nook and cranny that would benefit the look of your photos. If your wedding photographer has not shot at the location before, that’s OK, but I would hope he or she would check out the venue in advance and take into consideration the time of day the shooting will actually take place so that the proper lighting and angles will complement you as you star in your wedding photos.
  2. How do you shoot in non-ideal shooting circumstances? Small rooms, bad light, weird angles, far shots — these situations occur, especially if you’re getting married inside in the synagogue. There’s nothing wrong with getting married in the sanctuary, but just keep in mind, it could be a photography nightmare for someone who’s not a seasoned pro. So ask the photographer how they deal and make sure you’re cool with their plans for these likely variables. Adapting is key. They can’t fix these shooting conditions, but someone who knows what they’re doing can still produce excellent photos.
  3. Do you have an assistant and what does your assistant do? Have a clear understanding of what the assistant shooter handles on the day of the wedding. Is it the details shots? The far away or side angle images? Is it the getting-ready session with the groom and his guys? Ask these questions to understand how your day will be photographed so you can have open communication and comprehension of the flow. Yes, you are hiring a photographer, but you are also getting his or her work style and system in the price. Make sure you like it along with the photographer’s personality and photo products.
  4. Do you work with the videographer to share the space? Like cross-town high schools, photographers and videographers can become wedding rivals. That’s not necessary, but it happens. Your photographer should feel comfortable advocating for his or her work and setting up a system that will help both the photos and the video succeed in capturing your day. Both vendors are important to you and the preservation of your memories. A true professional has the communication skills to work the videographer and, really, all vendors who are part of your wedding team.
  5. What’s the deal with your back-up gear? You don’t even have to understand everything about camera technology, but it’s important to know that your photographer has a plan if shtuff hits the fan. Ask about the gear he or she uses. Most likely it’ll be either Canon or Nikon. You don’t have to agree, prefer, or even know the difference between the two, but they are both great brands of equipment. Also make sure you know that the photographer has back-up batteries, cards, lenses, and other gear that will ensure your memories will be captured even in an emergency. Your photographer should have relationships with other photographers or camera stores in case borrowed or rented equipment has to save the day in an emergency situation.
  6. What happens if you can’t shoot my wedding? Photographers get sick, too. Or get into car accidents. Or sprain their ankles. And while we never wish this on anyone, we certainly don’t wish this on our photographers near our wedding dates. But hey, accidents do happen. So ask the potential photographer what the plan of action is in an emergency and if he or she can’t be at your wedding. Find out who the back up photographer(s) will be in the event the hired photographer can’t make it. The photographer may not be able to give you the exact name, number, address, weight, blood type, and SSN of a singular person, but he or she should have a Rolodex of colleagues to have cover if something icky should happen.
  7. What happens if there are still important wedding events to photograph, but the time on our contract expires? Here’s the thing, you are not asking your photographer to shoot and not bill for time. That’s called slavery. You are more than willing to pay for the time for your professional wedding photographer, but make sure you know the protocol for staying longer than the contracted hours. Sometimes, weddings run late or the events of the Wedding Olympics don’t go as scheduled. So if your photographer has been contracted to stay until 9 p.m. and your cake cutting hasn’t happened yet, how does paying for more time work? Whats the cost? How do you pay? Most photographers should be able to stay longer for a price. Make sure those details are on the table.
  8. Do you blog? To be honest, I am nervous about photographers who don’t blog or take part in social media. That tells me they are not up-to-date on current wedding trends and operations and lack some business savvy. I know that’s a really bold statement to make, but I would personally have a hard time hiring a photographer who is not staying on track with the climate of the wedding industry. So, I would want my photographer to blog. Still, you may not want to be featured on a blog or on social media. Be sure to say so, so that you and your photo team are on the same page about your privacy preferences. This also goes for submissions to wedding blogs (ahem!) and Facebook albums.
  9. When do I have to order my album? Wedding albums are no joke. It’s not a project you want to rush through or haphazardly design. You need time, patience, and, well, quite a few dollar bills. Find out when you’re expected to select photos for the album so that you have a reasonable timeline to expect. If there’s an expiration, you’ll be able to budget and save appropriately for the album as well as make photo decisions in a timely manner.
  10. When can I expect to see the finished work? Once the bouquet has wilted and your thank you notes are mailed, you’ll be eager to view the finished photos. Having a clear expectation of when that will happen will make your post-wedding blues ease up. Some photographers will have teasers ready for you before you get back from your honeymoon! Others will take three or so months to show you raw images. There’s no real right or wrong answer, but knowing an answer at all is more than half the battle. It really is so exciting to see teasers or, of course, a whole gallery when they’re up! Hopefully, it happens soon!
Photo by Amie Fedora Photography

Photo by Amie Fedora Photography

911! 911! Wedding Day Emergency Kit!!

We should all be prepared for natural disasters — earthquakes, hurricanes, fires — but what about wedding disasters? Hey, they happen. Certain things you can’t avoid… like the best man getting too drunk and telling embarrassing stories during his toast. But there are other small snags you do have control over, and I’m here to help you make sure you’re prepared for bridal emergencies.

Also, I have a special treat for you: It’s my birthday on Friday. I’m turning 30. My lifetime is basically 75% of Moses’s little stroll through the desert. I am SO. OLD. So for MY birthday, I’m giving YOU, one lucky reader, a bridal emergency kit… or what I like to call, Meshugena Materials. Ya know, for when something wrong happens and you kind of go a little meshugena because it’s only the most important day of your life. So, happy birthday to me! Let’s find out about what every bride should have in her Meshugena Materials.

emergency

Pain reliever:
You might wake up with a headache or accumulate one from stress throughout the day. Pop a pill of your choice and let your pain melt away. Stock up on a small travel pack or travel bottle and add it to your Meshugena Materials. Headaches can be such a buzz kill!

Band-Aids:
Those damn shoes from your rehearsal dinner might have left a bad impression on your feet. I know, they were Chanels, but still! Beauty is pain and we discovered this long ago. So pack some Band-Aids to smother blisters on your feet or cuts on your legs (eeek! What if you cut yourself while shaving? No blood on the wedding dress, please!). Crossing fingers you don’t to use them, but it would be worse to be without them, dontcha think?

Chalk:
No, your wedding isn’t a crime scene but it would be a crime if you smudged something on your WHITE DRESS (omg kill me now). Did you know that white chalk can cover up any superficial smear on your gown? Pack a few sticks and if you get a grease swipe from the car or some self tanner smudges off, you can cover it with some chalk. It sounds crazy, but it works.

Clear Nail Polish:
It’s unlikely you’ll be wearing tights, but if someone is, clear nail polish helps isolate a snag to keep it from spreading. Also, if you chip your nail, it’ll be annoying that you’ll have a missing chunk of color, but painting some clear nail polish over the area will smooth out the nail so you don’t get any threads caught or allow it to chip further. Basically, clear nail polish is amazing.

Dental Floss:
Stuff in your teeth isn’t cute. Duh. But also, dental floss helps tie up any loose ends. If a bracelet or necklace breaks, you can MacGuyver the jewelry by threading it together with some floss (true story: I did this with my wedding day bracelet that was too big). Or if a button from your bustle is dangling, thread it with some dental floss.

Hair Ties or Pins:
Bobby pins or ponytail elastics are crucial for hair emergencies. You may not be able to replicate your originally perfectly styled hair, but at least you can make sure it’s comfortable and neat looking.

Straws:
You’ll toast with Champagne. You’ll drink water to stay hydrated. You’ll have a DC with your lunch. but you do not want to mess up your lips! Add some straws (bonus if they’re flexi straws!) to your Meshugena Materials so you can drink up AND preserve your punem.

Tissues:
I think this one is self explanatory. If you need me to explain what you do with tissues, then I think we have a bigger emergency.

Tweezers:
A stray hair will drive you meshugena! Include tweezers with your Meshugena Materials.

Breath Mints/Drops:
You’ll be smoochin’! You’ll be close-talking with Aunt Elaine. You don’t want to be the bride with the bad breath. A little mint goes a long way so pick your favorite flavor and keep halitosis away.

Superglue:
When used properly, superglue is really super. It’s the best fixer upper for a broken nail, shoe heel, decorations, jewelry, bouquet doo-dads, and hair accessories.

Basic Toiletries:
Lotion, chap stick, deodorant — it’s a loooong day. You’ll want to keep things on hand with you as you travel from event to event. Touch ups from all three will serve you well and give you peace of mind that you’re moisturized and fresh.

Do you have any additional tips or ideas for our Meshugena Materials? We’d love to hear your wise words from experience!

Want to make me the happiest birthday girl ever and win a bag of bridal Meshugena Materials with some of the goodies listed here? Comment here or on Facebook now through Sunday night at 11:59 PST with your go-to secret weapon for bridal or special occasion emergencies. Winner will be selected at random and announced on Monday, June 10!

How To Write Your Wedding Vows

There are the traditional words that your officiant will have you repeat as you go through your Jewish or interfaith ceremony, but it may be your wish to express yourselves with your own personal words. I love the idea of writing your vows to customize your wedding because your guests get a chance to get to know you even better as individuals and as a couple.

You may be the type to have written your vows months in advance with a confident grin sprayed across your face. Or, you may be the type to be in the middle of your eyelash application on the morning of your wedding still without any idea of what to say. Whether you’re a planner or a last minute writer, these tips should be able to help you feel good about the words you’ll share with your love in front of your loved ones.

There’s nothing worse than writer’s block. Trust me. I know this first hand. There are so many nights I stare at a blank page on the back end of The Wedding Yentas and agonize over what to write for all of you. But then I just … write. I just dump out ideas. They are raw and messy and completely disjointed, but once I find a concept that seems to afford itself some kind of direction, I then fine tune the words so they make sense for you. You should’ve seen THIS post before that whole exercise. Oy!

So, what I’m saying is, jot down some notes. Scribble out some thoughts. They don’t have to make sense to anyone, but you. This step of the process is more of a brain wake up than a development of a masterpiece.

Writing your wedding vows -- Photo by Sharon Schuster

You can even do some research. Yes, you can even Google your wedding vows. I don’t mean to tell you to copy a stranger’s words entirely, but perhaps you’ll stumble across something that inspires you. Or maybe you’ll find a quote that you’ll want to weave into your own vows. This is a great way to fuel your ideas and personal words.

Then, add some of your own anecdotes. You can go all out with the mush factor or you can spice up your vows with humor. Personally, I love a little mish-mosh of both. A little sarcasm has a place in a wedding ceremony. Plus, if you don’t have a sense of humor, the ebbs and flows of marriage are going to be a little rough on you. May as well set the humorous tone from the very beginning, right?

You can list things that are important to you. For instance, I vowed to give Mr. Yenta total ownership of the remote control and to let him eat all the mushrooms off my plate because I hate them (plus, he’s a fun guy… haha, get it?). Then I also went the sappy route, declaring how much he changed my life for the better and opening up about our dreams for the future. I tied in our interests — theatre, baseball, traveling, food — and also touched on some memories. I sealed it in with my feelings. I share this to assist you in your brainstorm for your own vows.

Photo by Eight20 Photography

Lastly, when you finally settle on your words, your tone, and your flow, you’ll want to rehearse it a little so you’re comfortable with the words in your mouth. You don’t have to memorize it because often, vows recited by memory sound insincere. But you should at least be very familiar with it so that you’ll feel secure if you end up getting distracted from giggles or, more likely, tears.

And if you come up with your vows minutes before walking down the aisle then all I have to tell you is to speak from your heart like I hope you will from that day forward.

You’re Invited…:A Step-By-Step Guide To Ordering Your Wedding Invitations

Out of all your wedding tasks you have to accomplish, ordering and organizing wedding invitations may seem like the biggest headache. It may not be the most glamorous task (oo la la, dress shopping!) or the yummiest (cake tasting for the win!), but it’s a really important one. After all, how else are your guests going to know when and where to show up on your big day? It’s the foundation of your wedding day and can even set the tone for what guests can expect.

Want the scoop on the process? Here’s a breakdown before you have a breakdown.

Get Organized:
Before you even have to pick out your invitations, you have to pick out the people you want to receive them. Start early and start collecting addresses once you’ve finalized your guest list. Keep an organized spreadsheet and have it handy because once you receive your ready invitations, you’ll need to mail them out and the last thing you want to do is catalog addresses because it’ll slow your process down.

Plan Out:
If your wedding is Winter of 2013, you might think you have tons of time. It’s only June! What’s the rush? The wedding is the end of December! You have six-ish months! Right? WRONG! Work backwards. You need to mail out the invitations six to eight weeks before your wedding date. (late September/early October). Prior to that, you’ll need to assemble the invitations (may take a week). Before that, you’ll have order the invitations and they will take some time come in (sometimes four to six weeks depending on the vendor or manufacturer). That brings you to ordering in early August. Searching for the perfect invitation won’t be an instant task, either. You’ll look at many samples or visit many boutiques or designers. Take your time to shop. Give yourself at least a month. So now you’re looking at starting in July. It’s June now. Need I say more?

Play it extra safe and assume something will go wrong. I know, what happened to the optimistic Yenta? You never know! The manufacturer could go under (yay economy!) or there could be a typo on your response card. You never know. Don’t wait until the last minute to place your oder in case you have to make a quick reorder.

Search According To Your Budget:
Invitations work the same way as shopping for your dress: don’t fall in love with something out of your budget. If you can’t put down the cash for the Monique, by all means, don’t try on the Monique (I know, it’s so hard, but this is for your sanity). It’s no different with your invitations. If you know you can’t have letterpress printing in your budget, don’t even look at samples with such deliciously beautiful and drool-worthy fine details. You don’t want to have to overspend on invitations and you definitely don’t want to have to go take away from another area of your budget in order to have the suite you — oops! — fell in love with. Be up front with your invitation consultant about your budget and be sure to stick to it. If the consultant or designer tries to upsell you, it’s disrespectful and you should not continue with their services.

If you have no budget to speak of and money is of no object, well, by all means, why are we not friends? I like Marc Jacobs and I wear a size 8 shoe.

Shop By Feature:
Ask yourself: what’s the one element your invitation absolutely must have? A specific color? A design? A paper size or shape? Pick that one element and shop by that one element. In a perfect world, that one element complements your overall wedding style. Let’s face it, there are lots of pretty invitations to choose from, but if you select all the ones you like, you’ll never pick THE one. If it’s a turquoise and white color them you’re going for, that means you will shop invitations with only that theme. If you’re working with a designer who’s making a custom suite for you, feel free to bring pictures with you to share the features you like. Many wedding invitation websites allow you to search by feature as well, so utilize that convenience. A personal favorite is Wedding Paper Divas. Don’t get sidetracked and distracted by other — oooo!! Shiny invitations with rhinestones!!! You’ll be married before your invitations even go out. Get it?

Invest In Samples:
Once you’ve narrowed down your top picks, and I mean, tip top tippy-top picks (top three?), order samples. This way, you can touch your paper, feel the print, smell that fresh new paper smell — mmmmmmm. This is your invitation test drive. Get to know and love it because once it’s out of your hands, it’s hanging on someone’s fridge.

Overall, you’ll just feel better about your order because you courted before your committed. Hopefully you did the same thing with the fiance, yes?

Decisions Beyond Invitations:
Remember, you’re not just mailing an invitation. You’re mailing an envelope, a response card, maybe a directions insert, and so on. Oh yes, and are you choosing to line your envelopes? What about an outer fancy shmancy envelope? These are the big decisions, people! Don’t forget to weigh your priorities. That outer envelope with the guests’ name and address contains another big envelope which has the real good inside that one. Do you really need the outer envelope? It’s formal and it looks cool and who doesn’t like opening multiple envelopes from one mailing? But, not only does it give you more glue to lick, but it also will cost you an additional amount. The add-ons and extra components require you to do a little more research, so just when you think you’ve selected the invitation itself, you still have to settle on a couple more choices.

But wait! There’s more! Many designers also happen to have paper for other uses in each invitation line. Everything from table numbers to escort cards to thank you notes. Do you want to tie in your entire suite with what your guests see at the wedding? Some may say, “Oh, who’s going to remember the invitation once they’re at the wedding anyway?” I can’t answer that question for you, but you can at least weigh in and make that decision. This can be seen as a convenience or as an added expense. Up to you.

Decide On The Amount:
Here’s where you do some math. Remember your guest list that you compiled at the beginning of this exercise? Count up your guest list by household. Not people, but each address. Aunt Ruthie and Uncle Murray count as two people for your caterer, yes, but they are really only one combined person — or household — for your invitation order. Don’t assume the guest list equals the amount of invitations you should order. You’ll end up ordering about double of what you actually need!

Then, you’ll actually order about 15% more than the actual amount of households that will receive invitations. You may have last minute additions to who you want to invite or you might want to activate the [gulp] B List for those who can’t make it from the A List. Hey, it happens. The good ol’ trusty USPS may lose some in the mail or your friend moved and didn’t bother to tell you her new address, so you’ll have to resend some. Also, you or your parents may want to keep some invitations for scrap books or photo albums, so you’ll need some extras.

Proof ‘Em:
There is absolutely nothing more atrocious than placing your order, receiving your oder a month later, and finding that you are apparently marrying Wilma instead of William. Oy vey. Proof the invitations before you send the OK to print. Proofreading does not mean reading them over and giving a nod of approval. Proofreading is executing the following tasks:

  • Read it to yourself.
  • Read it out loud.
  • Take a sheet of notebook paper with holes and slide the hole over the line of print so as to isolate every. individual. word. on. the. invitation. Any mistake that’s there will stand out at you!
  • Give it to your mom to read. And your fiance. And your MOH. And your friend. And your podiatrist. Everyone in your inner circle must read it to themselves. And everyone in your inner circle must read it out loud.
  • Double check that the names and places are spelled correctly, addresses are listed correctly, numbers are ordered correctly, and basic English mechanics like commas and apostrophes are inserted correctly. It’s also a good idea to quadruple check that the wedding date and time are correct as well. You know, only a little important.

Celebrate:
You have placed your invitation order! Make another check on your list and breathe because this one was a doozy.

And then it’s time to move on to the next item.