Category Archives: Jewish Traditions

This is a very good problem: You have childhood pals you’ve known since nursery school and you have sorority sisters from your time away at college. You have a cousin who’s like your clone and you have high school friends who you are still in close touch with. And then you and your partner both have siblings and they’re also in your inner circle. Poor you! You are loved by too many people and you can’t possibly have them all in your bridal party. Well, you could, but not only would your processional be longer than your ceremony, but your photographer might kill you. (Am I right, photographers?)

First, pick your bridal party. This may be difficult because you really have to narrow down your fan club, but check out this recent post that may help you feel better about it. After you’ve secured a reasonable amount of bridesmaids and groomsmen, then think about who else you’d like to honor with VIP status.

Is one of your favorite people a good singer, speechmaker, or musician? Ask them to “perform” at some point during your wedding weekend. You may ask someone close to you to give a speech or sing a song at your rehearsal dinner. There might be a point in the ceremony that someone could recite your favorite poem, or sing as you walk down the aisle. Someone special could also do the motzi over the challah or the Birkat HaMazon, the blessing after meals, thanking God for the food and His support in general. You’ll want to limit the amount of speeches during your reception (too many makes it a snoozer!), but think of other special times during your wedding event that can include putting your favorite people in the spotlight.

Pick your ketubah signers! Typically, there are two of them, and this is a huge honor. Their signatures will be on your beautiful ketubah forever and if you choose to hang it in your home, you will be reminded of these people whenever you look at it. They are invited into the room where you sign the ketubah and this is usually a private event before the chuppah ceremony. I’ve personally signed the ketubah twice for my two best friends and it was a joy to be part of the official Jewish marriage portion of the day. Remember, the ketubah signers must be Jewish and not be blood relatives. Your ketubah signers should be able to tell your rabbi or cantor their Hebrew names, and can receive help on the wedding day if the ketubah calls for writing their name in Hebrew.

Choose your marriage license witnesses. These can be the same people as your ketubah signers or you can extend the honors to two separate people. These people don’t have to be Jewish and are there to sign the marriage license that you must have with you on the day of your wedding. Your officiant should mail it in for you, and after the wedding, you should receive the certificate of marriage, but you’ll need two witnesses. This is also a really big deal for the signers since the document makes the marriage official in “the system.”

For fellas who are close to the bride or groom, there is a job for them that makes them some of the most popular men at the party. Designate some hefty dudes to hold you two up in the chair during the Hora. This doesn’t always have to be an invitation-only ritual, but it might be a fun way to honor some men who didn’t make it into the wedding party. Plus, they’ll be in all the fun photos of the chair lifts!

There are always the more job-like honors: ceremony ushers, guestbook facilitators, and escort cards host. These really are more like tasks, though, so think long and hard if it’s more of an honor or a chore for the people you ask to do this. Depending on the size of the wedding, and the style and locale, you may or may not want to ask people to do this. Sometimes it’s not necessary, but you know your wedding and your friends best, so make the decision based on the facts. These are just last-ditch ideas.

Think outside the box, too! Perhaps there are fun and unique details you’re choosing to include in your wedding day. Ask yourself how you might weave in your favorite people to honor them and then create an exciting way to ask them. Hopefully, this solves your terribly unfortunate problem of having so many wonderful people in your life!

Let’s talk about veils. To wear one or not to wear one? If you choose to wear a veil, then which kind of veil should you were? There are, like, a zillion styles. So what should you go with? What’s the terminology? Does the veil have to match the dress?

There’s so much to think about for an accessory that’s pretty to look at and serves a cultural purpose. Read on for information… unveiled.

Camo is a No No
If you choose to wear a detailed wedding gown that sparkles with beading or has serious texture like lace, consider wearing a veil that doesn’t clash or hide those elements. What a shame it would be to select your dream dress and then cover it up with a veil that hides jewels or fancy buttons. An elbow-length veil will still serve its purpose but then also not upstage your dress.

Caw! Caw! Wear a Birdcage
For serious drama or a vintage look, the birdcage veil is a classic. If you want a more traditional veil for your ceremony, you could always model a birdcage piece for photos or the reception. It’s a super-chic look that many brides love, but think they can’t pull off!! Just make sure your dress is in the same category of style. A very full and conservative gown might not mesh (haha, get it?) well with a birdcage veil, so go with a dress that’s sleek or sexy or vintage.

Can’t We All Just Get Along?
Don’t let your dress fight with your veil. Instead, they should complement each other! If your dress has beading or pretty, sparkly doodads on it, then your veil should lean toward the plain side. If your dress provides simple beauty without jewels or lots of lacy additions, then your veil can have elaborate extras. But if you combine both, the veil and the dress will end up in a one-upping competition and you’ll lose the splendor altogether. This goes for your jewelry, too. The more detailed your veil is, the softer and simpler your jewelry must be. All three elements should definitely play well together, and not against each other. There is definitely such thing as too much of a good… bling.

Color Me Bride
Make sure to color coordinate! While you don’t want your dress and veil details to be too matchy-matchy, you definitely have to make sure your colors are! If you are wearing an ivory dress, it would be no bueno to wear a diamond white veil. Many bridal salons will offer you swatch samples to compare and be sure that both items match. There is no wrong color — it’s up to you to decide what works for your style and skin tone — but you definitely want to be sure that the color is consistent for both beauties.

Veil Types
You’d think that a drapey piece of mesh would be a no-brainer shopping experience. Wrong! If you’ve just started shopping for a veil, you’ll start to hear lots of body part-centric lingo that you didn’t know could describe a wedding day accessory. Basically, many veils are described by the body part they reach. There’s shoulder length, elbow length, fingertip length, knee length, and floor length (not a body part, but toe-length just sounds weird). Then, there’s church lingo that describes two other varieties of veils and let’s face it, Hebrew school didn’t prepare you for that kind of information. Chapel length veils extend to the floor, about seven feet from the top/head piece. A cathedral length veil trails anywhere from one to three yards behind the dress. The most formal style of veil is the cathedral length.

Bride, Groom… and Veil Photos?
You and your beloved will be taking a day’s worth of photos together. From posed shots to candid snaps, the two of you will get total paparazzi treatment and it’s your big opportunity to be fierce! Your veil can be a character in your photos, too! From romantic to playful, make sure to include your veil in your happy day. You’ll be happy you did… from head to toe. Here are some camera must haves to run by your photographer.

One of the main differences between a traditional Jewish wedding and a non-Jewish wedding is the wedding processional. A Jewish wedding needs a little wider of an aisle to accommodate the bride and groom as they walk down the aisle… with their parents.

It is a Jewish custom that both the mothers and fathers of the bride and the groom walk their children down the aisle. Naturally, if a parent is deceased or if there is a step-parent situation unique to the wedding occasion, that’s a different story and one to discuss with your partner and rabbi.

We love this beautiful tradition, as a child is still a child, even on his or her wedding day. Together, the parents raised the child to become an adult who is now taking on the mitzvah of marriage. It’s so nice that the groom doesn’t make the walk alone down the aisle; his parents showed him the way to be a man and on his wedding day, they show him the way to meet his bride under the chuppah. Likewise, the relationship between a mother and daughter is so unique and special, that it’s only fitting that the mother joins the father as they both link arms with their daughter in her wedding gown.

These are the tender moments that always send me to a waterfall of happy tears every time I attend a Jewish wedding. Here we’ll share with you some of these priceless, milestone moments. The photos give you a peek into this miraculous and lovely relationship between parents and their children. While I love looking at the the beautiful aura of the bride or the dashing and in-love groom, admiring the parents during one of their proudest moments gives me goosebumps! Grab a hankie!