The Wedding Yentas™ | A Guide for the Jewish Bride!™

Are You Inviting Exes To Your Wedding?

Posted on July 17, 2013 by Alison in From The Yentas, Planning

Almost everyone has that shoebox. You know the one I’m talking about. The one without any shoes inside.

Instead, you’ve curated old pictures, letters, and tsotchkes from your old relationship. That’s right, it’s the Ex Box.

But now you’re getting married and the miniature museum of old flames sleeps quietly under your bed among old magazines and knock off handbags. Just because you still have a box of these things — and you only have them because the alternative, throwing them away, seems way harsh, Tai — doesn’t mean that you’re held to an expectation of involving your exes in your new (and improved?) life.

It’s quite possible that you’re even still friendly with your exes. I actually am. At the very least, they’re my Facebook friends. And I even run into a few now and then and exchange pleasant conversation when the occasion arises. However, none of them came to my wedding.

If things ended really happy-go-lucky with your ex and you are truly good friends who stay in touch beyond the superficial stuff, then sure, your ex seems to have earned a place at your wedding just like the rest of your friends.

However, if your ex is only still in your life simply due to mutual friends or convenient circumstances, but no other reasons that warrant an invitation to your wedding, then it’s suggested your big day go on sans ex.

But no matter what the circumstance is, if your present has an issue at all with your past, then your ex is simply not invited, no matter how friendly you are. Remember that your allegiance is to your current and forever partner, so if he or she has any problem processing why or how your ex would be invited to the wedding, then that decision stands. Obviously this works the other way around as well, if the person you are marrying is proposing that an ex be invited and you’re not cool with it. You both need to be happy in order for this to work. Bottomline.

Being on the fence about inviting your ex is OK. Being certain that you’re making the right decision for you and the lucky person standing under the chuppah with you is what matters most. You may have an old box full of momentos from someone else, but you have a lifetime of memories to make with your love. When it comes to inviting your ex, you should have a strong reason why.

Starting Your Bridesmaids Off On The Right Foot

Posted on July 16, 2013 by Alison in Inside Scoop, Planning

Recently, I spoke with a mother of the bride who was reflecting on her daughter’s beautiful day. Everything went smoothly, thank goodness! The photos came back from the talented photographer and showed bright and cheerful flowers, a warm and inviting venue, and the bride’s VIPs, her bridesmaids, looking sharp and stylish in their dresses and shoes. But it wasn’t always like that. Well, with the shoes. The usually mellow and laid back bride had her only “bridezilla” moment when she had to redirect her bridesmaids’ footwear decisions, and I found it a worthy tale to share with you.

You see, the bride trusted her girls. She was close friends with all of them and figured the request she made was simple: to complement their hot pink bridesmaid dresses, all the girls had to do was wear silver strappy sandals.

Easy enough, right?

That was the only independent styling that the girls had to do. What could go wrong?

Thankfully, after some time, the bride had the foresight to realize that her original orders of “silver strappy sandals” could mean various styles of shoes to the individuals she chose to stand beside her on her big day.

She came to find out that one girl had “strappy sandals” she planned to wear… with a humongous platform heel and the strappy part? Well, they were straps that went up and around and around and around her calf.

Another pair of “strappy sandals” someone chose to complete the ensemble was a pair of thin, thong flip-flops. Hey, those are straps between the toes, right? And the foot is open, so uh, that’s a sandal, is it not?

Suddenly, the bride had a vision of a line of girls in identical dresses with a shoe display more diverse than the United Nations distracting the clean look of the day. She decided she had to have her one “bridezilla” moment — and it was hardly “bridezilla,” as she calmly communicated — and she shared the shoe with her bridesmaids that she’d like them to buy.

One shoe. No decisions. No four different interpretations of strappy sandals.

Brides spend so much time designing and managing the look of their wedding day, including what everyone wears. But brides also shouldn’t assume that their girls will wear shoes that will complete the vision for the bridal party style. It’s not that you don’t trust your girls to wear appropriate shoes; but they can’t be expected to be mind readers of what you’d like to see on their feet, so communicating shoe ideas is best.

You can either assign a specific shoe that they should all have or select a few shoes that would go with the dress, the look and feel of your day, and with each other if any of the shoes in the combination were to be worn. The former is simpler — here’s the shoe: bam! Done. The latter is a bit more flexible, but also has a higher level of complication (if, say, four girls have the option to choose from two pairs of shoes, then you’ll want to know how many are choosing Option 1 and Option 2 so that you don’t end up with three girls in one shoe and one girl in a different shoe — then it looks like someone’s mismatched). Either way, you are maintaining control of the shoe situation… the sit-SHOE-ation?

Your bridesmaids’ footwear may seem like the lowest ranking on your priority list — and really, it should be — but if you have brain cells and energy left toward the end of your wedding planning, a cohesive shoe plan is worth it!

Your choice of who to marry was a shoe-in. So should be the rest of your details.

Mismatched Shoes Done Right: strappy gold sandals that are different, but still tie in with each other due to low profile details, thin straps, and similar heel heights.

Well… The idea for all red shoes was a good one. But we have some heels, some flats, some thong style with heavy detail… Mismatched shoes and a mismatched look is what’s happening here. They’re all just TOO different.

Close but no cigar. We have a closed toe pump, a platform peep toe, and a simple strapped open toe heel. There are too many different styles and they’re all so unique that they fight each other. Photo by Celladora Wedding Photography

Subdued colors and vintage styles thread this cohesive look of different shoes together so that they belong! Kudos to this assortment of shoes that all look like cousins from the same family! Photo by Jill Thomas Photography

All the same color and all the same style! This is the ultimate in matchy-matchy bridesmaids shoes and the group shot is clean and stylish! Love the fun color of the shoes and how they pop against the purpose bridesmaids’ dresses. This is a winner!

Top 5 Reasons You Should Have A Web Site For Your Jewish Wedding

Posted on July 15, 2013 by Alison in From The Yentas, Inside Scoop, Planning

When Motel the Tailor and Tzeitel got married in Fiddler on the Roof, they didn’t have a website. After they tied the knot, they revealed their pride and joy, Motel’s new sewing machine, and while that sewing machine was pretty snazzy for 19th century Old Country, the sewing machine was their only piece of technology and it did nothing for their own piece of real estate on the web. That’s probably because there was no web except for the ones built by spiders, but I digress. I wouldn’t want a sewing machine to make clothes anyway. Hel-lo? That’s what Nordstrom and Bloomies is for!

So, here’s what I say: don’t act like you’re a babushka-wearing, cow-milking, old school, nice Jewish girl. Welcome to the 2000s. You’re a modern, mainstream bride! Create a wedding website. Why? Here are the top 5 reasons!

1. Learn About The Couple!
It’s unlikely that 100% of your guests will know each of you intimately. Here’s your big chance to share who you are and other obvious reasons why you love one another. The more details, the better! I personally enjoy reading about the bride and groom (or the bride and bride or groom and groom — whatever!) and like when details about their background and current lives are included in the write ups. If your Uncle Murray hasn’t seen you since you tap danced in the talent show at the Catskills family reunion and he’s never met your fiance, here’s where he can make up for lost time before attending your wedding.

2. Registry Information
You’re going to get presents for your wedding and it doesn’t suck. For those who decide not to cut a check, you’ll receive something tangible, but if you’re taking the time to register, you may as well make sure people know about the coveted list. Your website is the perfect place to house this precious information as it automatically links to the stores’ sites and your registry. Two clicks and your Internet savvy friends and family are on their way to gifting your gravy boat. Groovy. Where does registry information NOT go? Your wedding invitation! It’s a no-no. And since your registry information should be included on your wedding website, the wedding website should not be on the formal invitation. I know, I know, here I am preaching the registry gospel, and I’m telling you to leave it off the formal invitation. It can be on shower invites, save the dates, and even rehearsal dinner mailers. And if you must include the website in the formal invitation suite, put it on a separate card, but never on the actual invitation with the “Mr. & Mrs. So and So invite you to the marriage of their daughter” yada yada part. It’s considered pandering for presents. Otherwise, go nuts posting your wedding URL on all other methods of communication. And enjoy your registered gifts!

3. Personalize Your Style
Many wedding websites come with options to customize the artwork and format in which details are displayed. This is a great opportunity to give a clue about the style or theme of your wedding. Other than the formal invitation or save the date, there are really no other pieces that wedding guests see to clue them into what your wedding might be like. A formal black tie wedding might have a clean and elegant website design. Likewise, a rustic, vintage, shabby chic event might be a little more casual and flowery online. Here’s one more place you can tie in your colors, style, and personal touches like a logo or quote.

4. Talk Up Your Wedding Party
You didn’t rent bridesmaids and groomsmen, right? They are people that you actually know and even like, correct? So gush about them! Include a list of your wedding party and maybe even write up a blurb about them. Go the extra mile and include photos. They’re the supporting players in your big debut as husband and wife, so make sure they have a little time in the spotlight. Plus, they’ll be VIP the day of the wedding and your guests might want to know a little about the people who make you happy and keep you from going meshuga.

5. Details Of Your Big Day
Just in case your disorganized pals lose your $4.00 invitation (grrrr), they can at least get the must-know details of your wedding day online from anywhere. Make sure to include your date, location or locations (if there are separate venues for ceremony and reception places), time of ceremony (usually the time on the invitation should be about 30 minutes before the actual walk-down-the-aisle-it’s-go-time-there’s-no-turning-back-now time), and dress preferences like black tie or resort wear. Your out-of-towners will especially appreciate hotel information and if there are room blocks you’ve set up for them. The details of such accommodations should be included on the website. Your guests will thank you for making it less stressful to attend your wedding. I mean, travel these days is so annoying. Aunt Marilyn will be too busy worrying about condensing her Jean Nate body splash in a 3 ounce bottle in her carry on. Don’t make her start kvetching about how she doesn’t know if there’s a group rate at the Marriott. All of these details are a must. Additional details like local airports, transportation options, popular destinations and things to do are great additions to your wedding website.

Do a quick Internet search to find out about wedding websites. There are many free resources available (6. another reason to create one: it’s usually freeeee!) and The Wedding Yentas loves the many great sites on MyWedding. There’s even an option for designs inspired by your favorite Jewish wedding planning website (ahem!) so, ya know, you might want to check that out.

Have fun with your website and enjoy your own little piece of property on the web!

{Real Jewish Weddings} Peabody, MA

Posted on July 10, 2013 by Alison in Real Jewish Weddings

David and Ashley’s charming barn wedding blended the perfect amounts of rustic and glamorous ingredients to create a perfect day. The chuppah was made out of four pieces of white birch and was held by four close friends. The fabric on top of the chuppah was a white tallis that the couple bought on their trip to Israel (last December/January). The groom who is a rabbi will use the tallis in the future, and the chuppah poles will be “recycled” as bed posts in their house. The ketubah was a customized creation by Jerise Fogel. The text of the ketubah was customized by David and Ashley, expressing their hopes and wishes for their future together, built out of traditional ketubah texts.

Mazel tov, Ashley and David!

Photographer: Heather Parker Photography
Venue: Smith Barn
Hair Stylist: Amy Buchanan from Main Street Salon
Cake Designer: Frederick’s Pastries
Calligrapher & Ketubah: Jerise Fogel
Floral Designer: Les Fleurs
Musicians: ShilakowskyArts Music
Caterer: Vinwood Caterers

Submitted via Two Bright Lights

{Real Jewish Weddings} Scottsdale, AZ

Posted on July 9, 2013 by Alison in Real Jewish Weddings

Lanae and Dennis were married in Lanae’s hometown of Scottsdale, Arizona. After 13 months of dating, Dennis surprised Lanae and proposed to her at one of her favorite places in the world, Arizona Cardinal Stadium. The next day, they started looking at venues and The Princess was the first place they saw and they knew, just like with each other, that they had found the one! They married the following November on a gorgeous, sunny, fall day.

With about 175 family and friends looking on, they added several personal touches like a late night candy bar, customized menu created entirely by the couple, and even their mini goldendoodle Bella served as a flower girl! The Groom’s biggest request was having the coolest yalmurke anyone had ever seen, so he decided to get the couple’s monogram swarovski crystaled on top of his kipah! Since they are both in the entertainment industry, they tapped on some of their big named celebrities they have worked with for a surprise video for their guests. Charlie Sheen, Fergie, Zac Efron, and Kellie Pickler are just a few of the several A-listers that wished the couple congratulations in the video that wowed their family and friends. Lanae wanted to do something different, so she chose an ombre theme with lots of touches of red. The aisle was outlined with ombre petals gradually fading from white to pink to red. Her bouquet and cake matched the theme as well! The couple decided to have the chuppah be re-used in the reception as well and it sat over their sweetheart table the entire night where the couple enjoyed their evening eating, drinking, and being married!

Mazel tov, Lanae and Dennis!