Recently, I spoke with a mother of the bride who was reflecting on her daughter’s beautiful day. Everything went smoothly, thank goodness! The photos came back from the talented photographer and showed bright and cheerful flowers, a warm and inviting venue, and the bride’s VIPs, her bridesmaids, looking sharp and stylish in their dresses and shoes. But it wasn’t always like that. Well, with the shoes. The usually mellow and laid back bride had her only “bridezilla” moment when she had to redirect her bridesmaids’ footwear decisions, and I found it a worthy tale to share with you.
You see, the bride trusted her girls. She was close friends with all of them and figured the request she made was simple: to complement their hot pink bridesmaid dresses, all the girls had to do was wear silver strappy sandals.
Easy enough, right?
That was the only independent styling that the girls had to do. What could go wrong?
Thankfully, after some time, the bride had the foresight to realize that her original orders of “silver strappy sandals” could mean various styles of shoes to the individuals she chose to stand beside her on her big day.
She came to find out that one girl had “strappy sandals” she planned to wear… with a humongous platform heel and the strappy part? Well, they were straps that went up and around and around and around her calf.
Another pair of “strappy sandals” someone chose to complete the ensemble was a pair of thin, thong flip-flops. Hey, those are straps between the toes, right? And the foot is open, so uh, that’s a sandal, is it not?
Suddenly, the bride had a vision of a line of girls in identical dresses with a shoe display more diverse than the United Nations distracting the clean look of the day. She decided she had to have her one “bridezilla” moment — and it was hardly “bridezilla,” as she calmly communicated — and she shared the shoe with her bridesmaids that she’d like them to buy.
One shoe. No decisions. No four different interpretations of strappy sandals.
Brides spend so much time designing and managing the look of their wedding day, including what everyone wears. But brides also shouldn’t assume that their girls will wear shoes that will complete the vision for the bridal party style. It’s not that you don’t trust your girls to wear appropriate shoes; but they can’t be expected to be mind readers of what you’d like to see on their feet, so communicating shoe ideas is best.
You can either assign a specific shoe that they should all have or select a few shoes that would go with the dress, the look and feel of your day, and with each other if any of the shoes in the combination were to be worn. The former is simpler — here’s the shoe: bam! Done. The latter is a bit more flexible, but also has a higher level of complication (if, say, four girls have the option to choose from two pairs of shoes, then you’ll want to know how many are choosing Option 1 and Option 2 so that you don’t end up with three girls in one shoe and one girl in a different shoe — then it looks like someone’s mismatched). Either way, you are maintaining control of the shoe situation… the sit-SHOE-ation?
Your bridesmaids’ footwear may seem like the lowest ranking on your priority list — and really, it should be — but if you have brain cells and energy left toward the end of your wedding planning, a cohesive shoe plan is worth it!
Your choice of who to marry was a shoe-in. So should be the rest of your details.
Mismatched Shoes Done Right: strappy gold sandals that are different, but still tie in with each other due to low profile details, thin straps, and similar heel heights.
Well… The idea for all red shoes was a good one. But we have some heels, some flats, some thong style with heavy detail… Mismatched shoes and a mismatched look is what’s happening here. They’re all just TOO different.
Close but no cigar. We have a closed toe pump, a platform peep toe, and a simple strapped open toe heel. There are too many different styles and they’re all so unique that they fight each other. Photo by Celladora Wedding Photography
Subdued colors and vintage styles thread this cohesive look of different shoes together so that they belong! Kudos to this assortment of shoes that all look like cousins from the same family! Photo by Jill Thomas Photography
All the same color and all the same style! This is the ultimate in matchy-matchy bridesmaids shoes and the group shot is clean and stylish! Love the fun color of the shoes and how they pop against the purpose bridesmaids’ dresses. This is a winner!
Mimi Licht, LICSW, BCD founded 
